This is the story of a coaching client, I'll call Ralph, who was CEO of a 350 person engineering firm. Ralph seemed always to be rushed. He had not time for exercise relaxation family, and he was often late for appointments and meetings, which was the biggest complaint on peer evaluations. Because he saw his situation as a time management issue. We did the usual things. We instituted organizational protocols, time management strategies, and set up actions for his behavioral change.
However, being the conscientious person that he was, he had tried to change behaviors many times in the past and had failed it In other words, his resolve and new behaviors were not enough to sustain lasting change. So instead, we began looking for patterns. And through a series of powerful questions and deep inquiry, he was able to track what he called his people pleasing behavior. His being length was a result of over scheduling, and not wanting to cut anyone short by moving on to the next meeting. The result was that instead of people pleasing, he was actually alienating them. Then, a shift occurred, a transformational moment.
Raph realized that he had a limiting belief or internal obstacle that was sabotaging his good intentions as soon as it was identified his perception and energy Shift and he immediately realized that he could not please everyone. The belief that he had to make everyone happy was absurd and unrealistic. In addition, he adopted a new belief that the person he needed to please and nurture first was himself. With his newfound inner freedom, he joyfully began to design a schedule that made his own well being top priority. That included exercise, time to meditate, limiting his appointments, and having downtime between appointments. He said time limits and communicated those limits at the beginning of meetings, to manage expectations and to maintain his boundaries with this simple recognition Which for him was a huge shift in his mindset.
Ralph began making new decisions and taking new actions. He set limits to his commitments learn to say no, and invited more balance in his life by taking care of his own needs. First, the result, greatly improved peer review ratings, his life, his relationship to his family and his relationships within the organization benefited. As shown in the pyramid of awareness that we looked at earlier, Ralph's study was a matter of simply recognizing and loosening the belief. In addition, it was helpful for him to put his old and new beliefs into words so that he could consciously embed and To create a new way of thinking