Things don't seem to be going your way at all. You're suffering in the relationship, and you don't know how to move past the disagreements, despite everything that you have tried. How do you accept that sometimes your partner can be a different thinker, that he or she can be a different person compared to you. This lecture is all about understanding differences and tolerating them. Even if you don't see eye to eye with your partner on some things, you still accept them for who they are. Understand that personalities can sometimes not end up matching.
Even if your attitudes are similar. You love each other you like similar things, you may see yourselves as very different people. You may come from a different background. Ground altogether. You may have different ideologies on sex, you may see a relationship as a very different thing compared to your partner. How do you find that common ground?
The reality is this, even if you love each other, even if you care so much about the other person, you're willing to sacrifice, change and do things differently. It's not enough. That's why tolerating certain differences is what you need to come to terms to. There are just some things that don't gel together. There are two things that will never go together. It may be the case.
It's something that you need to come to terms with. You have to accept it. There is no other way. If your partner is different from who you are, let them be who they are. As long as it is healthy, as long As you are still attracted to your partner, as long as you still care, make sure you are giving them the liberty to be who they are, as long as it is not self damaging, or it is damaging you and the relationship. This is one case where you need to remember that whenever you have a solid sense of who you are as a person, what your ideologies are, what kind of background you come from, what kind of person you would like to be in a relationship, you're more likely to tolerate differences in other people as well.
It's because you hold your value so strongly to who you are. You have to see that other people can be the same way two people are different. No one is going to think the exact same way as you do. Even though you may see eye to eye on a lot of things, there will be some parts of the relationship that you will never see eye to eye on. That's why it's about finding those things that you don't see eye to eye on. It's about finding those differences, and then making them clear so that they don't affect your relationship so that they do not come in the middle of any disagreements that you may have.
Another important thing to understand here with this statement is you may have a lack of self awareness in terms of your relationship. What do I mean by this? This is a very strong possibility. If you are with the wrong person, for the wrong reasons, and you are trying to save the relationship as much as you possibly can. You're doing an injustice to yourself and your family. Now, by continuing a dying relationship, that's why self awareness is so important.
Understanding who you are, what you like in other people, what do you like in your partner? Why are you with your partner? Ask yourself some of these profound questions. And that will allow you to improve your self awareness and what you like. If your relationship is that problematic, then it is my suggestion that you opt out of it, however hard It may seem, do that service to yourself and your partner because you deserve it. However, if in case there is hope, and you do really want to work on the relationship, even if those differences may come your way, observed that you have to tolerate the differences between yourself and other people.
Even though it may seem uncharacteristic, you may not like It tolerate the differences, at least with your partner. There's nothing wrong in it. A lot of relationships struggle primarily because people don't understand this one important thing, that people can be different people like different things. People want to be very different from how we are. It's how they are as people. You can't hold it against them.
So whenever it comes to tolerating differences, it's important to understand that despite those differences, you can still work it out. Even though sometimes your thoughts don't always match. You can still work it out. You have the potential, you have the power within you to make things work, provided you want it to happen. If this is clear to you, then and only then can you move ahead with the content and Apply the stuff in this course effectively. If there are disagreements in your relationship, if you are finding it difficult to tolerate differences between yourself and your partner, then apply some of the things that I'm going to share with you in the next lecture.
That will make things more clear for you. I'll see you there