Alright guys, so today we're gonna be talking about how to receive effective feedback. I think we can all remember a time period when we heard something that maybe didn't feel so well or it was really hard to hear. And that happened, sometimes we can get triggered, sometimes our own reactions caused the feedback to actually not even land correctly. So this module is all about teaching you how to handle that process, as well as how to take the truth embedded within the feedback and still learn from it mindfully. So let's look at it. If you remember correctly, the first module was all about the secret ingredient of feedback, which was process.

This is the same thing, which is that if you're going to be receiving feedback, you need to learn how to process it, you're going to most likely maybe have some defensiveness, but it'll have to be countered with some self reflection on your part, either in the moment or afterwards, and you'll have to learn how to incorporate it. So let's go through that a little bit. With defensiveness Well, if you remember, the reactions that people have are usually to protect themselves to their accommodate, or maybe to even argue. When that happens, I think we all know what a situation where maybe the person shuts down, the conversation seems to go nowhere. Or maybe they become flippant or angry. If that's the case, remember, that's just one aspect of it, and you have to learn how to move through it.

In order to do that, you have to understand the triggering event cycle, which is this. Sometimes there'll be a stimulus. Think back when a coworker has told you something, maybe you didn't show up the way you they wanted you to. Maybe you dropped the ball somehow, maybe for some reason or another the project fell through, that was a stimulus. And the person talking to you is trying to tell you that the stimulus, however, causes a reaction within you. And that reaction is funneled through a story either from the past or something that has happened between You too before, either way that story builds and funnels that information into something, which is known as a cognitive, emotional or physiological reaction.

Let's break those down a little bit. The cognitive level, some people can get really heady, they start thinking a lot of thoughts and actually end up not even hearing anymore because they're so wrapped up in their head and emotionally, well, you could cry, he could get angry, you can get sad, maybe even frustrated. physiologically speaking, most people feel it in their gut or feel a wrenching heart, like type of sensation where they come in. All three of these reactions are something that you need to recognize while understanding that when you have some sort of feedback and it causes a reaction. Being able to understand if it's cognitive, emotional, physiological, or all three, can be really helpful for rewiring that later on. Fifth, the response that you You end up having is influenced by the story and the reactions that you have.

So how many times has your response been something along the lines of No, that's not true or stop talking right now. I've had situations where I've had to give feedback to some clients, and they've shut down. The most interesting reaction is one where they started laughing. It's almost as if the laughter hides what is really underneath what might be the pain or may not want to actually hear the feedback. Then the person reacts, which is what we just discussed. And then this trigger, then send something to the sender, and then that person ends up either responding or reacting, which then leads to a new stimulus.

And if that stimulus causes a reaction, this chain starts all over again. But for now, recognize this because you need to learn how to self reflect. As I'm talking to you through all of this, take a moment right now. Think about a time where you receive some feedback. Back in what was a reaction of yours? Did you want to argue?

Did you want to shut down? Did you feel it in your body somewhere? Because cluing into these things will help you understand in the long run, that maybe this is a pattern that you have developed and understanding the pattern and reflecting on it then allows you to transform it. Let's talk about how this is a taxonomy of reflection. It was a model developed by Peter Pappas and it starts in the bottom with remembering what did I do? If you can be honest with yourself that can be very helpful?

Because then under then you can then start to understand what was important about it? What happened there without judging it? Then you get into the applying section, which is where can I use this again? How can I actually learn to be better and maybe not fall? drop the ball or stay on top of my game, specifically in startups? Then you want to analyze it.

Is there any patterns here? See what you did? And what happened? And then you want to evaluate. Remember the coaching versus evaluation? Here's where you can start to understand how can you be your own proprietary agent of change.

And lastly, you want to create, what should you do next? What will help you move on. Because at the end of the day, you want to incorporate all of this, you want to understand that the feedback was given to you for a particular reason. And if you can really take it in and not sit with it, you can become a better person, better worker, as well as understand how to give feedback to someone else. Because this is my favorite mistakes, we all make them. And it's one thing that I think is really important is learning how to fail and do so gracefully.

I once actually had a mistakes log, where I would document all my mistakes in the beginning to make sure that I didn't do them and if I did, I could see the patterns. Why because mistakes Takes means that I start to acquire knowledge, experience and skills. tall it is. Mistakes give you the ability to get new knowledge, gain experience along the way, and get skills along as well. So staying humble confidence and knowing that mistakes are part of life is the magic sauce that can really help you grow. I'll leave you with this quote by Elon Musk, which is, I think it's important to have a feedback loop where you're constantly thinking about what you've done, and how you could be doing better.

If Elon Musk, this guy tells you that you can see the power behind it, which is that a feedback loop is just one iteration to help you understand yourself better, and become a better person in the long run by learning what you're doing, what you may be doing wrong and how to improve. So remember that that's all it is.