Self-love also means taking care of yourself and protecting yourself.

If something is not in alignment with yourself or doesn't feel right to you it's okay to say no. If you don't like to do something or go somewhere say no. You need to set up boundaries for your own good. By protecting yourself and your happiness you are doing everybody else a favor as well. You are not hurting other people, it's actually the opposite.

People subconsciously feel your energy and are affected by it. So when you are feeling bad they will feel it too. So it's better you stay away if you cannot be there feeling good. If you protect your energy you have much more energy to give during the moments that you truly enjoy and the people that surround you will feel it and enjoy your company so much more. You also need to say no and protect yourself from you.

I am talking about all of those negative and judgmental thoughts in your mind that seem to always pop up in the worst moments. You can actually train your mind to become your supportive friend and stop being your judgemental enemy.

Start with choosing a different thought when a negative one appears. Just choose again. Become aware of bad thoughts, say no, and choose a better feeling thought. Think about something else instead. Believe me, you will get better and better with practice. At some point, it will just become naturally.

It's okay to change the subject. You can change the subject in your own mind but also when having a conversation with people. If someone makes you feel bad or is discouraging and putting you down. Change the subject you are free to choose where you put your energy into.

Tasks:

• Think about the things you do, you actually don't enjoy. Where do you go and what do you do just to please people? What do you say yes to even though you wish you would have said no? Say no next time and use this time for something that serves you and your purpose. You don't need to please people and force yourself to do things you don't enjoy. When you are truly yourself and spend your energy on things you like, the right people will find you and come to you.
• Become aware of your negative thoughts and choose a better feeling thought. Notice how this thought makes you feel and choose a thought that is one step higher (see attachment). Then move your way slowly up the scale.
• Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people. There is no need to waste your energy on people that don't serve you. Say no and walk away. Or at least change the subject. Your tribe will find you when you show up as the real you.