Now let's talk a little bit about fear. Because if you want to increase your confidence level to take action for what you want to increase the quality of your life, you will have fear that will be there. So how can you deal with that? And then I would like to discuss two main fears two or three main fears that people have and how you can overcome them. The first advice I would like to give you here is that you have to deal with fear. The fear will always be there.

When you start something new, you will have fear, when you will be approaching someone you may have fear, when you will be doing something that is really true to you, you will have fear. One way to deal with that is to have a strong motivation, a strong Why do you remember the lecture where I asked you? What would you be willing to do to save someone that you love? You would be really motivated because you knew your why you wanted to save that person. So the question here is Why do you want to accomplish this goal? Why do you want to take that action?

How will that improve your life and is one way to really be able to act despite the fear, I would like also you to accept that the fear will be there. The fear will be there. Everyday, the fear will be there. accepted, that's part of life. It means that it's an illusion to think that one day you will be able to just act freely and the fear will disappear. Fear will be there, fear is here to challenge you.

Fear is here to just show you that you must take action and to show you share good enough to accomplish what you want. Because most people who are paralyzed by fear, they won't be able to get their dream life. What I encourage you to do is just say, fear is here as a challenge. It's not something to stop me or prevent me. It's just here something to see if I'm good enough to accomplish what I wanted. It's something that is here to challenge me something that is here to see if I'm good enough and stronger.

Enough to accomplish that. So I'd like you to see fear, as you friend, don't see it as something that is against you see something that comes with you, and that helps you to accomplish what you want. Okay? The fear of rejection and fear of failure. So why do we have this fear of rejection, because we want to be loved. We want to be accepted in a group.

We don't want to be rejected. We don't want to take action and then see that people don't like us. And because we we may think that we are not good enough that we are not create enough. And rejection is not what you think. Because sometimes rejection is not personal. You may be thinking that whatever you do, if you get rejected, it's your own fault.

It's not maybe you will approach them on and the person had a bad day. Maybe something came up They don't want to talk to anyone right now. Even if Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Barack Obama would approach them, they would say, no, not not interested or not. Now, if something really bad came up, people really reject everyone. So what I would like to say here is that sometimes you're approaching your clients, you approach someone in a bar or a networking event, and they don't want to talk to you. Maybe it's not you the problem.

Maybe it's because they had a bad situation. So my advice to you would be to never take rejection personally. Sometimes, people will reject you, and it's your own fault. What I encourage you to do is that if you see that people always reject you, when you say something on the other when you do something. You ask yourself this question, what did I do at that moment, and then you try to improve it. rejection is here also to give you feedback.

That's why it's also really valuable and sometimes it's great sometimes rejection is great, because it can make you save time. If you approach a client or if you approach someone and you don't click Connect and the person rejects you, sometimes it's good because it can make you save time. And it's, I would say, it's like a selection of the people that you can hang out with. And then the more you approach people, the better you will know how to connect with people. And the better you know, what kind of people you would like to hang out with, the better you will know what kind of clients you're looking for, the better you will know what kind of man or woman you are looking for. So rejection is great if we give you feedback.

Basically, the problem with rejection is when we think that people reject us because we are not good enough. And we associate our self worth with rejection. And you shouldn't be doing that. Because remember, you don't control 100% of interaction, you only control your 50% and the other person controls there are 50%. So if they had a bad day, or they don't like you here or they don't like whatever You said anything. It's in their control.

Yes, you can improve, you can improve your behavior. But sometimes, it's just because they had a bad day, and they're having a bad situation. So don't take that, personally. Let's talk about the fear of failure. There are many people who say, Alan, I don't want to take action in life, because I'm afraid of the fear of failure. The fear of failure, again, is linked with, I just want to succeed, I don't want to have failures.

And if I fail, it means that I'm not good enough, and maybe people will laugh. I would like you forget about the fear of failure. Because in my language, I don't use the word failure anymore. I don't fail. I learn, I don't fail. I have learning experiences.

So I want to see your life. I want you to see your life as a learning experience. So the fear of failure does not exist. I would like you to see you live. As learning as results, if you take action, and you fail, the result that you that you had, you had the good result or bad result. But the more you fail, the easier it will be for you to reach success.

Because most people think that in order to accomplish what they want, they just have to find a good strategy. Go there, do it and reach success. But if you see everyone who has been successful, there failed more than you and I combined. They have really, really, really tried Try, try try try and to see what happens. There really took a lot of massive action. If you see I've run the link on all the failures that he had during his life, all the actions that he had to take to at the end of his life, to finally become president.

Success calm With failure, you know what I could get this picture when you can only see the tip of the iceberg. And then you don't see what he's below the below is the failure the learning experience, what they encourage you to do is to find the best techniques, find the best information. And then you act on that. You, you hire a mentor, you hire someone that will make you save yours. And then you take action. It's the same thing with discourse.

Here you have enrolled in this course, you have the word best techniques on how to become compassionate. So it will make you save time. But when you will be applying them, you will be making some mistakes, and you will have some failures or learning results. And then you can improve and next time, you can become a better version and next time you won't be making these mistakes and you will become better. And if there are people who laugh at you when you fail. Don't hang out with these people anymore.

If there are people who are always trying to put you down and don't support your goals, don't hang out with these people. Or try not to talk about that with these people. For example, I have people in my life who don't really support me with my business. So when I see them, I don't talk about my business, I talk about other things. And that can that makes that I can keep these friends. Okay, so here I would like to say the fear of failure is not as bad as you think.

You must just understand that it's not linked to your self worth. It's just something that is there to show you that you must take action to get learning results, so that you can learn from that, that you can take massive action that you can really get the life that you want. The last year I would like to discuss here is what people would think of you. Maybe you are free to take some actions, because you may say I'm afraid that people will laugh at me will reject me say that I'm a loser or whatever. When you interact with someone, it's an illusion that you think that you can control what the person thinks of you. If I'm interacting with someone here, if I'm trying, if I'm worried about what people will think of me, it means that I'm trying to micromanage the impression that other people will have of me that the person will have with me.

And I cannot control 100% of the interaction, how much do I control, I control 50%. And the other person controls their 50%. So what they can do is that they can just express myself. And if the person likes me, that's great. And if the person don't like me, that's the same price. If tonight I go to a bar, and they approach a woman, and I compliment, I compliment her.

One woman can say, Oh, that's so sweet. And one woman can say, Oh, go away. I don't control the other person's behavior. I control my behavior. And now the key here is that you can only control your behavior. You should really be true to yourself and really know who you are so that you can express yourself with people, you can express your 50%.

And then some people will like you and some people, some people won't. There is an Australian nurse who is called bro anywhere. And she was taking care of people just before they died. And she asked a simple question. The question was, what is your biggest regret in life? And you know what, almost all of them answered.

They said, I regret that I didn't have the courage to live a life according to who I was. But instead, I live the life according to all the people's expectations. When I've heard that, I say, wow, that's sad for them. I said, Wow, I really don't want to be in this situation. I don't want to have regrets at the end of my life. How, how, what are the actions that they can take right now, so that they can avoid having regrets I understood that I had to define what I wanted in life.

I had to define who I was I had to find who I was, and then express myself freely with other people. I'm not saying, Just be yourself and express yourself and don't take care of other people. I'm not saying that. I'm thinking you must know who you are. And then you express yourself with the best communication skills that you have. you express yourself with charisma, use empathy, you have good intentions, you may be slightly adapt who you are, but slightly, just to make a great impression, but slike like really, really slightly.

But your core is really who you are. And and you don't sense that your dreams, what you want to do, this is something that you must have is something that you must find. How do you do that? You must really reflect on your life, you must reflect on who you are, you must reflect on your dreams, your aspirations, you must reflect on your values, you must reflect on your beliefs on what you like what you don't like, what kind of people you would like to attract, what kind of job would like to have. And that takes time. It's not something that you will be able to do overnight.

But it's something that you can start right now. And ask yourself this question, What do you want? The most important question that you should have is what do you want. Because if you are always worried about what people think of you, it means that you're always trying to please people, and you're not pleasing yourself. So I would like you to please yourself first, so that you can help people later. And you can't please, everyone.

You can't please your parents, your family, your friends, your co workers, your boss, but you can please yourself. So discourse here is really about thinking about who you are about your true self. And that will really help you and then you won't ever again, have the thought what will people think of because you know already who you are, and this is who you are, and you let the chips fall where they may. If people like you, that's great. If people don't like That's also great. And most people will try to be liked by everyone.

But if you try to be liked by everyone and you are liked by everyone, it seems that you're always adapting who you are. Because in life, you will, you will have people who love you and people who will hate you. That's not possible to have people who will always like you because you will be adapting who you are and you won't have any personality. And that's not the life that I would like you to have. I would like you to be happy and fulfilled. That's why this fear here is really important if you want to build your self confidence.