All right, it's time for lesson number three self love. Love is the ultimate vehicle for life and transformation. It begins with yourself first. Love is worth fighting for right? And guess what else is worth fighting for, or in this case, who else is worth fighting for? That's right, you are worth fighting for.

We're going to reference the principles and methods and tools from the be solid book that are in chapters 1314 1816 and 20. Read that as you go through this lesson and return to it anytime that you want help. or anytime you want to bring love into your life more fully. you're approaching your heart in your mind with kindness. You're spending time with quality people and removing negative and toxic influences from your life. These are ways you choose to love, honor and respect yourself.

This is devotion You are worth being fully devoted to. You have to be devoted first to yourself. If you approach the relationship, particularly a romantic one, seeking acceptance, validation, love or approval, you didn't fully love yourself. And this pattern created significant hurts in your life and in the relationship as a whole, the relationship itself, if you will, hey, just to be clear, I can totally relate. That was a struggle and issue that I had with my relationships, especially in my marriage. It's one of the biggest factors that led to my worst heartbreak.

I know that being first and loving yourself is the pathway to wholeness, because I live the story of brokenness. I got married to a very pretty woman and felt worth and validation because she said, Yes. And then when she left, so did my sense of self worth. If you've experienced rejection, abandonment, or even betrayal from a cheating spouse, it negatively impacts your self worth and your confidence. And you can feel like you're replaceable and disposable, like you were thrown in the garbage and walked away from without care. I understand that that's exactly how I felt when my wife left me.

That is the opposite of devotion. That is the opposite of respect. That is the opposite of love. To understand and practice self love. We have to explore the subject of love and its fullness, and also understand what love is, and what love isn't. We're going to talk about what is love.

In this lesson, we're going to look at what love actually is. Because just about everyone uses the word love and even the phrase, I love you. But if you don't know what love actually is, and you don't fully love yourself, you won't be able to recognize real love or fake love when it's standing in front of you. And yes, I said fake love. Here's why love fights for itself, sacrifices for itself to ensure the safety and well being of those that cares about love fights for itself, which means love as a relationship fights to keep that relationship whole fights to keep that relationship solid and will do whatever it takes to keep the relationship in good standing, to keep peace, to keep wholeness to keep connection between both parties have that relationship. That's what love is.

If someone says I love you with their words, but their actions are emotionally verbally, physically or psychologically abusive. They're not practicing real love. And their definition of what love is, is way off. If they're saying I love you with their mouth, but their actions are doing something different. They don't fully understand what love is. For some people, the phrase I love you really means you make me feel pretty good right now, which is essentially saying I love you The way I feel in this moment.

And that's a complimentary and unkind thing to say I'm not trying to be, be trivial about that. But communicating love is communicating more than just feeling good in a moment. On the flip side of that is what happens when you experience heartbreak. And when you want to cope from negative emotions, when you're broken on the inside, especially after the end of a relationship. You can bring that brokenness in with you into the next relationship. Instead of trying to cope by jumping into a relationship right away, especially if you've experienced heartbreak.

Love yourself, and let yourself heal. Let your heart become restored, and practice loving yourself. That's what we're doing here in this course, this way, your whole for your net. This way you are whole for your next relationship and you attract the right person into your life for the best relationship possible. Now I want you to do something real quick. I want you to think about What does love mean to you?

How would you define love? What does love do? That is remarkable and different than just liking someone or just feeling good when you're around them. When you use your journal here, take a page or two to describe what the phrase I love you means to you doesn't mean that you want the best for the other person that you will sacrifice to help them that you'll provide for their emotional, physical, psychological needs. That you will treat them with kindness as your first way of being with them. It's important to know what love means to you because you're going to give yourself this love as your primary recipient.

And if you want to attract the right person, into your life for a healthy, whole and beautiful connection, it's essential that you know what love really is so that you can recognize it when you see it. Also essential that you are giving yourself this kind of love so that you can attract that kind of love to you It also helps you heal your mind and your heart by recognizing the ways that you weren't loved wholly and completely in your past relationships so that you can let them go and move on. You deserve love that is real. That is true. And that is what it says it is. Alright, let's practice some self love.

There's something to be very mindful of. We cannot control how people treat us, even those that are closest to us. But we can control how we respect ourselves. Give yourself the love, honor and devotion that you gave to someone else. How, remember when we talked about in the first lesson of this video, and actually, in the first lesson of this course, speak to yourself with kindness. We're going to look at the practice of self love now.

And here's a simple exercise that you can do anytime. Compliment yourself. Notice how you look, tell yourself that you're beautiful. It doesn't matter whether you're in shape or not, whether you work out or not, whether you're dressed up in nice clothes, or you're in your pajamas and slippers, you are beautiful. It's who you are. So tell yourself that and mean it.

It feels good when someone compliments you, doesn't it? Give yourself that love to? If you're thinking, Man, this is silly. I don't want to tell myself I'm beautiful or awesome or that I look good. I don't want to be arrogant and conceited. Not being any of those negative things.

When you compliment and love yourself. There's a huge difference between loving yourself and being arrogant. It's not a lack of humility to give compliments to other people. So why consider it on humble to compliment yourself. arrogance and conceit are in the heart. They're putting yourself above others.

Self love isn't putting anyone over anyone else in church. I don't know if you went to church or not. I did. And still do sometimes in church, we're taught to be humble and love your neighbor as yourself. But we're not taught how to love ourselves. But you're learning that right now.

You have the healthiest relationships with whole people who love and respect themselves. The love and respect they give others is a reflection of what they give to themselves. This is why having healthy boundaries for yourself is so important. Know What You Will and What you won't do, what you will and what you won't allow. Give yourself the respect you deserve by sticking with these boundaries. If people try to push your boundaries, if they don't respect you, or if they mock you for having boundaries.

Why would you want to spend time with these people? What good are they offering you if they're not giving you love and respect? Do one thing else? Ask your strong circle for help and accountability for the people that you include in your greater social circle and trust. In their honesty, trust in their wisdom, trusting their judgment. This is one of the ways to foster love in your relationships.

Be open and aware of what you see in your interactions with people. And note the love that's exchanged. Love is respectful. Love is kind love is giving. Love is not self seeking. Love is not easily angered.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love is peaceful. Love is patient. Love always hopes, love, always perseveres. Love never fails. Use this description for love and your relationships with others and your relationship with yourself to practice real love on a regular basis.

Right we're going to do a simple self love practice. An exercise to incorporate this into your life is to use a journal to practice self love, every single day. What I want you to do is I want you to write a series of affirmations to play Seeds of love and empowerment in your heart and in your mind. Now, I'll tell you something about myself. When I introduced myself in the very, very, very, very, very first video that you saw me, I called myself the growth farmer. What that means is it's a principle and a way that I operate from I believe that your heart and your mind or gardens, what you plant inside your heart, in your mind is what you produce with your life.

What we're going to do in this exercise is plant seeds of love in your heart and in your mind, what you feel and what you think so that it will be what you produce with your life. Now, I write in my journal every single day and I don't have my journal, ominous. It's really I can tell you exactly what's in my journal. I write affirmations. Here's a couple of my affirmations I am love. I am love.

I am peace. I am solid. I am whole. I'm in the best relationship of my life. I am attracting the right people in the right circumstances to bring me happiness fulfilled. In success today is just a couple of affirmations that I write down every day.

And after I write them down, I read them. So, we're going to write down some affirmations and I'm going to lead you and what that looks like. And after we do that, you're going to read your affirmations out loud. The more that you encourage and empower yourself, the more love you give to yourself, the better you feel, and the more transformed you become. This is one of the most powerful and important steps in your healing journey. You will attract people who operate out of love and have healthier relationships by affirming the love that is inside of you.

So here's your action item exercise for this lesson. I want you to get your journal, I want you to write today's date at the top of the page. And on the top line, I want you to do a couple things. I want you to start with writing three things that you are grateful for. Ah, we're not doing affirmations yet. We're going to start with gratitude.

Gratitude opens up heaven for love and miracles to pour in. To your life. After you write three things, you're grateful for it then I want you to write a series of affirmations you're going to use present tense, not I want or I hope to have, present tense is I am. Make your affirmations about being strong and whole, about experiencing the life that you want. Again, here's a few of the affirmations that I write in that I read to myself every day. I am love.

I am whole, I am solid. I am peace. I am joy. I am the empowerment superhero. I'm in the best relationship of my life. I'm making a powerful difference in the lives of people all over the world.

Now what you will find is in my life, I am these things I am the love in the room. I embody that I am the joy in the room. I embody that I am the peace in the room. I embody that and I am in the best relationship of my life and I am making a difference in people's lives all over the world. The simple fact that you're in this course is proof of that. I am is about being embody what you want to experience.

I want love, I want peace, I want wholeness, I want joy. I want solidarity and the best relationship with love. And I experienced it every day because I commit to it daily using this journal, writing this down reciting into myself. That's why you write it and recite it out loud. It's a powerful impact on your healing on the healing of your heart, in your mind, in transforming how you live your life, you're making a contract with yourself that is both written and verbal. Now, I want you to take this practice this exercise, and I'm going to challenge you now.

I want you to do this every day, for the next 30 days. And I want you to tell me how you feel. If you want to message me in this course do that. Write it down, write down how you feel after 30 days now then keep it going and do it for another 30 days. So now you've got 60 days and look at how you're doing confidence, your sense of self worth, and your relationships have improved. I promise you you're going you're going to be amazed.

This might be the most important lesson in this course. But don't stop. Keep going