One of the things that most people do not really think about that forms a very important aspect of listening is paying attention to what is not being said. The person's nonverbal communication. What is your partner's saying to you, when they are not speaking, when they are not communicating through the traditional word means, what does it mean when they don't speak? research has identified that up to 60% of communication happens through nonverbal means. So, paying attention to the spoken word and combining that with how one is feeling on the inside. All of this comes together in some way.

Communication is a dynamic process that involves a lot of stuff. However, when you focus on how someone is communicating information to you through nonverbal means, you can typically get a better understanding of what they're actually going through. Because although most people can mask their feelings through words, they rarely can do so through their body. Paying attention to how your body moves when you're communicating information, how your partner's body moves, when they are trying to say something to you. This is something that you really want to make a habit of learning to become more mindful of body language. This includes facial expressions, how the body is positioned at different times and how the body is actually moving.

Additionally, this is one very important thing that you need to pay attention to and understand And that is nonverbal communication is not universal, it can vary and depend on where you come from in the world. However, there are some common guidelines here that you can observe for. Typically, these are you could say universal, although there may be some minor differences wherever you live. The first one is paying attention to how this person here may seem emotionally uptight. They seem worried, they are wondering about what is going to happen in the future. This simple expression here with the eyebrows raised can also indicate surprise at the same time here the primary focus is the fact that someone is being emotionally aroused and they are worried.

The next thing here is we Have a relaxed man sitting comfortably in his position where he is at ease in his current place, and there is nothing that can take him away from the state at this point of time. This also indicates a sense of comfort and dominance and that he is not worried about possible threats. Here we have a mother and child. And clearly there is a degree of care that is being communicated from the mother to her child. This is rather straightforward. And if you really do pay attention, you will always find the mothering instinct in people that protects the people around them.

The next thing here that you can pay attention to is touching. people communicate a lot through touch and in the context of your sexual relationship in the context of your romantic relationship with your partner. You want to engage in touch whenever it fits the situation. Pay attention to how your partner likes to be touched, how your partner actually should be touching you communicating that information. This is all very, very important. Additionally, you can also look at how gentle touch can slowly be escalated to refer touch in the context of your sex life, and how you can change things up how you can vary your touch.

This can indicate a lot about what your partner likes, or doesn't like. Also, lack of touch can be a warning sign, something that your partner wants their space that they don't want to have any physical contact with you at this point of time. That can be a warning sign. Lastly, looking at how some People look into each other's eyes and communicate a lot of emotion and feeling without having to say anything. This is very, very important. Again, when you're gazing into your partner's eyes, a deep sense of connection is developed.

And if you want to create an intimate relationship, this is something that you really want to spend your time with getting lost in the moment, enjoying each and every second that you are gazing into each other's eyes. Most people refrain from this because gazing can indicate different things. But there is a big difference between gazing and staring. Avoid staring, instead create a gaze that is light eye contact that depicts warmth in your eyes, rather than invoking confrontation. Finally, let me once again reinforce force this important aspect and that is, there is a degree of congruence that you need to aim for that is making sure that your thoughts and feelings are in line with how you are expressing yourself through the spoken word and your nonverbal communication. Make sure that all of it is in line so that you are expressing yourself well, and at the same time, pay attention to how information is being communicated by other people around you.

I'll see you in the next lecture.