Who the areas of life where knowing whether to say yes or no is particularly difficult? The most difficult of all, is often the question Should I stay? Or should I go? knowing whether to say yes or no to a relationship? So to help you, I put together five rules of thumb for relationships. First rule of thumb is that you should be thoughtful and careful when you act to make your decision.
Don't make decisions when you're angry, upset, depressed, don't make your decision out of spite, to try and hurt someone or on a whim, because the mood takes you take time to make a careful decision. Be as objective as you can. But you also need plenty of time to listen to your heart. And the second rule of thumb is don't let the problem fester. They'll come a time when you know a decision is needed. You don't know what that decision is going to be quite possibly.
But even if the decision is to stay, the sooner you think about it carefully make that decision and commit to doing what it takes to maintain and build back that relationship, the better. Because if you let it fester, if you let the problem fester, it will grow larger and harder to tackle. The third rule of thumb is to be as objective as you can about your behavior as well as their hairs. Because it takes two to build a relationship. It takes two to turn a relationship sour. Often, we project our own failings and our own problems on the other person.
When you can separate those out. You might realize The relationship is a good one. If only you can change. My fourth rule of thumb is to take responsibility yourself for the issues because as a relationship as a two way thing, any issues are as much your issues as they are the other persons. So don't get into confrontations and don't start any conversations with you. Because that kind of blame for finding whether you want the relationship to succeed or not, will cause it to fail.
My fifth rule of thumb is that if you have bad news, break in as soon as you can find an appropriate time and do it in a direct manner. Not blunt, but don't shilly shally around the issue, you know, get straight to the point, because if you tiptoe around the topic, the other person knows something's going on. You're not doing yourself or them any favors and listen to their response. without interruption, because if you have broken into them directly and they weren't expecting it, they need time to process it. So there you have it, five useful rules of thumb. To help you further, you'll find in the printed materials associated with this lecture, a checklist of questions you can ask yourself.
This is difficult. Should you stay or should you go? I don't want to give you the answer because I don't know the answers. But I do wish you well in finding the right answer.