So let's talk about the voice on your shoulder. You know what I mean? That voice in your head that's always saying, Oh, you shouldn't have done that. Oh, for goodness sake, what's he going to think of you? Now? Why didn't you say that?

If you'd have said that, then this would have happened, that would have been much better. Oh, you are a full Oh, you are stupid. Oh, for goodness sake, what's happening? Let's talk a little bit about where this voice comes from. I call it the voice of respectability. Because it was taught to us by our parents to allow us to be social animals to allow us to belong to a group to allow us to be part of a group.

Throughout our lives, it's reinforced by society groups to keep us in line with the rules of the group. And these rules, of course, are for the benefit of the group. They're not really for the benefit of you. And it actually stops you being an individual So, the voice makes us check certain things as we're going along. Is this response appropriate? Is this response acceptable?

Is this in line with the rules of the group just now and will we be accepted by the group if we do this, so you can see how this voice has been modified. To keep you in check with the rules of the group of the social group that's happening. habit that begins to stop us striving for individuality. This voice habit stops us reaching for our own goals. It stops us searching for different routes quite often. It doesn't allow us to believe in ourselves.

So quite often people who have been brought up in quite a strict environment and weren't shown the benefits of self belief, of independence and of confidence, often find they are more anxious because they're being pulled all different ways by the different groups. So if you think about the rules of the groups, okay, how many groups are you currently and that have their rules of acceptability? And to be part of the school, the church, the family, the club that you're in? How much does that allow for individuality? So let's have a think about what we can actually do about it. How Can we change this over exertion of the voice of respectability, and allow it to allow us to be more individual and be confident about ourselves, and to be confident about the route that we want to take in our life?

And so this is my answer. What we need to do is create our own group, it is now time for you to make your own rules. It is now time for you to value your own values and bring those into your group. You can think about your chosen team members in your group who is it that you're going to allow into your group and who is it that actually is not going to be allowed into your group because they spent the whole time running you down and telling you you can't possibly do that and you can't possibly do That, and you don't say the right things and you don't wear the right clothes. And those people are not going to be allowed into your group because your group is going to be a group of people that are going to push you further show you how to be confident that these people are going to be sharing their wealth of experience of confidence and their ability to handle the stress around them.

And of course, your group in your group, you're going to have your own aspirations and your own goals. You're going to talk about them and you're going to make them happen. So, this creation, this new group is the group that is going to allow you to stress less by being a more confident In fact, a much better person. In fact, you're going to create the very best you in this group. So it's time to ditch the criticizing voice and start questioning the wisdom when the voice appears. So when you start hearing that, oh, for goodness sake, why did you say that?

You have to say, Well, excuse me, I said that because that was the best thing I could come up with at the time. In fact, I find it's quite a good idea to give the voice a name and a silly voice, a silly sound. So a cartoon character, something like that. And you can even start talking to the voice and telling the voice that actually you're too busy thinking about important things at the moment, and you have a problem to solve. So you'd be grateful if he just goes away. Thank you very much.

Off you go. Now I'm far too busy to listen to you. It's time now for me to think about the things I should be thinking about, and not the things that have happened in the past and the things that are holding me back from my future and holding me back from becoming my very best self. So, it's time now to start training the mind to start allowing your mind to be thinking about the things you need to think about. And stopping your mind wandering around in circles and running back criticizing you all of the time. It's time to train the mind a bit like training a puppy to come back and concentrate on what actually you want to concentrate on.

So we will be having a look at some training minds. exercises. So things, as I explained, returning training the mind to return to the mat, when it wanders off course and it wanders off track, especially in the night, you know that you can be lying. And then all of a sudden, all of the things you've said and start going around and around in your mind and then you start wondering well how she's going to be next time we meet. Well, it's time now to concentrate on bringing your mind back to the present and you telling it what you're going to think about. We've put together some mind exercises to help us the subconscious mind to solve your problems, especially during the night as well because that's quite often when you need to, or want to solve problems or your mind wants to solve problems.

It's very good at it, but we've got to point it in the right direction. So it's useful and it's not keeping awake at night. We're going to be looking at using all of the knowledge that you've built up over all of the years to decide what is most useful for you now, so that you actually don't have to listen to that voice. So we will go straight on and have a look at some mind exercises, building our confidence and having a look what else we need to change.