Hi, welcome back to ready for love. Welcome to session number seven. In this recording, I'm going to give you the basics to online and app dating. online dating does not have to be hard. All you need to do is pick a site or an app, or both. Now some people wonder, do I want to be on more than one?

You can. This setup is kind of a pain in the butt. But once you got it all done, it's all going to the same email anyway. So if you want more chances, use multiple sites. If you just want to put your toe in the water, you can just pick one site. Now the big question, well one to pick.

You just want to go with one of the popular ones. You want to go with one of the popular ones because they have the numbers. You want a really wide selection. So match or OkCupid or Tinder, anything like that. There are two sites that I don't recommend the first As eHarmony, they make you jump through too many hoops in the name of compatibility. And it's a time waster.

I'm also not a fan of Bumble, unless you want a laid back, type B kind of guy. The guys who go on Bumble, think, finally, let the women do some work, let them reach out to me, that's who's on Bumble. Then there are guys who aren't like that, but they're usually on multiple sites here and I find them on the other sites as well. So pick the site or the app you want, and get busy. Fill out the pictures, fill out the profile. I'm going to share with you how to do that.

But I'll start by letting you know what a man sees where he's going to start, how he's going to perceive you how he's going to read your profile. The first thing he's going to do is look at your number one main photo, duh, right, that's the first place they're gonna go. So you got to make it a good one you want To make a close up so we can see your face. Make your most attractive one. And from there, he's going to look at how do you classify your body? What's the body type?

Now I know this might sound shallow, but girl you know you go see how tall he is right? It's the same thing he's gonna see if she might flavor. You want to get the body type, right? I know a woman who was very petite, about a size for curvy, but for very athletic. So she was athletic size for fit had really lovely curves. She classified herself as curvy.

No, curvy is meant for a size 14 size 16 she Miss identified her body type, so she wasn't getting the results she needed. So please be accurate in how you classify your body type. And if you're not sure, you should ask a girlfriend. So he's gonna See the first picture? He's going to look at how you classify your body type. And then he's going to go in and look at the rest of the pictures and see, can he accept the description?

Does the photos match up does the next photo match up to the first photo? He's looking to see if you look the same. If you add up. He's also looking to see what can he find out about your life. This is before reading anything. So when you get your photos done, and when I say get your photos done, I mean with your cell phone with a girlfriend, not at the glamour Emma.

So you want to just run around your city, shooting photos of each other, and you want to aim for beautiful, natural, smiling, relaxed, happy. That's it. beautiful, natural smiling, relaxed, happy, tall you're going for just you know children, no girlfriends in the shot. No Exit your country. out that looks weird. Just you for the love of God, don't cut anybody out.

Don't try and have that shot work even though you look so cute in it. Don't use that one. Only use photos that are current. good rule of thumb is if it's older than six months old, don't use it. You've got a camera right in your hand most of the time, you can get a current photo if you want to. One of the most important pictures to put on your profile is a full body shot.

You want a full body shot that shows what you look like where your curves start, where they end. It doesn't have to be from head to toe, but make sure the bulk of your body is showing and that they can see the curves. There's another thing that looks like a full body shot, but it's not a full body shot. It's called an art shot. That's when you wedge that part of your body that you don't like into a chair so Half of it disappears. Maybe it shows your whole body but it's not accurate.

Don't use those shots. Only use the real body shots. This is gonna save you so much time and so much heartache when you're dating. You want him to look at your body and say yes or no before you're ever in front of them. There's nothing worse than showing up on a date. Having him greet you.

Look you up and down, head to toe, and then frown, because they don't like what they see. Current photos, body shot that eliminates that most of the time. And then you want to write a very basic, very simple profile. You want to be brief. Because you're writing to men, you want to get to the point in the 90s match.com did a little science experiment on their readers, and they created a profile that could have been imagined. or woman, it was very generic.

And they put a handsome man on it and they pushed it out to women. And then they put a picture of a of a beautiful woman on it and pushed it out to men. And then they went researching like they do. They went researching, like a science experiment with their customers. And they took a poll, and they wanted to find out who would date that person and who wouldn't. Same profile.

The only difference is woman's picture versus man's picture. They asked the men, what do you think of this profile? Do you like or would you data? And a lot of men said, Oh, yeah, interesting. I like her. I'm intrigued by her.

I would reach out to her. When they ask the women, would you date this man? None of them would. Not one woman said yes. What the women said were, he was hiding something. He seemed shifty.

There was not enough information. For men, less is more Less is intriguing. More is too much. If you can't get the details down on your online profile, please don't get mad at him for not reading it. Because chances are, he's gonna look at your photos. He's gonna think you're really cute.

He'll read the first couple lines. If it's really long, he will not read the whole thing. Then you'll go on a date with him, he'll ask you about something that you wrote in your profile the answer to and now you're mad because he didn't read the profile or remember you don't do that. Don't set them up for that. either be brief, or if you write it long expected, he's not reading it. I created a fake profile for work because I'm often working with women in their profiles.

And so I didn't want to be hit on. I was using it for work. So I created an OkCupid profile, where I put one picture up where you could barely see my face. And then under the summary, I just wrote one sentence. I am amazing. That's It.

That was my whole profile, one photo that you couldn't quite see my face. And one sentence. I'm amazing. I did that on purpose because I didn't think anybody would respond to it because there wasn't enough information that people would just leave me alone. Because I wasn't real. I got so much attention from that one statement.

I am amazing. Men were reaching out left and right. What's amazing about you, I'm intrigued. I want to know more. I couldn't believe it. Ah, we put our heart and soul into the right thing to write.

And all I had to do was write I'm amazing and it worked like a charm. So think about that when you're creating your profile. Don't think about it that hard. They're probably not reading it anyway. But if you are going to put a little effort in, write about the things that make you happy. Write about what makes you an interesting new person.

Don't write about what a great life you would become that shows kinda bad judgment that you're talking to 25 million strangers about you being a wife. It's a little too soon it'd be like talking about a prenup in your profile, too soon. What men are looking for is, is she might type and do I want to spend 10 minutes a coffee with her. That's it. They don't need to know the rest. You can use a little filter things to say what you're looking for.

If you want to be married or all that all the things you can use the filters, but I wouldn't write about it in the essay. Also important. I know I don't have to tell you this. Maybe you want to pass this on to your friend but you would never do this right? Be honest. So many women want to lie about their age.

Don't lie about your age. You're right. You will get fewer hits than a 20 year old. That's a good thing. You will Want to date them and who want to date you for exactly who you are? And yeah, you're not going to have droves like you did at 25 Thank God, you don't have the energy for it anymore.

You know, Dave was on a panel and he was asked by a woman, the very common question, would you date me or would you be mad if I lied about my age, and she prefaced it the way many women do, which is, I lie about my age online. I'm 63 years old. I look like a 40 year old. I have the energy and spirit of a 40 year old. I'm gonna lie. Okay.

You can do that. I love what Dave said. He said, If I got there and found out you lied, it'd be over. And it's not the age. It's the lie. You say that you want an open and honest relationship filled with integrity, yet you're willing to start it out with a lie.

Now good. So I know you would never lie about your age. But for your girlfriends pass it on, don't lie. You want to be unique. You know so many of us like to walk on the beach. be unique.

You can even talk about walking on the beach. You want to be unique about it. You want to show don't tell. Now, I just told you to be brief, but you could tell a little story with just you're walking on the beach. I love Ocean Beach in January. huge waves.

No one's out there. It's just me and nature. You unique, unique walking on the beach. One of the things that we say most of us is that we love to travel so many women love to travel and when a lot of men read loves to travel. What he sees is, she's too expensive for me. Whatever you put on your homepage of your profile, they're gonna think is the most important To you, because you're leading with that in this very limited amount of real estate you've got so loves to travel, he'll make up what that means.

He'll make up. It's a top priority for you. Since you're really good at it, you probably use five star hotels, you're probably only going to fly at least business class. If you're going internationally. That's going to be expensive. Maybe you need to travel four months out of the year.

He might not be able to get all that time off and isn't gonna have to pay for all that travel. Nah, too much work. Let me go find one that doesn't need that as a top priority. Instead of saying I love to travel, share where you love to go share that one place. I could go to the Galapagos Island every year. Swimming with the crazy sea turtles napping on the beach.

Now he can see himself on the Galapagos Islands with you. That's more engaging than she's too expensive and I don't Want to pay for all her travel? What would be even better is talk about that place that's three hours from where you are the weekend getaway. What's your favorite one? Is it Tahoe? Is it Carmel?

Is it Mendocino? What do you love about it? What makes it special to you? What capacities do you have? When you come back from a trip from there? That's unique.

We have this knee jerk response to want to put all the disclaimers and all the descriptors in there. I'm nurturing. I'm lovely. You need to be responsible and honest and open. We feel like we need to put the whole kitchen sink. The whole list of who he has to be like our life depended on it.

Like if we didn't say he has to be honest and open, then only the liars would show up. You don't want to do it. It's your actual Fighting your instincts, your instincts under the Who is he wants to put it all down? What if you just put down, I'm looking for the right match for me. You can put all those descriptors down if you want to, but it doesn't make him come any faster. And in fact, it might weed some of the good ones out.

And the liars are just going to respond to the honest and open anyway because they're going to say they're honest and open. So I I would skip that part and work on having very few descriptors. And when you're describing yourself, try and stay under for as a best practice. Because it just gets to me I'm not that interesting. It's like I love to travel. It doesn't really say anything about you.

Alright, so you've grabbed your girlfriend, you shot a bunch of pictures, Kardashian style, up high, aim low. Get all the really good shots of yourself. true to form that good. You've written your profile. You've made your Unique, it's short, it's simple, it's sweet to the point. Now, all you have to do is flip it on, kick back, grab a mimosa, do nothing.

And all of the most amazing men are going to come rolling at you. And it's going to be so good because you you're going to know that they already like you, and that they like your body type because they picked you it's going to be so awesome. I wish No, that doesn't happen. Actually. I have more bad news for you. You My love are gonna have to do some work.

You have to do the work. I wish I could see just flip it on and then all the good ones come but they don't have if you sit back and wait for guys to come to you and you don't do any reaching out at all, it would be the equivalent of saying I am only going to eat at restaurants in my town that deliver to my house. Right? I mean, there are some good ones that sneak in from time to time, but mostly No. I made that mistake. When I started, I put my profile up, cross my fingers, hope for the best hoped it would all work out.

And then I got real, I realized I needed to start reaching out. And now that the hundred percent of the great guys that I went out with, I reached out to 80% and only 20% reached out to me. And in that 80% I never once asked anybody out. I never pursued anybody. But what you have to do is you have to reach out and tap, tap tap. Hi, out of the 25 million people on this site.

I'm over here. And I think you're an interesting person if you're interested right back You're going to have to do some work. Now, the online companies have done a really good job of giving you search criteria. So you can use those in the pull downs and get your age and your distance and all that good jazz in there. So you want to set your filters up. You want to change the special blend, they usually have a default special blend, you want to change that to highest match percentage.

Carve out a little time. Whether it's your entertainment time, or maybe some downtime or dead time. If you like commute on a train or something, maybe you have a block of time. That's just wasted time. That's the time and you can look online, you don't have to look every day, but just carve out a little time, entertainment time or dead time. And find people who are like you.

You know your best friend has similar morals and ideals and standards, goals and dreams that you do. Maybe your closest friends see the world the way you see the world. Wouldn't you want that in a meet? Wouldn't you want your mate to be like a best friend? Remember what I talked about when I shared with you about tribe? Go find guys in your tribe, the ones with shared or complimentary ways of seeing the world that's gonna foster respect in a relationship.

So when you find them, you're gonna have to drop the handkerchief. You know, I talked earlier about dropping the handkerchief in the real world. You have to drop it online. So what does that look like? You can do it any way you want. But I'm gonna give you three very specific options for dropping the handkerchief.

One, the very first one is are you having a me too moment? Not a hashtag Me too. Oh, you do that Me too. That kind of moment. So maybe you're reading his profile. And you see he loves music.

He loves music. You love music. Wow. So you can say, I see you like, and then you can name the band. I see like Chuck profit. He's playing with CBS on Friday.

I'm going like that. So just tap, tap tap. Hi, Jeff 5732 I see you like music. We like the same music. I'm going to this concert on Friday. What are you seeing these days?

So you want to share the me to moment? Again, not the hashtag me to moment, but the just like me moment, and then you want to ask a question. Okay. So that's one possibility. Another possibility is you see something in his profile and you really respect it. Really, really respected.

Maybe he's the executive director of the ASPCA and that's where you give your money to. Okay, so, dropping the handkerchief Looks like, hey, Jeff 7354. Wow, I see you're the executive director of the ASPCA. That's awesome. I give money every month. How did you get into that?

How do you find that line of work? If you're interested, please reach out, and then put your name. You'll notice there's a question in each one. I'll talk about that at the end here. The final one is he's done something fascinating. And you're going to talk about that.

Something impressive. Hey, Jeff 75432. Wow, you lived in Peru for six months. That's amazing. Would you ever go back? If you're interested, please reach out with your name.

Now, you notice I put a question for every dropping of the handkerchief and the reason why is sometimes men won't like you very much, but they're polite. So they might respond with the thank you or I got the job here, or I like that band too. But they won't actually answer the question that you asked. And that's just a really good marker, a really good indication that just let it go. That he really didn't pick up the handkerchief and come after you. He just did a half assed job of acknowledging it, which means, yeah, he's not that into you.

And if he isn't to you, but he did a super half assed job of responding. Do you really want to date a guy who can't string two sentences together and keep up on a conversation with you? So either way, it's not so good for you. let that one go. And like I said, I reached out 80% of the time, I want you reaching out a lot. I mean, a lot, because look who's looking for you.

This guy, this guy in the video, he's looking for you. These are the guys who are reaching out. Men who are half your age. Men who are Wh married men, the cruisers my favorite sub s u u u u u p question mark? Or how letter our letter, you know? No, you need more game than that, right?

That's who's reaching out. Or that married guy from Minneapolis who's gonna fly you in. There's no strings attached. He's super rich. He's gonna fly you in for the weekend. It's gonna be great.

You want to know, he's super rich. There are a gaggle of women already circling him in his town. He does not need to import you. I want you reaching out because I want you to have a higher quality of guy and good ones to get through. But for the most part, you're going to get the cruisers and it can be really daunting to figure out well, who do I replace? too Can I ignore everybody?

Do I have to write everybody back? having to write everybody back, we'll make you want to just stop dating altogether. It's daunting. You know, you open up your inbox, you have 50 emails, you have to respond all that shit. No. All right, so let me just set the record straight.

If it's overwhelming for you, and you will want to go offline, if you have to respond to people. You have my full permission just to delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, you don't know a stranger anything. But if you're willing, I have a plan for you. I want to break it down for you. So you can see how it looks in the real world. Because it's kind of hard to see online dating how, how you can find a line of who you respond to and who you don't.

Right. So, I'm going to give you a real world example. Pretend you're in New York. Say you're down in the village. You're gonna wait at the kiosk to pay for a magazine and maybe a drink, right? So you got your Perrier, you got your New Yorker magazine, you're online at the kiosk.

Here's the sixth person back. You're in the village. It's a hot day. Okay? There's hanging out waiting to pay. And this kinda average kind of cute guy comes up to you and grabs his magazine and gets in line behind you.

Smiles at you and says, Wow, that's a really cool bracelet. If you just looked at him, and didn't say anything. That'd be kind of weird, right? If you said, taught out today, right. And you said nothing to this nice normal guy. It's kind of a dick move, right?

Yeah, you might want to turn to him and say, Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah, it's Kind of hot today. So you might want to respond to like the good guys, maybe not your type. But the good ones we're reaching out. All right now same scenario, you're at the kiosk in the village, sixth in line, Perrier and New Yorker magazine in hand waiting. And just behind you and to the left, there's a construction site.

And at the construction site, they start cat calling you. You don't really want to turn around and interact with them, right? It would be weird. There's saying, hey, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, hey, you're not gonna turn around and go Hey, that'd be funny. But you're not going to do that right? You're just gonna ignore them.

Would be weird to ignore the the nice guy behind you. would be weird to be engaging with the cat collars. Got it? Okay, good. So The married guys, the sup, the cruisers, the rich guy from Miami when you live in California, the men half your age, the men double your age. The guys who are way outside your parameters.

Those are the cat colors. You can just delete, delete, delete, delete, delete. Now for the good guys, like I said, if you're absolutely going to be burned out in five seconds, you can delete them too. But it would be a real kindness. If you wrote them back. I have a friend.

He's a really good guy. The story ends well for him, he's married now. But when he was online, he wrote to 40 women for zero 40 women in a row, painstakingly read their profiles and wrote them a heartfelt short email. Not one response. He went offline. So you might want to write back up I want to make this really easy on you.

Easy peasy. So you're not having to struggle to think about what to say every time you're rejecting somebody that you don't want to talk to anyway. So here's what you do. You whip open a Google doc or a notes doc or something on your desktop. And you type this You ready? You type.

Dear blank thing. Thank you so much for writing. After reading your profile, I can see we're not quite a match. Good luck out there. And then your first name. That's it.

Dear blank. Thank you so much for reaching out. After reading your profile, I can see we're not quite a match. Good luck out there. And then sign your name. That's all you got to do.

And so you write that the one time You don't even have to write it again. You just whip open that word doc before you open your okay Cupid profile. And when you get into your email for the first time, you're ready to just cut copy paste, cut, copy, paste, copy paste for your region. And all you have to do is fill in their name. It's that easy. And it doesn't even matter if they've written you like a four page letter on how you're the one, you can still just cut, copy, paste that very small bit.

But again, you don't have to this is an extra added bonus kindness. And from time to time, let's call it 7% of the time, you're going to get a really weird response back, you're going to get a response from an angry man, who's going to call you all kinds of names are going to call you ugly and fat and a loser and all the other things. And of course, you're still single and just remember this day when in 20 years, we're still single, you could have been happy with him. Yeah, when you see that, just delete it, block them and know you're doing a kindness to the other 93%. It's also fine to delete anyone who is like I said wildly out of your parameters. If you only date in your town, you're unwilling to cross a bridge, go to a different town, that's fine.

And you want to state that very clearly in your profile. I only date people in San Francisco. So when the person from Miami writes you, you can delete it. And when the guy from Oakland writes you, you can delete it, not San Francisco. So you don't need to explain yourself, you can set your parameters and go from there. And you get to decide what long distance is.

It can be five miles, it can be 50 miles, it could be 500 miles you get to say, but how I recommend that you look to see what long distances for you is, how far are you willing to travel three times a week. Because if you start dating somebody and you fall into a relationship with them, and let's say they get the flu, you're going to want to travel to them to take care of them. So could be three, four times a week. That's what I'd set my marker at. Where are you willing to commute that often? You can also put disclaimers in your ads.

Lots of sites will say message me if at the bottom, and then you can put a whole bunch of disclaimers. But I want you to know any disclaimer you put in there, right that he has to live a certain distance or be a particular way. They're not reading that. It really is for you. So you can hit the delete key. The disclaimers really aren't for them.

And this is all to help save you from burnout. One of the hardest things about online dating is getting bogged down in all that minutia, having to deal with people that you don't like having to reject people you're not interested in, who've shown you nice affection. It's tricky. And I don't want you to be shallow or to surfacey. We want you to have depth and vulnerability, but I also don't want you to get bogged down. So this whole dating business where you're having to stay lightly tethered to the earth and not sucked down in the quicksand.

Have messaging is tricky. So you want to find that balance for yourself. Don't let online dating be the only thing you do. Pick another practice from session number two, how to meet them in the real world. Maybe you go to the happy hour in the financial zone, Friday at 545. Or maybe you eat dinner at the fancy restaurant lounge, and you talk to people.

Make sure you have a real world practice. So if you need to take a break from online, you're still telling the universe. Look, I didn't give up. I'm still out here. I just had to take a little internet break for a minute. Okay, listen up.

The most important tip that I'm going to give you in this session is next. You ready? Hot dating tip here. Meet right away. Meet right away. If you don't meet right away, it's one of the biggest mistakes online daters make.

Maybe write and write and write and write and they disappear. Maybe you wrote for two weeks. or two months, if you got on the phone or Skype, but you never met face to face, and they disappear, that's gonna make you want to stop dating, all that invested time. The reason we want to write and connect and be on the phone first is because it gives us a sense of safety. Like we know him, like we're vetting him, like we're trying to qualify him. This is a mistake.

It's a total mistake. You can't vet him online. You can't vet him over the phone. You can't vet him and emails back and forth. You're not going to know him. It'll also build up expectations that are completely unreasonable.

You'll have a false sense of relationship. And you might share things with a total stranger that you would never share if you'd met face to face. And anything they say, in writing to you or on their profile will be magnified by 100. So if he talked about how you went golfing with this cousin Jeff, he is now Mr. golfer. He might golf once every three years. But he mentioned it.

So it just blows everything out of proportion. And the most important piece is when you're writing, or you're talking on the phone, you're not going to get a sense of his full essence, and spirit. So let me tell you what can happen. You can write and write and write and then he'll just ghost. Right, you could waste a lot of time that way. You can write and write and write and then find out later that you got catfished that he says he's 48 and an executive, but it's actually a tween 13 year old angsty teen, right?

They might not be who they say they are. I want you to meet right away because you could get catfish, or you could get kitten fish. When they're kinda who they say they are, but maybe 200 pounds more and 20 years Older. So you want to meet right away. If you get on the phone, it can go wrong in either direction. Whether you give good phone or bad phone, it can still go wrong.

So if you get on the phone, it's not an organic situation. You're on the phone with a stranger. He doesn't know you. He's trying to impress you, but he can't see you. He doesn't know you. So he'll start pulling from his past things to tell you.

He's a middle child, I don't know. And it gets boring and you're bored by him and you think I don't want to date anybody that boring. But if you had actually met for coffee, you had had a lot of things to talk about because he could see you. You'd be a real person. So sometimes we roll people out because they're boring, but it's just super not organic to do it that way over the phone. Some people just don't give that great a phone to a stranger.

And then there's the opposite problem. You both give great phone, you get all connected, and you talk all the time. And the phone gets hot when you lay in bed and you're talking each other to sleep and it's amazing and you share all this stuff with him. And then you meet him. And in two seconds, it's over. You're not attracted.

He's not attracted. Neither of you are attracted. And now you're embarrassed for all that time you spent on the phone with him. Don't do it. The other reason is, you can see his essence in a spirit. There was this first date.

His number was number 60. If you read my book, he looks so good on paper. Oh my god, I was so happy to see his profile, because nobody looked like him. And he looked so perfect for me. Date number 60. Ah, so good.

And I reached out I dropped the handkerchief and he wrote back We're going back and forth and he said, Let's get on the phone. And Damn it. He sounded gay. I mean, just really a feminine voice, like, crushed. So I wasn't going to meet him. I was going to blow it off.

But he was kind of pushy, because he liked my profile as much as I liked his. So I thought, fine. I'll go out to dinner with him. Yeah, so I went out to dinner, not coffee. If I knew I had a good hour and a half worth of topic with anyone, I would go out to dinner with them. So I get there.

And he's amazing in real life. In real life, he's masculine, he still has the same voice. But when you put the essence in the spirit and the height and the body language, and you put it all together, masculine, so we can accidentally rule people out over the phone for being too boring or for sounding gay or for some stupid thing, that if you actually got face to face with them, you would not have ruled them out. So meet right away. And a way that will help you not burn out is be lazy. be lazy A F, tell him that you want to meet him at your favorite cafe or wine bar, you can give them the location, or you can give them the neighborhood.

And it can be two doors down from where you live. You don't need to tell him it's two doors down from where you live. be lazy. Don't rub it in his face that you didn't have to travel. They just make it easy for you. And I'm not telling you to make it easy for you and to be lazy.

So he has to do all the work. I'm telling you this because I don't want you to burn out. I want you to get through the experiences you need to get through to find your love. So I want you to meet right away. I mean, like I don't know as soon as possible. Three days by the weekend like that because before then no matter how much communication you've had, you have no solid foundation.

You want to hear my voice in your head, he is not a real person until you're face to face at the cafe, or the wine bar, or wherever. When you're going on an internet date, you want to take your phone, be sure and take your phone, because you might be running late or he might be running late. Also, you might not recognize him. So you want to be able to touch base and say, Hey, I'm here are you here, you can text back. I'm at the end of the bar like that. So take your phone.

And when you see him, I want you to pay attention to your instincts. If at any point, your instinct says no dangerous. Listen, we have really good instincts. The hair goes up on the back of our necks or arms, the hair on our arms go up, or we get that gut response. No. But then something happens after that initial instinct response, which is a different part of our instinct.

Kick in. Our inner critic will tell us Don't be judgy Don't let him see you judging him now. No girl be judgy be very, very touchy. There was an experience that I had on date number 66. In my book if you want to read the story, it's hilarious. On day 66 I went hiking, dumb, went hiking on a first date.

When I got to the coffee shop in the center of town to meet him, he was tall. He was handsome. There was nothing wrong with that man from all outward appearance and my gut said nope. So I lied. In the moment I just loaded and know what to do. So I lied.

I said, Hey, so on my way over, I noticed the back of my Hill is coming up on the shoes, so we shouldn't probably hike mountain Tam today. Can we just walk around the neighborhood instead? Stay in this urban area. And he said sure. And within five minutes of being on that date, I knew exactly why be judgy Don't let your instincts be overridden by that voice in your head that says, Don't let him see you judge. Please judge your homework.

If you're willing, I double dog dare you. Go online. If you don't have a profile already, pick a site. Take some shots, go online and start dropping handkerchiefs out there. See in the next session