There's a powerful model that can help you understand some of the mental blocks to delegation. And in this lecture, I want to give you an introduction to it. And that model is called transactional analysis, or sometimes ta for short. And transactional analysis is the brainchild of Eric Byrne. Now in transactional analysis, we analyze the transactions or the communication between one person, the sender and another, the receiver. A more Eric Bern suggests is that in each of us, the sender, the receiver, there are three ego states.

That's his label for the kind of ways of thinking that we have that we can deploy when we communicate. And the first ego state is The parents state. Now if you think about it, the metaphor that he's using when he talks about the parents state is one of people behaving in one of two ways either highly critically, you don't want to do it that way. I know how to do it, you should do this, you shouldn't do that. And the other type of behavior that we associate with parents, and therefore we associate with the parents state, is a nurturing behavior. The idea that our look after you, don't worry, I'll take care of it.

Now Now, the ego state that he defines is the child state. And this metaphor, is equally easy to understand. Because if you think about it, how did children behave? Well, firstly, children, Riven by the things they learned, like parents are they driven by their emotions, if they feel things, they do what they want, if they want to do it, they do it gleefully. And if they don't, they stamp their feet, they bang their fists and they say no, I won't do it. Except that children don't always do that.

Sometimes they just comply because they know what's expected of them. They don't know that it's right. They may not even feel it, it is right here they do it to please other people. They adapt to the situation and they conform. Now the third ego state is one that burned labeled as the adult state. Unlike the parent state, the adult state may have a basket of information and knowledge, but it thinks through each situation on its own merits, It examines the evidence.

And unlike the child state, it doesn't do what it wants to do what he feels emotionally it it has to do. The adult state does what it believes is right for the right reasons, and it does so in a respectful manner. Consequently, in the transactional analysis model, you can imagine that the ideal transaction for effective delegation is an adult to adult transaction. I asked you respectfully, to do a piece of work because I've assessed it carefully. And you listen to my request, you evaluate it, and you give your answer respectfully, hopefully, yes. But here's the thing I've noticed about a lot of new managers, new supervisors, new project managers, new team leaders.

Somehow, although they know that they have deserved their promotion, perhaps they've been through a rigorous process to achieve that promotion. Deep down. They feel a little bit like Who am I to be telling these people what to do? In the back of their mind, delegation isn't a powerful organizational tool, that they have the right and the responsibility to use effectively. It's telling people what to do and that feels wrong. So consequently, when they ask someone to do something that child state emotional entanglement is there inside them.

And of course, when a child asks someone to do something, it's kind of like they're asking their parent. And so when the child state speaks, often it's the parent who responds, and the parent can respond in one of two ways. The critical parent of course, says, Don't tell me to do that. That's not how you should be doing it. I'm not here to do your work for you. And rejects a delegation, which of course, makes you feel bad and makes you hesitant to try and delegate again.

And let's not forget Some of your team members may not be above actually behaving like that, even if you're delegating properly, trying to manipulate you into the child state. But of course, if the child state addresses the parent, the parent state has another way of responding. And that's in a nurturing way. Don't worry, I'll look after it. And stand. You don't know how to do it.

I'll do it for you. It's patronizing. It's demeaning. It's belittling. It's manipulative. They're trying to make you feel even smaller.

They're trying to make you feel like you are in their dead. So we don't have time in this program to go into all of the subtleties of the transactional analysis model. But the simple thing to remember is that when it's time to delegate, you have the right and the responsibility. If you've thought it through carefully, and delegation is the right solution, you can ask respectfully and expect a respectful answer. And if you don't get one, if the other person then tries to manipulate the situation by being critical, or by being patronizing, then reject that calmly and firmly say, That's not how I was hoping you'd respond. Please think carefully about this.

And we'll talk about it again in an hour or so. So transactional analysis, a powerful model for any new supervisor, any new manager or project manager or team leader, I'd strongly advise you to learn more about the power and the value of ta