Alright, let's talk about what it is that you want. Why are you here? I think this is we're getting into the part of this course where it's going to get a little bit more difficult to go through this on your own. So I highly encourage you for the rest of this section in the next section to communicate with me in whatever capacity you feel best suits and helps you, whether that's email or commenting here, or just continuing to go, you know, without me but as we really start to interrogate ourselves and to investigate what it is that we want. Sometimes it's helpful to have either a sounding board or somebody with an objective outside view. And so before we get into some of the exercises in our workbook here for this section, I've got a couple of things to share with you.

And the first one is a story about this little boy named Roy. And Roy lived in a house that was filled with pain. His parents were abusive, verbally and physically towards each other. And there was substance abuse. It was a home filled with a lot of negativity and anger. And it wasn't a place to really enjoy being.

And so we have Roy walking down the street, walking home after school one day, and as he's walking slowly, with his head down, he picks his head up and he looks across the street. And he sees one of his classmates also walking home, same direction, but on the other side of the street. And as their eyes meet, the other boy starts to walk a little bit faster. And so right quickens his pace, and they meet guys again, another boy starts to go a little bit faster. Now he's walking about as fast as he can walk without running, since a boy matches his pace, and he says, You know what, I'm going to start jogging. So we're always kind of shuffling and jogging.

And then the other boy starts to run a little bit faster. And Roy starts sprinting. And before you know it, they're both sprinting and racing. And all of a sudden Roy's home. And the point of this story is that, you know, Roy didn't want to be home. It wasn't a place that he wanted to be.

And his walk home was one of his respites in his daily pattern. It was time where he didn't have to be at home. And in that negative environment, it was time that he didn't have to be at school, doing the things that you know, no kid likes to do at school. So, you know, he willingly traded his happy place and his time to arrive at a place And he really didn't want to be because he got caught up competing with somebody else. And I think there's so much to unpack in this story. And, you know, how many times do we get caught up racing towards something that we don't necessarily want.

We get caught up competing with other people. Because we just want to be seen as being ahead of them, or we want to feel like we're ahead of them. Whether where we're going is where we want to be or not. And so this is an example of one of our toxic goals that we're going to talk about. And so there are three toxic goals, the three C's of toxic goals. They are copying, competing, and comparing.

I would argue that 90% of the goals that I see people set fall into these three categories. They're either copying somebody They're competing with somebody else, or they are comparing themselves to someone else. And so in the next video, we're really going to dive into your goals and what it is that you want. And we'll start to lay out the action plan to get there in section five. But for the rest of this section of this video in particular, we're going to be making sure that what it is that you're going after is what you truly want. Don't fall into the trap that Roy fell into don't race off towards something that you don't want, because you feel like you're competing with somebody else.

Right? Do what makes you happy sing your song. So we talked about really story, we're talking about the toxic goals. One of the other cautions around goal setting and our pursuits is what we call the I saw trap I saw so and so do this. I saw this ad that had a ton of likes, I saw this thing gets shared. I saw blah, blah, blah, blah.

How many of your goals how many of the things that you've pursued, to this point in your life have come from something that you've seen, that you thought looked great. And you wanted to have that or do that repeat that. This is the eye salt trap. We're all guilty of it, to some extent, some of us more or less than others. That's irrelevant. It's not about copying and competing or comparing.

But it's about understanding our motives and the things that we think we want. So I challenge you to really investigate what it is that you think you want, and do you want it because it's what makes your heart sing, or do you want it because you saw someone else or something else have it or do that thing. One final note is that there is not better than Hear this is going to come up a few more times as we finish out our course here in our work together but when we are at dinner with friends and we're scrolling social media, you know we're saying to ourselves and to the people with us that their whatever is going on in the phone is better than here. If we're in a meeting and we answer a phone, there is better than here. If we're, you know, out fishing with friends, and we're, you know, checking email there is better than here.

So keep that in mind as well. Our goals are pursuits, you know, are we working towards something that betters ourselves that helps us grow and develop and be more of who we are? Or are we trying to get there thinking that there is better than here, okay. And so, as we look at what we want, it's really important to remember the equation that we talked about earlier. I don't remember what section that was. But it was our equation from Timothy gobo.

And we're going to talk more about Gaul well in a few minutes in the upcoming video. But the equation was performance equals potential minus interference, right? And our ability to express our potential is limited by what the potential is and what our distractions and our interferences are. And so, what we're going to do is we're going to go into your workbook. And we're gonna have two exercises here at the end of this video. So two things that you need to fill out before moving to the next video.

All right, the first one is going to be this page that says, what are your goals? Right? We started this video by me asking you, what do you want, right? So whatever comes into your head, I want you to run it through those filters running through the toxic goals filter, run it through the ISO Try running through the ROI running home track and write down. What do you want? What is it that you really want?

What are you here for? What brought you to this course? What did you sign up for? What would make this a success? What are you working towards the six month the 12 month thing, right? What is it that you want?

And over here, perhaps more importantly, I want you to write down why you want this thing. Okay. So that's exercise one. The second exercise that you're going to do is the next page in your workbook. I have an older copy. So it's actually backwards for me, but you're going to go the other way.

I want you to identify your main sources of interference. Performance is potential minus interference. Okay. Where do your distractions come from? Is it social media? Is it YouTube videos?

Is it Netflix? Is it your friends, is it I don't know what it is? Right? But you do. Where do you get distracted? What is your story?

Source of interference is its self limiting beliefs. Is it doubt is it procrastination is it anxiety, all of your distractions and interference, write them down up here. Just don't filter it, don't overthink it, just write them down. Doesn't matter if you do it once in a month or if it hits you every single day, if it is a source of distraction or interference, write it down. And then on this bottom section here, I want you to start thinking about how you can limit or mitigate or reduce these distractions and interferences. Okay.

And that as you know from the equation, less interference means more expression of our potential means better performance. Okay, so write those down. And I will see you in video three and we're going to start talking about your goals.