The easiest way to understand respect and its impact on conflict is to plot a simple chart. Let's draw an axis upwards. That indicates the level of concern you have for yourself. And the horizontal axis will reflect the level of concern you have for others. And now, let's divide this chart into three zones. At the bottom of the chart, where you have high concern for others, and relatively low concern for yourself that leads to passive behaviors, passive behaviors, where we're prepared to subordinate our own legitimate concerns and needs and rights to others, which of course, leads to in a conflict.
It leads us to be hesitant to offer our own points of view to ask for help when we need it. We're unassertive. And our primary concern is to just get by, we find it hard to say no, we're uncomfortable with responsibility. And our focus is on not getting hurt. Now, at the other end of the chart, where we've got relatively high levels of concern for ourselves, and lower levels of concern for others, that can lead to aggressive behavior in the extreme. It's a bullying, even abusive behavior.
Of course, this leads to conflict. And Curiously, just like passive behavior, this kind of aggressive behavior, finds it hard to ask for help. But it isn't shy in offering opinions. It's very forceful. This kind of behavior demands what it wants and he's prepared to blame others if it doesn't get it. primary focus is on winning at all costs.
And this kind of aggressive behavior doesn't take prisoners. And therefore conflict can escalate very rapidly. In the middle, we've got assertive behavior. And assertive behavior is a balance. On the one hand, you respect yourself and on the other hand, you respect others. And if those are in balance, then your primary concern is to do what's fair to do what's right.
Your focus is getting the right results. You're not afraid to ask for help, but you're also not afraid to give feedback and to offer an opinion. This kind of assertive behavior can start to get into a conflict but it acts reasonably in resolving that conflict. It stands its ground but it respects that the other person may well have their own legitimate needs and desires instead of putting your own desires and needs ahead of others, as aggressive behavior does or putting other people's needs and desires ahead of yours is passive behavior does assertive behavior recognizes the value of both and tries to come up with a fair and equitable solution. This kind of behavior is all about collaboration, which means this is the place to start. If you want to avoid conflict.
It's the place to get to quickly if you find conflict starts to escalate. And it's the place to get into if you need to de escalate conflict. Because assertive behavior is about doing the right thing. Finding the right way to do