Hi there. Now that we've practiced seeing the roots of our stress is oftentimes our interpretation of how things are our predictions about how they might be as well. Let's look at understanding the roots of your stress. This process is quite straightforward, like before, asking yourself a few questions. So thinking back to the situation from your practice assignment, because it's should be quite neutral. You've already analyzed it a bit.
That's not very emotional. Ask yourself, why did I feel stressed from that situation? Why did I feel angry? Why did I feel threatened or isolated? Whatever you felt, fill in the blank. Why did I feel that in that situation?
Just ask that Just take a few deep breaths might be surprised what comes up to you. Oftentimes, answers just appear once we are calm enough to actually see them and actually listen to them. If we're not ready to listen, we can't hear them. The second question is what really matters to me. So using your analysis of this practice assignment situation as a guide, what actually matters to you at the heart of the matter? So an example from my from my working life.
At one of the schools I worked at, I had a manager and she and I really didn't get along. We butted heads a lot. And we had a lot of disagreements, and we didn't see eye to eye. This was a very negative relationship and we You weren't able to communicate very clearly, or effectively. To the point it was to the point where I would see her in the hallway or just anywhere, and I would feel tense, I would feel stressed. Sound familiar?
So working with that situation, practicing concentration meditation to calm down in the moment to avoid making things worse, which was career saving, let me tell you and then looking at it later. My interpretations were very interesting. They were quite imaginative, quite wild. So looking at, for example, having a conversation where she's telling me what she wants me to do. Oftentimes, I would feel threatened, and I would feel defensive and looking at it, well, why'd Why did I feel defensive? Why did I feel stressed?
Why did I feel angry? And it was because Really, I interpreted her. Her needs from me, oftentimes given orders, or orders as a lack of creative freedom for me. And sometimes some cases it was certainly, but not always, not 100% of the time. So I interpreted her telling me what she needed from me as a threat to my creative freedom. And looking at that deeper, that's that's why I felt angry.
Wasn't so much her or her words. It was more what I thought her words were saying. And then what really matters to be underneath creative freedom. I really appreciate being able to try new things in my classroom. I appreciate being able to develop my skills, expand on what I know And experiment for the best possible experiences for my students. That's what really matters to me.
And that's what I felt was threatened. Sometimes it was. Oftentimes it wasn't actually, which is very interesting. So there was a lot of stress, there was a lot of tension. There was a lot of emotional pain and hurt feelings, disagreements, negativity, hostility, all those things. And a lot of times it was unnecessary, because I wasn't, I wasn't really seeing the reality of what she wanted from me.
I was interpreting it differently, because I value creative freedom. So try this out yourself on the practice assignment situation, but also in life in general. This is more difficult to do with situations that are a big deal, or like an eight or nine or 10 out of 10 on a scale of one to 1010 being You know, really intense. Try them with easier things. I for example, feeling stressed that you'll miss the bus. Look at that.
Why do you feel stressed? That you missed the bus? Why do you feel frustrated? Worried? Why? You know what matters to you?
Is it being on time at work being seen as someone who's on time? Is it having enough time before starting works to get yourself settled and ready for the day? Is it to avoid expensive petrol costs or gas costs by using public transport? Take a look and see what really matters to you. Enjoy