Welcome to four keys to giving compliments that motivate. Although we generally consider that complimenting someone is motivating, some ways of complimenting actually are negative, for example, manipulates praise that seeks to influence the other person to do what we want. Perhaps there is a time consuming job that needs to be done. And we do not want to do it. So we say, so, you did such a wonderful job last time, you're the best one for this. Another damaging way of complimenting consists of generalized praise that can increase the eagle and create an attitude of self satisfaction.
For example, saying you're the greatest or even you paint so well. Finally, attributing success to innate intelligence or talent can be damaging. We should avoid comments such as you're so smart. That's why you did so well. In contrast, the four keys to giving effective compliment are, always be sincere. express what you say as your own reaction, not as an evaluation of the other person meant in a concrete action that the person did well and emphasize the effort made and learning a tea rather than talent, capacity, or intelligence.
Let's look first at always be sincere. If you compliment others on their efforts when everyone knows that they were hardly trying, they won't believe you and may consider you a hypocrite. First, you need to identify a quality or action that you sincerely consider worthy of praise? Second, express the compliment as your personal feeling or reaction. Say, your explanation impressed me. Not you are a good speaker.
In the first case, you're expressing your reaction. And the second, you are making a generalization about the other person that can inflate her Eagle rather than encourage her development. Furthermore, the person may feel that you are evaluating her. Even though your evaluation was positive. The fear exists that in the future, it could be a negative evaluation. The third key is to mention the concrete action that the person did well.
If you only say, your explanation impressed me, the person won't know why. So she will not know how to repeat the positive action. However, if you say your explanation impressed me, it was clear and logically ordered. The person will know what she did well, and in the future can try to repeat what you did, or do it even better. I had a personal experience of this once when I was in high school, during a class in the chemistry lab. The teacher went out for a while and I accidentally knocked some of the test tubes and beakers off the stand.
When he came back, he asked who did this and rather timidly I spoke up. I'm sorry, I did it. I was fooling around and not being careful. Rather than scolding me, the teacher told me I appreciate that you are responsible and told the truth about breaking the beaker. I don't know how responsible I really was. But the fact that the teacher made that comment inspired me so that from there on, I made a special effort to be truthful and responsible.
In the next video, we will explore the fourth key, which consists of praising the effort and perseverance rather than natural capacity, or intelligence. I hope you like what you've learned so far. Embedded this useful in your life.