Now let's talk about the fear of approaching people. So it's a fear that everyone has. And the fear comes from thousands and thousands of years ago, you could imagine that Alan was in a tribe. And in order to survive, he had not to be rejected. So he had to stay in the group. And if he would have been rejected, what would happen is that I would die because I wouldn't have food, I wouldn't have anyone to protect myself.

So I still associate and we still associate that as human beings, we still associate as rejection means death. So it's something that is ingrained in our brain. So if you go to a networking event, or if you go to a bar to a restaurant, we still at the back of our head, we still have, oh my god, if I if they reject me, it can mean death, because back in the times, rejection would mean death because you would be out of the tribe. So I would like to share with you here three ways that you can decrease this fear of approaching because you can Nuts, destroys, you cannot remove it, but you can decrease it. So before giving you these three advice here, I would like to share with you that the fear will decrease over time, the more you practice. And even people who are really successful, especially successful, they still have this fear, but the practice so much that this has destroyed and they also use amazing techniques and the techniques that I will be sharing with you here.

So it's about accepting that the fear is all will always be there. When you're in a place and you are experiencing this fear of approaching, it's important that you understand that this fear is there. You don't reject it because if you reject it, it will grow. But just accept that it is there. Okay. I accept that the fear is there.

Number one, I would like you to think in terms of benefits. If you're afraid, it's because you think that taking action will lead to pay for it. If you asked yourself the question, What can go wrong in this interaction? If you approach that person and say what can go wrong, oh, this person can reject me, this person to say that I'm a loser, this person can see that I didn't shave today, the person can see that the person can see that. And you focus on negative things. And the human brain, in order to act, he must perceive more benefits than negative things.

So if you focus on everything that could go wrong, you will attached many negative things that could go wrong, and you won't act because you will have this fear of approaching that will increase. Instead, ask yourself the question, what can I gain? If I approach that person? And you could make a list? Oh, I could have a new business partner, I could have a new friend, I could have that, that that and you show your brain that there are more benefits to approaching? And if there are more benefits than negative things that can happen with your brain say, oh, maybe I should take action right now.

So it's about focusing on the benefits stead of everything that could go wrong. The second technique I would like to share with you here is to approach as soon as possible. And it's something that helped me a lot in my social life. When you enter a new social place is like, if you are entering a new social tribe, and you don't know how you can behave, you don't know if you can throw cloud, you don't know if you can approach people, because it's a new tribe, and they don't know you. And back in the days, if you enter a new tribe, you don't know what could happen. Someone could kill you.

Again, it's the same thing. So I would like you to just exchange a few words with the first person that you see in that new environment. Even it's gonna be Hi, how is your night? Hi, are you having a great day? You just asked a simple question. The goal is to show your brain that you can take action and that you can approach people in that environment.

When I was at university, and I had to give presentations, so I was really scared about giving presentations. And what I would do always before giving my presentation is a few hours before I would just or a few minutes before I would just raise my hand and ask a question. And the question could be a basic question. But the fact that I showed my brain that I could ask a question in front of hundreds of people, and to be safe and be loud, I just showed my brain, hey, I could give a presentation, nothing will happen is the same thing here. When you go to a restaurant or bar networking event. Don't stay here with your phone, and you say, Oh, my God, I have to approach someone.

You just approach the first person that you see, to show prove to your brain that you can approach person and you can approach a person and if you do that, it will decrease your fear of approaching. And the third one is the one that I really like, is I want you to make fun of the fear. If you ask really serious about the fear and you say, Oh my God, this fear is so powerful, it will destroy me and I won't be able to have a great social life. You won't, you won't be able to have a great social life. It's all about the importance that you give to this fear. So what I do is that I imagine that my fear is named Carlos.

And Carlos, I imagine it's a small person that is just sitting here on my shoulders. And I imagine that I have to take care of Carlos. And he's really negative. And he's preventing me from taking action. And he's a little bit I would say, fucked up. He, he's not in a good shape.

And he's just there. And he's the part of me that prevents me from taking action and he will always be there. I have to take care of Carlos, I have to take care of him. It's, it's like someone that you know, will always be in your life and you must take care of of that person. And you don't like that person that this person would be there. So you accept that person.

And that's what I do. So I would be in a bar restaurant networking events, and I would have this discussion. So say hey, Carlos, you are here again say it's good. You're trying to do your best Carlos, you are trying to do your best to prevent me from acting that I'm sorry, but you won't you won't win today. I have to approach and then I will do you know, like I make fun of the fear. It's a technique that is really powerful and that works really, really well.