And welcome to the coach's brain MRI. Today we're going to have a look at upper limits, releasing them and incorporating them, and how we can move those into work with our clients. So this work was inspired by gay Hendricks, who wrote the book, the big leap, which is definitely worth a read. And there's a little bit of CBT therapy in here as well. I also had a mentor, a former mentor, who really introduced me to these and I've been able to put a little bit of my own spin on Twitter as well. So let's step into keemun is or as you may know them if you have read the book, upper limits, dah, dah.

Let's have a look at the first one. The schema is fundamentally flawed. Now how do you know if you had this schema going on in your life? You'll have this belief underpinning everything that you do that there's something inherently wrong with me that I can't achieve this goal that I can't do this thing. Other people will do it better than me. It may be a schema that's actually stopping you from getting started in your business going after clients and helping more people.

So if you find yourself saying there is something wrong with me, that's that's a trigger phrase. Or if you have a client saying that, then you know, you need to explore the belief here. of no pain. Good enough. Now, this belief could be formed from something as simple as a teacher or a parent saying something in primary school, when you were young, that made you go, Oh, hang on. There's something wrong with me, I can't do that I'm not good enough.

So when you're working with yourself and working with your clients, go back and see if you can figure out where they started. And do some process work to clear it. So if you've done NLP timeline therapy can actually be really helpful with this. If you're not sure where it's come from, you can do belief change work around it. But it's a schema that most people carry out of all of the schemas. I would say pretty much everyone goes through a stage where we think there's something wrong with me, I can't do this.

I'm not good enough. So when you hear that in language with your clients, or if you hear it in yourself, When you're about to embark on a next step in your business or in your personal life, go hang on, stop scammer. allit fundamentally flawed is reared its ugly head, clear it and then move forward. So that's schema number one. Whoo. The next one is row Alliance and this one has a very powerful trigger phase, and definitely something worth exploring.

I cannot be successful on my own, other people know better. And you'll be able to recognize this within yourself or with your clients. If you find you're constantly deferring the final decision to someone else. Now, when we're solopreneurs when we're working on our own, and we're not confident in making these decisions, if we don't feel that we can be successful on our own and maintenance decisions for ourselves, that's going to massively impede our businesses. And I noticed from personal experience, I had to work to a massive Alliance schema, because I had a very strong personality in my former business with me. But if you ever find yourself or you have a client going, Oh, I can't make that decision.

I don't know enough. I'm not good enough. I don't trust myself enough to make the decision. start finding out who they expect to make the decision for them. Why would they expect that person to make the decision and then start identifying how could look if they chose to make their own decisions. Because it's not just I'm not good enough to make the decision is underlying confidence, doubt and belief issues in there as well.

It might be that somebody's been around somebody like enough that when they have made decisions, if they haven't quite worked, they've been penalized. So get them to look back at other decisions that they've made, have a look at the outcomes and start working through their feelings and emotions that are based around those. So that's the reliance schema. It used to be a friend of mine, but I've kicked that one to the curb. The next one's a big one, disloyalty and abandonment. And a lot of people when they break the traditional path, and they're not doing the traditional roles that they family may have done and they've grown up seeing around them.

This is when this schema can kick in. The trigger phrase, I must conform to the standard of my family and peer group, wanting or doing more Is it the trail of them going out and starting your own business? If that's not what's done in the family, there can be a lot of push pull that comes with that. Trust me, I know. Or when your business takes off, and you start making money and you start getting well known online, or you start demonstrating your success, if that's not what your family is used to, that can pull you back or hold you back from taking action in the first place, because it's a huge part of being human and our conditioning back from the old days of wanting to stay a part of our family and being connected to community. So if you find personally as a coach going out and doing your own business, your family doesn't get you.

Give them lots of love. Find a network that can support you. So we have the brain injury for example. We're a huge network here where we can support you if your family or your friends don't Get you? What can happen? When you break away from this schema of disloyalty and abandonment, you make the choice to follow your dreams in your path.

You may lose friends. I know from experience, I've had to walk away from a couple of circles of friends, because they don't understand the dream. And when people don't understand your dream, or why you're doing what you do, they pull you back. And it's quite often from a place of love and care and people want what's best for you. But just be aware, if you're finding you're not making decisions about your business, or you feel that you're playing small, and you're worried about your family, this game could be getting triggered. Come and have a chat with us in the group get on a group call, come and talk to me.

Because this game is very, very powerful for for a lot of People, especially if you haven't very connected family ties. So that's the disloyalty and abandonment schema. The next one is and you can probably already tell Burton was a big schemer of mine. And you know that you have this schema if you use this face. I don't want to be a burden on other people. I can't ask or I kind of get that person to move out of my way.

I can ask the neighbors to turn the music down because the burden you know, there are levels of being polite and considerate of other people. But burden becomes an issue when you don't ask for help when you need it to move forward. If you're having an issue with any of the content in the coach's brain, me but you don't come to me for clarity Because you think Trudy's busy, I don't want to ask her for help. That's a burden schema. Because if that not asking for help is stopping you from moving forward, that's a scheme that that you need to work through. And it's a big one.

It's like identify that, did you see that growing up where maybe there was a member of your family that just did everything themselves? potentially a parent can never ask anyone for help because there's got to do everything myself. steps in a little bit into martyrdom, but we'll talk about that a little bit later. But please be aware of she's going through the modules in the coach's brain hurry. This might show up because there can be concepts that you're not aware of. But if you're stuck, come and ask for help.

And if you've got burden, be aware and ask what's really going on look at it deeper. Because you'll have clients that will come along and they will be the same. I was a bit stressed out between our calls and I know I get it. Like if I can email you, but I didn't want to bother you. They might think that's polite, but that's actually bad and that gets in your way of living. So let's be aware, bitten, kicked to the curb and ask for help when we need it.

Okay, do I have an agreement with everyone? Awesome. Okay, now the next one, tension. Any rock Rocky Horror Picture? Show fans out there The movie will understand where that came from. Anyway, I digress.

All right, the trigger phrase for tension. I cannot tolerate discomfort therefore other people around me should adapt. Okay, so tension at a base level is like oh, I'm stressed everyone just get out of my way. Do what I need you to do Be quiet. If I was Be quiet. Ah, tension comes from a place of bodily stress, feeling pressured, and not being grounded to be able to think calmly.

So that's tension at the base level. Ah, what can happen when tension kicks in, it can actually trigger the other schemas. Imagine this scenario, you're tense, you're stressed, you've got a deadline. You've got to get this thing done. And you're like, oh, and you're uncomfortable. And then it's like, oh, freeze.

I can't ask anyone to help me, though. burden. Oh my gosh, I don't want to be a burden on other people by getting help, but I'm so stressed and I'm so angry. Everyone can pick up my energy. Be aware of tension. Be aware of your body's response.

This is why meditation is so good because When you focus on the breath automatically puts you into that. grounded common present states, it's very hard to be tense. You can think a lot clearer. But imagine if you're experienced the tension scrape schema, and you blow up at your family because they've like they haven't understood you. You've felt like you've been on the outside and you're so stressed and tense. You've been thinking going on in your business and you're one of your parents says, Why don't you just get a job?

Blow up. Because you've been operating from this loyalty and abandonment. It's a very interesting how tension can get triggered in so many ways and trigger the other schemers so this is why I put tension last because one of the biggest things when you're branching out into coaching and you're working, working with people who are coming to you, with all this to offer as well. You need to be able to release this schema, you need to be able to sit calmly, in discomfort and be comfortable and not reactive. So that's the tension schema, I suggest everyone starts meditating. Okay?

So there are schemas. If you identify yourself in any of those, now that you have an understanding, be aware, start doing some work around those exploring where they've come from, what are their roots, how can you play them? And that kind of stuff and have those breakthroughs for yourself to then you can support your clients to have those breakthroughs. Because awareness of your program is the first step to changing your responses. And for me, I can look at those tension was a huge one fundamentally flawed, I think. We all have some of that reliance is a huge part of my own business.

I'm not as Reliant now, because I'm aware of it, and the burden thing that's chilled out a lot over the last 12 to 18 months. But a big month for that was now I feel I'm in a space and have people around me that it's safe to ask them bigger, right? So yeah, be aware of your responses and what they actually mean. So we want to be able to incorporate and release these schemas. So like I said earlier, if you know you know pain, do the timeline, do the belief change, you might find there's a parts integration that you need to do. Do the writing exercises.

The forgiveness process is a great one the whole upon upon Oh, like tapping, whatever it is. You want to like okay, great time to let it go. So responsibility and control two things that I want to talk about now that we're going into a surrender and embrace framework. So we want to incorporate new and release the old. So this is a follow on from the schemas. Quite often what happens is people need to be in a space of full control.

But what happens is you can't control everyone around you. People are going to do what they need to do. So what I want you to incorporate moving forward is like, I can't be in control of everything and everyone. So I am going to embrace in my life and incorporate in my life, personal responsibility. So what I do, I'm, I'm, I can manage that, but I can't control others. So let's start taking responsibility for our actions.

Voices and actions when people are responding to us and around us, tight responsibility for ourselves. But let's stop taking responsibility for other people's emotions. And be aware that we can't control that everyone is responsible for themselves. Then let's have a look at choice versus martyrdom. martyrdom is a big one. How many of us have spent hours and hours and hours working on our business?

Missing out on everything else? Like, Oh, I'm so busy, I have to work. I'm going to do these things. It's like no, let's stop sacrificing ourselves, our health and well being our relationships, and start taking the next step to choice and making that choice that we want and start incorporating the power of choice versus the we have to we have to have no choice. We have to do these things. I've got to sacrifice Start embracing choice into our, into our lives.

So we release control, embrace responsibility, surrender the martyrdom and putting ourselves on the cross and don't look at me, everyone, I'm sacrificing everything to my business clients or whatever. And you know, start making the right choice for us without the sacrifice. And then let's have a look of faith and opportunity. Let's have faith in what we're doing. And that when somebody comes to us, so I have an opportunity for you. What it could really mean is your better opportunity.

Have faith in your ability. Don't sell yourself short. So this is a great one like people come to you and go, Ah, you know, if you do this to me, I'll do this. Here's a great opportunity for you. Duh, duh, duh, duh. Like, hang on.

You're coming to me, I'm probably your opportunity. Be very aware of people that want to piggyback or want to underpay you or keep you down low. Have faith in your ability to grow and keep moving forward. So we're going to surrender control embrace responsibility. Let go the monta din be conscious of the choices that we make when people come to us with opportunity just to have faith in your abilities and Don't sell yourself short. Now, the next one, what stories do you tell yourself about who you are and what you do?

Are they actually serving you? Because what I want you to do now is just stop and start incorporating your own presence and your own ability to step up and shine. It's time to let go with the stories. Now the stories we say they all serve a purpose. What do you think? Really getting when you say this story that's potentially negative about yourself?

What do you gain from that? Flip it over? When I say I'm bad, what does that really mean? What do I get? What am I allowed, because quite often when we tell these negative stories is actually a benefit. So stay in presence.

Be aware of what you're saying, and really stand up and go. Yep, I've got the presence of mind now to understand why I've said things that I've said in the past, and be ready to move forward and let those stories go. So, least control embrace responsibility. Stop being a martyr, be very conscious of your choice. Remember, when somebody comes to you with an opportunity, have faith in your own ability, be aware of the stories that you're saying and step into the now and be aware of your presence. And then the final one is excellence versus genius.

Because we Always, you know, find it really easy to do things that we're good at. We operate in this space of excellence. But it's a big step up to step into your zone of genius, and to operate in that place where you bring maximum value. So when you're doing your day to day, have a look at what you're doing and go, Could somebody else be doing this to me so I can step up and really fully work on the thing that gets me to display my genius. So there's some points for you to consider. What can you let go of and what can you incorporate and bring into your life?

Identify where all of these things is showing up in your life and results. Are you sacrificing yourself? Are you telling yourself stories to keep you playing school? Are you ready to stick up and start being responsible for your Self 100%? And how can you step into your zone of genius? What needs to happen next?

So when we're incorporating this and building and implementing this into our practices, this is the next step. You can do formal practice. Like I said, I suggest you read the big leap. take lots of notes, build your own model, what are these things may mean to you? What do they mean to your clients? So if your niche to work with a particular client, how do these schemas generally show up for them?

Create a formula. So something that you can hand out to clients print something out, give them something that they can work with, create processes, like maybe three or four processes that over a series of sessions, you work at chipping away at those upper limit, something like that, keep it in mind. So The biggest thing is being able to support your clients to move through the skin as as a coach. Now, you might be tough love coach, you might be a little bit more softer and gentler. You might be more spiritual, you might do a lot of energy work to help shift those, whatever it is, if you can work with people to clear these, their results will skyrocket. If you work through these schemas, your results will skyrocket.

Now I'm not saying you have to get rid of them completely. But being aware of these things will actually help you to push through a lot faster and get quick results. So I look at these schemas and over the last 12 months, I can say when I've been able to let things go or not let them impact me as much where the results have increased. So they're really powerful when you take action on them. Now for an informal practice, listen for the language. Like, Oh, I can't do this by myself.

I don't even know where to stop. There we go. alliance that seems to start having the chat. Did you realize that you hear what you said, You can't do this without on your own like, well, what would be the first step? Like let's work through it? Are you aware that you said you can't?

What could happen if you could come on, let's have a play. So really conversational stuff. You don't even have to tell them they have schemas if that doesn't suit the work that you do. But you can hear the language, not halfway there to change, helping them change their own lives. So after you watch this, if you've got ideas, like Feel free to share them in the group, I'd love to hear your take on it, how they've shown up for you what you've done to change because I know for me Being able to get rid of burden and ask for help when I needed it made a huge difference in my results, believing that I can be successful on my own. I know when I have a coach, I move faster, but I can be successful on my own.

All of a sudden, I'm allowed to make my own decisions and trust my instinct and just go for it. So and the tension thing, of course, meditate, relax, less stress, more healthy, less cortisol rushing through my body. These are amazing. To share your ideas in the group, share your outcome share results, let us celebrate you. Now remember, as we go as you're going through the binary stuff comes up for you. If there's other things that you want to learn, let me know about it.

I love researching. I love finding stuff out. Because chances are if you want to know other people want to know as well. So I'm going to say thank you and until next time Keep those pesky schemers a shakedown.