Hello, I'm Tony factory. And thank you for joining me today on this video blog. Today's topic is don't take things personally. And it's probably a welcomed video in terms of a number of people have written to me in the past and I am constantly aware of my interactions with others on a daily basis. And it seems that most people seem to take things quite personally when they're confronted by another person or when they're interacting with even a loved one a friend or a colleague. And there's some sense of hostility at what is said or what is done towards them.

So here's some points to navigate your way through such an interaction If he would really understand people's motives, you would know not to take anything personally. And what I mean by that is understanding why people attack why people say the things they do, or respond with their actions. It isn't about you, which leads me into this next point. Most people words or actions are never directly aimed towards you. A person doesn't get up in the morning and has this desire, this intention to maliciously hurt another person with their words or actions. You notice that a conflict always arises in the present moment.

So the individuals bringing a lot of their programming a lot of their disconnected beliefs, emotions, thoughts, baggage into the present moment and and throwing it out at the other person. So enough effect. The pain is a result of their own misgivings, their own pain that they've held on to for a long time. Now here's the next important point to consider. They project the pain onto others, since to own and to feel the pain requires so much effort. And think about it for yourself.

If you've had pain and whether it be pain of a childhood incident or, or an adult experience, to own your own pain is difficult to feel your own pain is even worse, because it means being with the pain and so we're constantly running away from the pain. So what does one do? They throw their pain, they remove their pain, they move the pain away from them, by transferring it onto others. And when we do that, when we transfer pain, guess what happens? We feel good about ourselves. So when someone says something to you of a negative nature, or responds to you through their actions in a negative way, they're removing their pain.

And and not consciously but subconsciously or unconsciously transferring the pain onto you, you happen to be the recipients of that time. Now listen, it can be anyone. It doesn't have to be you remember, in that very moment, you happen to be there. Or it might be through a phone call or through a text or whatever communication, is that happened at that instance, it could have been any number of people. So when you think of it in that context, why would you take things personally, you don't have to get into the mind of the other person to realize that they're transferring their pain onto anyone, and you happen to be the recipients of that time. So listen, if you take things personally, you are either identifying with their pain and making it your own.

And that's the important part. So, me sitting here if I've had some anger throughout my childhood and brought that into my present life, and now I sit here in front of you in this video, blog city and transferring that pain effectively, all I'm really doing is giving you the opportunity to have my pain. Now, if you receive it, then both of us are embroiled in that sense of owning our own anger and, and and our own pain. So it makes certain that you disconnect from that that you know, is this pain mine or is it the other person's and try to disconnect yourself from that by removing the objectivity that that person is transferring their their doubts they're the hurts their pain onto others. So next time you feel the pain of an interaction or through an action, what I asked you to do is just feel the pain.

Rather than run away from it. Stay there in the moment and breathe through it. Take five deep breaths through your nose, and out through your mouth and go into your chest, go into your heart area, and just feel the pain. Don't let do anything. Don't try to remove the pain. Don't try to get rid of the pain, simply be with it.

And what you'll know is the pain will move through you. I think I've mentioned this before in a recent video blog. Psychologists have now shown that it takes an average of one and a half minutes for an emotion to move through the body or through the body system. Now given that, I know people that have been holding on to a toxic emotion for well over 20 years. So why would you store that pain inside your body? So next time and uncomfortable situation presents itself in your life.

Stay with it. Be with the pain. Now how do you do that? You feel the pain by bringing your awareness and bear attention to it. And what I mean by that is through mindfulness, bring your focus, bring your thoughts to the forefront of your mind. And then go into your heart and feel the pain, feel whatever emotion there is, but don't create a storyline around it.

Simply feel it, be with it, allow it to move through you. So by bringing attention to the pain, you allow it to pass through you and melt away, when you react to the pain and give it story, give it a storyline rather, you are then giving it life when you give it life It grows. It attaches itself to you It lives within you. And then years later, months later, it becomes increasingly difficult to deal with that pain. So my advice to you about not taking things personally is, through bear attention and through awareness. Be with the pain no matter how uncomfortable that pain is, whether it's sadness, anger, depression, anxiety, whatever discomforting or toxic emotion you're feeling, just be with it.

And knowing that it takes an average of a minute and a half for an emotion to move through you. Wouldn't it make sense to allow the emotion to pass? Guys, thank you once again for joining me on this video blog. My name is Tony factory. Thank you for continuing to subscribe. And I hope you enjoy this video.

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