When you're arguing with your partner, when you're not seeing eye to eye, and you're not able to understand the logic behind the reason why they are behaving the way they currently are, you try and seek validating information, you try to develop a better understanding of why your partner is thinking the way they are. This is going to be really important whenever you're having a disagreement, because at the very crux of it, you don't typically understand their point of view, that emotional connection that needs to be there in order to resolve the issue at hand that is missing. So in order to do that, you want to fill in the gaps of information that you currently have. And you do that by asking a lot of questions or you could use a talk and you could ask them to become more specific also. So let's say you don't know Understand your partner's logic, you could say something as simple as this.
You're disagreeing with the person. And yet you are trying to find out why they are thinking the way they are, say something like this. I disagree with you. And I can't understand why you take your position. I can't follow your reasoning. But I would like you to please help me in trying to find out why you think the way you do.
Please try and help me better understand why you take your stand in this way. Please help me find a better way to understand your point of view. structuring your conversation in this way, puts yourself in a position to understand why they are thinking this way. Why are they disagreeing with you? Why do they have this perspective that is something that you just cannot comprehend. You're disagreeing with the person yet.
You're trying to find common ground in terms of their thought process. Why do they think the way they do remember that all of this stuff has to be done in a very skillful manner. This has to be used at the right time in the right place so that it applies effectively. That's what you are looking to achieve. Do this much and try to understand every single part of why your partner is thinking this way. If you master your partner's thought process, you can deal with any future situations where you may run into an impasse or have a disagreement.
It's all about understanding why they think the way they do and then moving ahead to find a solution. That's the crux of all of this stuff. Do this much, and I promise you'll see big results moving ahead. I'll see you in the next lecture.