Now that you've created a strong foundation, and you've understood how to create the right mindset, it's time for us to shift our focus towards developing and understanding emotional intelligence. Now I'd like to ask you, have you ever been caught up in a situation where you need to be somewhere else, and you have to drop someone off, and you're already running late, and you're just about to lose your temper. Now, for this next example, I'd like you to imagine that a boyfriend needs to drop off his girlfriend at a family event. And now he has an important business meeting to get to right after. now in this situation, just as this girl comes running out of the house, saying, I'm ready, I'm ready. Don't Don't run away without me.
Just about to notice that this boyfriend is going to explode and scream for being late. And what does he do? He does the exact thing that you would imagine he screams at her. And then she does the same back to him. The something very important to take away from this, and I'm going to divide that for you into three parts. Number one, the context or the situation.
Number two, the things that were said. And number three, the feelings that were experienced between the two of them. Now in this context or situation, notice that the man was already on the edge, because he had an important business meeting to get to. He would have been ends in the first place and getting agitated thinking about the fact that what would happen if he would late for his meeting, his wife, who was taking longer than usual Get ready. As soon as she comes out, he screams at her, and she does the same thing back to him. Now, what were the things that was said?
Well recognize that when, what and how we say something, it really, really matters. And you will understand this better as we move ahead in this course. For the time being, let's analyze the situation. The man would have said something along the lines of clearly you don't respect me or my time. This is how you behave every single time I need to be somewhere. She, on the other hand, in the midst of all of this yelling, tries to explain the exact situation and try to tell him why she's actually late.
But before she can do that, his reaction triggers her as well. And she says something along the lines of you done this yourself and you are late to me. Single meeting anywhere. punctuality clearly isn't one of your strong suits. So there's no real need to blame me for this. And what does that do?
It furthers the argument. The last thing that you need to become aware of in this particular situation is the emotions that were felt by both parties. Right off the bat, the man would have been anxious about his meeting. His wife, too, would have been concerned about the fact that he is running late. But just as she is about to get ready, the baby starts to scream, starts to cry, and she tends to it and what happens, she ends up getting late. This takes about 10 to 15 minutes and by the time she comes out, her husband releases all of his anger on her and not even allowing her to explain the situation.
Thing. In school out of hand, and what happens that forces her to get angry too. And later, they are just frustrated with each other. The point of this story is that had there been more emotional intelligence between them, the couple's argument would not have gotten out of hand. And that's exactly what the purpose of this entire module is understanding emotional intelligence and recognizing how it plays a role in your communication pattern and your sexual relationship. More on this in the next lecture.