When you're looking to provide information to your partner, you rarely Think about your nonverbal communication. All of the focus seems to lie on what you say and how you say it. But your nonverbal communication incorporates almost 60 to 70% of anything that you communicate to your partner. That's why sexual communication can often occur without words. When you're kissing someone. Rarely do you ever think about, wait, I need to stop and tell this person how I feel and what is going on in my head.

It's never going to work out. Instead, we communicate with our hands, how we touch the person's face, or how we touch the person's body, how our head moves, whether we move our body closer or further away from the person. How do we respond to sexual stimuli? It's very interesting to consider how big a role verbal communication plays and how little attention we actually pay to it. That's why learning to become mindful of your body language and how your facial expressions are in any given situation, that is going to be very critical for you. So when it comes to facial expressions, how you depict pleasure, boredom, disgust, joy or sadness, it's all going to be really important.

Learn to see how you actually communicate this stuff. look into a mirror, learn how your face actually looks when you're conveying this information, and be mindful of how you feel. Remember, that's a very important concept of emotional intelligence, that self awareness that you gain throughout this entire process. That's something that you will have to apply. Again, body language communicates your likes and dislikes and can tell a lot more about what you're thinking and feeling without you having to say it So leaning away when you're touched, relaxing or tensing up when your partner responds to you or doesn't respond to you, all of this stuff can convey a lot. Even silence can tell a lot of information about how someone is thinking or feeling.

Now, let's say you went up to your partner, and you ask them, Hey, how are you doing today? What happened at work? Now, let's say there was a huge pause before they responded, and the body language immediately indicated to you that Wait, something seems like it's wrong. Something must have gone badly. And that's why you can use the open ended questioning and move further into the problem that your partner is facing and try and understand exactly what is wrong with them. Again, it refocuses all of our attention towards the importance of nonverbal communication The ultimate goal that you need to learn to work towards with regard to your communication is learning to become congruent.

What is congruence, it's making sure that your verbal and nonverbal communication that you convey to anyone else, especially your partner, is in line with your thought process and how you feel very, very important. It's a skillful art that you need to master if this course is going to give you the best value that you ever wanted for yourself. Focus on becoming congruent. Make sure that how you think and feel is in line with how you communicate that to the other person, and make sure that your partner also tries to strive to achieve the same thing. I'll see you in the next lecture.