The title of this lecture identifying support structures implies that you're going to need support, which further implies that you're going to have problems. Now, I'm not trying to wish problems on you, but they do seem to come in life, sometimes a few at a time, sometimes in ways. When problems do come, admit that you need help. It doesn't mean that you are weak. It means life happens. We all experienced problems.

Americans don't generally talk about negative things. We like to be positive. But at the same time, our attitude toward problems is kind of like everybody's got some problem or another. I've got mine. It's not a big deal. There isn't as much shame involved.

Now, think problems you faced in the past, I expect you've had support a friend or a relative. on your campus, you'll have to identify support structures. There will be formal and informal support options for you. First, let's explore the formal options. Your International Students Office should be the first place that you go. They will have programs and people that are geared toward meeting your specific needs.

If you don't know where to go, go to them and ask. Among other things, they may have options for American host families, or host family weekends or dinners. If so sign up for that. Many international students never visit an American home. Students on the campus don't have many interactions with family He's in the neighborhood. If you find a host family option, it can be really rewarding.

When we were in New York, we would have internationals over on Thanksgiving Day. Our own friends and friends of friends. We had very good Nick Collie friends who worked at the UN. One year, they brought along their friend who was on a short posting at the UN. He was supposed to go back to Nepal in just a couple of days. And this was the first time he was in an American home.

When he was leaving, he told us that he had he had a really bad impression of America as an unfriendly place. Now he felt happy after being in our home and feeling welcome. I hope you'll have a chance to visit an American Home the campus We'll have a health center. If you don't feel well, that is your first place to visit for health care. There will be a Student Counseling Center, you can ask to speak with a counselor. Sometimes the office can be overwhelmed, so you may have to wait but stick with it.

They will also have support groups that you can join. There should be many support groups for students with addiction, eating or sleeping disorders or dealing with grief and more. There will be an Office of Academic Support. Some universities offer an actual course on study skills. My University did and I signed up for it my first semester. My thinking was, I'm going to be a student for four years.

I might as well get some pointers and make my life easier. If there isn't an actual course that academic support office may offer some sessions. or have some resources. They may also offer some sessions on time management. a skill that helps in college and beyond. There should be an office of career advising.

If you aren't sure about your major, or if you want to help with resume writing. That's the place to visit. In your own department, your primary professor or all the professors that you have, are part of your support system, as well as other department staff. As you spend time in your department, you'll figure out who you can approach. Friends are the most common informal support system. You'll need to determine who you can be open with, who you can go to when you need to be consoled, and in what situations you can be open.

That takes some time. Some of you may be thinking that you don't want Indian friends when you go to the US. You want to make American friends. But most Americans can't understand the culture shock and the transition that you're experiencing. It's a life enriching experience, but sometimes difficult. Other international students will be able to understand, appreciate that they can help you to transition more smoothly.

Have some international or Indian friends. Now let's look at make you American friends. Americans tend to be very friendly, we value external friendliness, but that doesn't always mean that we want to be friends. If someone is friendly with you, be friendly back. Give it some time to grow naturally. Don't be too forceful.

It is Common for Americans to casually say, Hey, we should do lunch sometime. Sometimes they don't mean it at all. You may never hear from them again. Don't take it personally. They have probably said that to lots of people and not followed up. If someone does say that to you, and it's sometime in the next week or so you're walking out of class or the lab together.

You can say, Hey, how about lunch? Could you do today? The key is to test the waters. Push a little bit, but don't be too forceful. With an informal invitation like that, it's common that each person will pay for themselves. Take some initiative, but don't be too forceful.

Generally, we get to know each other by going places or doing things together. How can you start a conversation sometimes Getting started is the hardest part. If you see someone in the library and recognize them, you can ask, Are you in my economics class with Dr. Williams? If you're walking out of a lecture together, you can make a comment about that day's lecture. Man that helped. I was so confused when I read the book.

You can talk about campus activities or hobbies or interest. A common conversation starter is the web. We talk a lot about the weather. This rains too much. Are we ever going to see the sun is dropping, it's not always a good thing to do. But when you're new in a culture, it is one way to learn.

So each from listening to other people's conversations and see what they're talking about. That'll help you to know what common topics of conversation We don't usually start a conversation by asking about family, in part, because there are so many split or mixed families. But even more so because we're very independent. So first question would not be How are your parents? or What does your father do? But what are you studying?

And we don't ask about a person's salary or about the cost of something they just purchased, except in certain situations. We do sort of brag about getting a good deal. Look at my new jeans, I was just out because I needed socks, but these were originally $40 and I found them on a sale rack for 10. And they're my favorite brand. It's kind of bragging rights when you when you're able to find a good bargain. Also, do join an Indian students association or an Indian community organizer.

It may be a great place to get some questions answered, or to eat the food that you like. There may be opportunities to connect with Indian families nearby. One time you may need help is over break. campus will empty out fall break, Thanksgiving break and then the longer winter break. It can be a really lonely time. If you can travel with a friend or find a family to stay with, it will be much nicer for you.

You can benefit from both the formal and informal support structures. As the song says I get by with a little help from my friends.