Lesson 4 | Building Your Support System

The Frazzled to Balanced® Program Module 1 | Building the Foundation
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Transcript

All right, you made it to the last lesson in Module One, building your support system. How's it going so far? Have you been able to get engaged a little with community, ask questions jump in there. Let us know how it's going for you whenever you have some time. Just wanted to check in. All right, this lesson is all about building your support system.

I know that you're probably antsy to get into the time management stuff, and that's coming up in Module Two, I promise. But before we move on for module one, I just want to make sure that your foundation is as solid as it can possibly be, both to help you get through this program successfully, but also so that you have a source of support in your life in general. When I was a therapist, I worked with clients who were recovering from a lifetime of drug and alcohol addiction. There was one thing that helped those who are able to get sober and create healthier lives for themselves that the other people who struggled simply didn't have. Can you guess what that one thing was? You got it.

A strong support system, filled with people who were rooting for them and supporting their healthy changes. Now you may not be addicted to drugs and alcohol, or maybe you are, I don't know. But if you aren't, that's okay. You're still making some important shifts in your life too. And I want to help you surround yourself with people who will support you rather than discourage you. So that's what this lesson is all about.

So let's go over the three goals that we'll cover in this lesson. Number one, you're going to be able to identify the people in your life who are going to be a positive source of support. And here's a hint these people may or may not be who you expect. Number two, you're also going to figure out who you can look to for support, accountability and encouragement as you make these new changes in your life. And finally, you're also going to have a plan for reaching out to the different people based on different circumstances. So why did I include this lesson in the first module?

Why is having a support system so important? Here's just a few benefits of having a solid support system. First, these people can encourage you when things get really hard. Let's face it, life gets hard. As a working parent, it's important to have a strong system of people around you, who will help keep your spirits up when things aren't looking good. Next, he can get insights and sound advice when you're not sure how to how to proceed in certain circumstances.

Sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees, it can be really useful to have some outside opinions and perspectives to help guide you towards the right answer for you. Your support system is also a great place to go to celebrate your successes big and small. I like to call the people who fit in your support system, your tribe. At the end of this lesson, you're going to go through an exercise called build your tribe, which will walk you through a process to identify the handful of people in your life who can offer you the right kind of support. Now you probably already think you know exactly who's going to be in your tribe and some of these people that you're thinking of probably We'll be included. But the first first success tip that I have for you in this lesson is to be prepared that you may be surprised by who you end up having in your tribe.

You might think that those closest to you will be your biggest supporters. And a lot of people are surprised when they get resistance from the people closest to them. This may not happen to you, but if it does realize that it's because those people closest to you have the most to lose. If you change. You may be changing in positive ways, and it may even benefit them in the long run. But change can be really scary and it's natural to want to avoid it.

The other success tip is to try not to pick just one person to be in your tribe. You need a variety of different people who will support you in various ways. Try to have a well rounded support system. Don't just rely on one or two people for all the support you need in your life. As I just mentioned, you're going to be tempted to rely on the people closest to you as you go through this program and beyond. But that can be one of the biggest pitfalls that you should avoid.

It's in your best interest to Avoid this natural tendency and instead choose people who are truly supportive of you and who really get what you're going through. Be open to other sources of support. If your spouse or your parents or your kids are supportive, that's absolutely great. count yourself one of the lucky ones and involve them in your pursuit of a healthier life. But for those of you who can't rely on your spouse or other people closest to you right now, don't worry. As you make positive changes, and they realize that you aren't going anywhere, they'll probably lighten up and might even make some changes have their own cut some, cut them some slack in the beginning, and just focus on your own growth.

In the meantime, try to find support and other ways. Work acquaintance who is in the same situation you are might be a really good person to have in your tribe, or a sibling or someone else who maybe isn't all that close to you. But who's been who's been through what you're going through now might also be a really good source of support, or even a Facebook community or other forum can provide a lot of support as you go through these kinds of changes. Once you've identified who's in your, in your tribe go ahead and resolve to start surrounding yourself with people who will be there for you as you make these changes in your life. The other pitfall I want you to avoid is going to this exercise, building your tribe and then not really using it. Having a solid team in your corner won't do you any good if you don't reach out to them.

I know a lot of you are superheroes in your life and it's hard to ask for help or appear in perfect. Let go of needing to needing to feel like you have it all together and asked for support when you need it. We're all in the same boat. And I think you may be surprised at how many people really do understand what you're going through. And we'll have plenty of supportive and helpful thoughts for you. So for those of you who are used to going it alone, I really want you to check out this new author.

She's not really new. She's been writing for a while now. Her name is Bernie Brown. So if you've never heard of Rene Brown, you are in for a treat. So she's a shame researcher and she's written several different books about embracing vulnerability and drawing strength from our imperfections. So her first book, she has three now, her first book is called the gifts of imperfection.

It's one of the best books I've read about embracing exactly who you are flaws and all. So I wanted to bring this book up in particular, because I have a feeling that you're used to being, you know, the person that everybody goes to in your life. That person who always has everything handled, who can take care of it, who's resourceful, but who ends up getting a lot put on their plate. So I know how easy it can feel how easy it is to feel like you need to do everything for everyone else. There's so much pressure out there also to have like a Pinterest perfect place. This book is a wonderful message and I wanted to share it with you to wrap up this module.

No matter what your experiences as a working parent, or whatever it has been in the past. It's completely okay. You're doing the best you can with what you have available right now. Parenthood is a journey and it's okay to not have it all together all the time. It's also okay to read Reach out to trusted friends and family members around you and ask for help when you need it. There is no shame in relying on your tribe.

That is absolutely what they're here for. Okay, are you ready to build your tribe? Go ahead and download the next exercise, build your tribe. And then once you're finished with that lesson, actually, you've completed module one. That's it. So see, not so bad.

You're moving right along. Okay, let's wrap up this module. Like my son likes to say, let's do this.

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