So now we're here, we're at the point where I'm going to give you the basic process for saying no. And it's a four step process. And the first step is to make a confident decision. decide you're going to say no. And I've given you a range of tools to help you do this. The most valuable of which I find is the scope process.
Remember, this is where you stop. you clarify what's going on, you organize your thoughts about what your options are, you proceed. And then having made your choice and acted on it, evaluate constantly, the outcomes. The second step is to make a confident and positive note. Do it in a courteous and polite way. But make a confident no Objection.
And take responsibility for your No. Use the word I, when you make a note. So, when you say no to someone who is asking you for a piece of work, say, No, I'm afraid I'm unable to do it. Because I have other priorities. Don't try and blame it on someone else. For example, now, I can't do that my boss has asked me to do something else.
If your boss has asked you to do something else, then again, take responsibility for your choice. No, I can't do that. I need to prioritize the work that my boss has asked me to do. The third step is very important, a powerful reason why you have chosen to do it. One of the most interesting experiments that social scientists have done is to work done by Ellen Langer and Ellen Langer has shown that people are more likely to accept a request or to accept a denial of their request when there is a because when you give a good reason, people are more likely to accept your note. So always add the word because and give your reason.
And the fourth step in a good noble objection is to offer appropriate alternatives where you can. So, here we go. No, I can't help you at this stage, because I need to prioritize the work that my boss has sent me. However, it may be worth going over to speak to Paul. Paul has done this sort of thing before and I'm sure he can give you some very good advice. So what have we done in these four simple steps?
Firstly, we've made a clear decision. Secondly, we've given a confident, courteous and respectful but very clear, noble objection. Thirdly, we've made sure that the person we've given our note to understands our reasons. And finally, we've given a little bit of support and help some alternatives that let them know that we actually care about them. For simple steps, the saying no, I truly noble objection