What are the steps for the escalating conflict? Well, there's seven. And they're very straightforward. The first step is to make the choice to engage positively. And the second step is then to make contact in a respectful way. These two steps together are about respecting the other person, and recognizing that if you don't step forward and deal with it, then you're not showing them the respect that they deserve.
Now you need to build rapport. And the third step is to appreciate the courage that the other person is showing. In likewise making a choice to engage with you. Listen to them and demonstrate empathy for their situation and try hard To understand it as carefully as you can. Now you need to move to step four. And this is where you both need to understand each other's point of view.
You need to take turns to share your perceptions of what's going on your perceptions of what went wrong, your perceptions of what good outcomes might be, and you need to listen to each other. Because the more you understand about each other, and the longer you take to build that relationship, then the better your chances of ultimately resolving the conflict. Once you've built rapport, it's time to collaborate. And collaboration really starts at step five. With working together to agree the criteria for a good resolution. What will success look like?
Make suggestions, listen to suggestions and hone it down till you get a reasonable definition of success. That is a win for both of you. You need to be generous and they need to be generous and accepting that one of you When more than the other, but if you can both get something you want from the resolution, then that will be success. Step six is then to explore options for a resolution. What could we do? What could I offer you?
What could you offer me? How can we take what we've got and build a successful resolution together. And step seven is to take the solutions you've discussed and to offer a possible resolution. And when that resolution is accepted, work together, to find ways to implement it and to agree a plan. Now it's time to shake hands and recognize what you've achieved in turning conflict into collaboration, kind of propose a solution that not only do you both agree on, but gives you both a win