In this video, we're going to talk about understanding your inner critic. Now, it's really important for you to understand that you're going to have that voice inside your head, that is telling you different things that is putting you down, that is trying to essentially save you. But oftentimes, it's explaining things in a negative manner. So let me go ahead and walk you through here, understanding your inner critic. So with understanding your inner critic, you have to understand that nothing is going to derail you or hold you back, like negative self evaluation, right? That inner critic that is telling you that you're no good.

It's telling you, you know, why did you say that? Why did you act this way? Why did you act that way? Right. And it's constantly going on in the back of your mind. So people typically use two main mental processes to put themselves down right this inner critic in their mind.

Number one, they're making internal pictures of failing or messing up. So they are looking at going on stage, they're looking at them tripping on stage flustering their words, I'm having people critique them, having all these negative thoughts of them failing and them not having any type of success. And then number two, hearing an internal voice that reminds them of what they're doing wrong. So this is that voice that's going on the back of your mind. 24 seven, for the most part, when it comes to you doing things that are out of your comfort zone, or just in general, because, you know, you could be sitting there thinking about a situation that you had that, you know, you probably would have liked to have gone a little bit different, right? But you are sitting there constantly this voice in your head, and it's going, oh man, why did you say that?

Why did you do that? You're such a dummy, right? All these different things that are negative talk, but I'm going to show you how to be able to change this negative talk into positive talk and how we can best Understand this inner critic Because ultimately, the inner critic is actually trying to help you. I'm going to show you how they're trying to do that in this particular lecture. So you see most people who are depressed, they tend to just make pictures inside of their mind of things not going well. So then they get that kind of self fulfilling prophecy in the real world, they begin to feel bad, they begin to think bad thoughts, right?

Until it all just becomes the actual reality that they're experiencing. Right? And here's the thing most people will say, you know, a positive attitude is a very contagious type of, you know, characteristic or, you know, a positive attitude is, you know, extremely contagious, which it is, however, the most contagious type of attitude, or you know, any kind of thought process is a negative thought that is the most contagious because it'll get people to become depressed for days. Right for weeks and months at a time, where they are just in this constant smoke right in this bubble of being depressed because they constantly get these thoughts in their mind of things not going well. things, you know, in the future that haven't even happened yet, but they're playing out these scenarios. And so everything is making them feel this way.

And it's making them feel bad. And so then they're reflecting that into the real world. And it's really interesting to me that very few people actually sit there and think about all the things that are going well, because then they're going to have to practice gratitude, and very few people will practice gratitude, right? As far as just being grateful that you have a roof over your head, that you have a bed to sleep in, that you have shoes that you maybe have a car, you have a job, whatever that may be right. Practicing gratitude on a daily basis will immediately shift your mindset in your awareness and understand that you know what things don't always need to be bad, I don't have to go into this depression in this whole entire, you know, negative attitude and negative thoughts because I am grateful for all the things that are going well, right.

And that's what I choose to focus on. So really, really important there. So focus instead on things that are going well, even if it's very small things, right? Because you don't want to get caught up in this mental feedback loop of negativity, where something happens to you, and it's unfortunate. And then it's just a snowball effect, right? You need to be able to understand that something's going to happen to you that may not be a good situation may be unfortunate, and you need to understand you know what it is what it is, but I'm not going to let it but I'm not going to let it affect my mood.

And I'm not going to you know, dwell on it because it is what it is. And there's only so much that I can do about it right? As far as you know, making things better, but you know, I can but one of the things that I can control is how I think about the situation. So I choose to think about in a positive manner, so it's really important to understand that your inner critic is always going to be there, right? And it's up to you to be able to understand how to reframe different thoughts and different things in your mind. so that it can be positive instead of negative there.

So now let's go into understanding your inner critic a little bit more. So, think back to a specific situation where you notice an internal voice was critical to you, right? It was, you know, making negative comments about you. It was putting you down, it was telling you things like, why did you do this? Gosh, You're such an idiot. Why do you keep being like this?

Why do you keep acting like this? All these different negative things, okay? Put yourself back in that situation and briefly relive it. Okay, I'm going to give you know, five to 10 seconds. Okay, few seconds there. Alright, so, now as soon as you relive that particular situation, okay?

Pay special attention to that critical voice. That was Voice may sound louder may sound soft, the tonality may be sarcastic, and it might sound like your voice or something close to you, that has been critical of you in the past such as a parent, sibling, a friend, maybe somebody that you dated, whatever that may be right, somebody that was critical of you in the past. Now, notice your emotional responses as you listen to the voice. Notice what happens if you speed the voice up or slow it down. Now make the voice sound playful, like a cartoon character. Like, if you're familiar with the old cartoons in the USA, the Elmer Fudd character, Mickey Mouse, or some sort of computerized recording something like a cartoon, okay?

Now notice how your emotional response changes as soon as you change the tonality. As soon as you change the speed and the tempo of the voice, right? Even with the words remaining the same, because a lot of it's not what you say, but it's how you say things. Okay. Now let's go and find the intention of this critical voice by asking what it's trying to do for you, that is positive because behind every behavior, is it positive intention for us, or wouldn't be able to keep doing that. So, remember, I mentioned that that voice is critical is negative, but it's trying to protect you.

It's trying to get you to see things that you're not paying attention to. So understanding that the critical voice has some positive purpose that it's attempting to accomplish for you, right? It's trying to get your attention. And it's important to find out what that positive intention is. Okay? So again, hear that voice in your mind being critical and ask the voice just if the word another person, what's your intention for me?

What are you trying to accomplish for me? what purpose do you have in my mind when you're being critical of me? Now after you've asked one of these questions, remain silent and listen to what the voice says and a lot of the common answers here are going to I'm trying to keep you from making a fool of yourself. I want to protect you. I'm making sure you're doing what's right. Now notice how this has a positive intention here.

Remember, the voice is trying to protect you. It's your subconscious mind that is trying to get you to listen and pay attention to what you're doing right. Now, after you hear the answer from his voice, notice the response to this intention, right? Notice how you don't actually appreciate what the voice is saying. But you really appreciate that the voice has a positive intention, right? That it's actually looking out for you.

Now, if the voice says something like, I want to punish you, you probably won't agree with that intention, right? But then when you ask again, and you say, what will that accomplish for you to punish me the voice of my reply with then you'll be able to pay attention to me remember what I say? Because remember, it's trying to look out for you. And then after asking it again in my reply, with I want to keep you out of situations where you'll fail, and you'll feel bad, right? So this is an intention that we all can agree upon. It's trying to protect you from making a fool of yourself.

So once you've determined that positive intention of that voice, right, the first step is to agree with it, and to think the voice and say, You know what, I really appreciate it that you know, you're looking out for me, because remember, it always has that positive intention, affirm your value of its intention for you. I'm glad you have that positive intention for me. Thank you for wanting this for me, right? Doing this allows you to both agree on the positive intention. And then you're no longer enemies. You guys are seeing eye to eye you guys are agreeing on something, right?

So now you become allies, and you can work together to resolve the problem. So now you can ask the phone question. If there were additional ways to get this positive intention meant that we're at least as good and perhaps even better Then what you're doing now? Would you be interested in trying those out? Notice how we're giving the voice now options if they're open to trying something new. And here's a really good example of how this process works here.

As far as for being able to ask the questions, I get the responses and being able to change it up so that it stated in a positive. Okay. So here's an example of john. JOHN hadn't been feeling depressed lately. And he explored this issue, right, he discovered that his internal voice was saying to him, Hey, you're a bad person. When he asked a voice, what's your intention in saying that?

The response was, I want to get you to pay attention to how you come across to others. You've been really negative towards others lately, and you should stop doing that. Now think about how powerful this is here, right? The voice is trying to tell this individual that he's a bad person, right? They have that positive intention, but they're just saying it in a negative way. Right.

Once you really get to understand the voices that are actually negative are actually positive. But they just need to be stated in a different way. Right? You can completely reframe that, in this particular situation. JOHN has been really bad towards people lately, he's been treating others, not like they should be treated. And so the voice is telling him that he needs to stop doing that, because he then is going to feel better about himself.

Right? And so john then responds with and when I stop being negative towards others, what will that do for me, and the voice responded with, you'll have more self respect and feel better about yourself, right? So all of these different things he was doing unconsciously he was, you know, not treating others with respect. He was being a rude individual. And then, you know, at home he was maybe you know, suffering and going through this depression, and, you know, hearing all these different thoughts of, he's a bad person. I'm a bad person all these years.

Things, when really, the intention behind it all was because he was putting out bad energy, and not presenting himself well to the rest of the world because he was being rude. He was not treating others with respect. And so that brought disrespect and depression onto himself because of what he's putting out. Because remember, you get what you put out in this world. However it is that you're thinking inside internally, you're going to present that out to the world and how you present yourself is exactly what you're going to get back. If you present yourself as somebody who is confident, who you know, is somebody who's a leader, then you're going to attract those type of individuals and people to you, right, that totally connect and resonate with confidence that totally connect and resonate with leadership, right?

Maybe people that are even looking up to you. So the point is, if you are a bad person, if you are a rude person, and you know better is very subjective. But if you're not putting out goodwill out there in the world, if you're not treating others with respect, then you're going to feel bad about yourself. And then you're going to get into this oppression, and you're not going to know what's going on. But in reality, it's about what you're putting out there in the world, right? So very, very powerful technique here.

Here's the six step reframing interview process, step by step laid out. So number one, you want to talk to that critical voice, right? Think of that critical voice. Anytime that it's criticized. Do you want to put yourself back in that situation? Listen to what it says.

Right? Listen to the tonality, the voice of tempo, and what it's actually saying. And then number two, you want to look for a positive intention, right? You want to look for what is the positive intention that you're trying to have here right with me because you're stating this in a negative way. But I understand you're trying to be you know, protecting me here. You're trying to help me out.

So what do you Really trying to say. And then number three, we have acknowledge and think you want to make sure that you're agreeing with the voice. And you're thinking if we're having that positive intention. And then number four, you want to ask the voice to join with you in search for alternatives, you know, asking them, hey, if we can find additional ways that you can actually state this positive intention, you know, in a better way, instead of it being negative, right? Are you open to doing that? And then number five, the creative part, this is where you use your creativity, to find different ways that you can have that voice, you know, say things in the positive versus than being in the negative.

And then number six, right, you want to actively imagine carrying out these new ideas, right, these positive intentions, these voices, right? And then number six, future planning. So you want to actively imagine carrying out each of these new ideas, right, new positive statements, ways of presenting it to you right? And then ask the voice. It will be Be willing to use one or more of these ideas in the appropriate situations. And anytime that you're feeling depressed, you're having, you know, any kind of negative thought process.

Go through your mind, you want to run this six step reframing process here, because you're going to be very surprised as to what you find out, right? Because remember, the voice is always trying to help you out. It's always on your side. But it's not stating in a positive manner. So you have to get to the bottom of that and understand what's that true intention because it's always positive, right. So that's going to be here for this video and we'll see you on the next one.