Module Three do's and don'ts. Now that we've established that anger is a natural, unavoidable and instinctual reaction, let's look at how we can respond to anger appropriately. In this module we will discuss the do's and don'ts in responding to anger. unhelpful ways of dealing with anger. The following are unhelpful ways of dealing with anger. Number one don't ignore the anger.
Some people respond to anger by not admitting even to themselves that they are angry. defense mechanisms often used to ignore anger include laughing an issue off distracting oneself from the problem in trivializing the triggers impact. Number two don't keep the anger inside. There are people that do recognize that they're angry. However, they choose to obsess about their anger in silence rather than express it. They can bear grudges for a long time.
People like this also called stuffers are more likely to develop hypertension compared to others. They are also likely to just explode with One day once the anger has built to the point that they can keep it inside anymore. Number three, don't get aggressive. The right to vent your anger doesn't extend to doing it in ways that can hurt others hurt yourself and damage property. aggression can be verbal or physical. Number four don't get passive aggressive.
Passive aggressiveness refers to indirect and underhanded means to get back at the person who made you angry. Examples of passive aggressive behaviors are gossiping tardiness, and backbiting. Number five, don't use non constructive communication styles. Avoid the use of indirect attacks and unproductive statements. These include blaming labeling, preaching, moralizing, ordering, warning, interrogating, ridiculing and lecturing. Helpful ways of dealing with anger.
The following are helpful ways in dealing with anger. Number one, do acknowledge that you were angry. It is important that you know how to recognize that you are angry and give yourself Permission to feel it. This can be as simple as saying to yourself, I am angry. Remember, you can control something you don't admit exists. Number two, do Calm yourself before you say anything.
In the previous discussions, we saw how there is a biological reason why anger can feel overwhelming. Our body is engaged in a fight or flight response. It helps them to defer any reactions until you have reached the return to normal or adaptive face of the anger cycle. Otherwise, you might end up saying or doing something that you'd later regret. Count one to 10 number three do speak up when something is important to you. This is the opposite of keeping it all in.
If a matter is important to you so much so that keeping silent would just result in physical and mental symptoms then let it out. If it is not possible to speak to the person concerned at least look for a trusted friend or a mental health professional. Number four do explain how you're feeling in a manner that shows ownership and responsibility for your anger. Take ownership and responsibility for your feelings. This makes the anger within your control. You can't control other people.
One way to take ownership and responsibility for your anger is through the use of imessages which would be discussed in a later module.