Now you've learned how to redirect your child. Let's get started with the second strategy. The strategy I use with children all day long is to ignore. Now this is a this is a challenging one to get across. But I touched on this briefly before. I'm not turning my back on the child.

I'm just ignoring specific behaviors. I avoid saying, No, don't do that. Don't Don't touch that. Ouch, that hurts. No hitting. I'm going to ignore their behavior.

And I'm going to pair my ignoring. With another one of these strategies. I use the analogy of a slot machine when thinking about ignoring so if you as an adult were to play the slots of the casino, let's say you have 10% maybe 15 20% chance chance of winning. You're going to keep playing because there's a chance Chance This is going to be very lucrative gamble for you. But if there's a zero absolute zero percent chance of winning any money from the slots, you would never play again. The exact same thing happens with children when they never get what they desired their behavior changes one school year I was helping out with a little child at a school and had these two or three little girls bouncing around near me.

And I did something silly where with these girls, I made a silly comment. Now, these three girls start calling me Silly Billy. I don't know where they got that from. And I didn't want that as a professional. me walking around as a as an adult with my professional clothing and having these girls giggling and calling me Silly Billy, instead of telling these girls, no, don't call me that. That's not nice.

I just ignored them. I ignored any type of Silly Billy, any type of goofiness around me. And when they were being appropriate, sitting quietly and asking me questions, I would totally interact with them. But as soon as they were doing silly, silly, silly Billy or anything like that, I would move away, I would try to give my attention somewhere else. This is an important part. I gave zero icontact.

You may have had a similar situation with a child, and they do something silly and we react with laughter literally was silly. And they want to see us react the same way again. So they do the behavior again. And we have to react and they do it a few more times a few more times. And now we're super annoyed. A simple remedy for this situation, is just ignore and redirect.

Hey, I was going to show you this and now all of a sudden we are on to the next thing with ignoring you don't want to ignore extreme behaviors. Of course you you don't want to ignore a child who's walking into the street. That is not what this is about a child hurting themselves. I'm talking about those silly behaviors that, remember, we talked about your child who's kind of doing these weird ways to get that outcome. We're trying to show them that this is going to be a very inefficient way of getting what they want. I'm going to show them a much more efficient way of getting that candy bar of getting picked up.

Getting the attention. In my mind, I'm thinking, right? Yeah, right. You think pinching me, or screaming or crying is going to get you what you want. I'm going to show them that pinching and screaming and all those other behaviors are going to be really inefficient because I couldn't give you what you want. Here's another quick story that drives my wife crazy.

But I have to share it. When our daughter was maybe about one years old. I was laying next to her on the bed. She rolls over and bites my arm. Really hard. It hurts so bad.

And of course me I much practice I know those five functions of behavior and you know what she was trying to get attention. So me after getting bit, I did nothing. didn't move a muscle. The next day, my wife is laying next to next to her daughter, my, my daughter rolls over and bites my wife. And now that pig reaction hurts. Don't do that.

The baby goes on to bite my wife every couple weeks for the next year. And guess what? For me, she never bit again. So think back to that slot machine. Zero reaction. She didn't get what she was hoping for.

With my wife continued on for another year. And she would tell me I already told her no and me keeping my mouth It may take more time for certain children to learn that their behavior and the outcome are not matching. But for every child I've ever worked with even children who are non verbal, the ignore is the most crucial component of decreasing the problem behavior. And now that you've learned this approach, I encourage you to keep building on this right approach method by learning what the next letter G will stand for. See you in the next lesson.