Reinforcing behavior in communication is very, very critical within the context of your sexual relationship. Notice that if someone does something good, you always want to reward that and make them feel like wow, I did something for this person and they acknowledged it, a very powerful tool that you can apply in your own life. This can take two shapes or two forms. One would be you actually doing something, a form of reinforcement, whether that involves something physical, like a chocolate or a sweet or it can be verbal reinforcement, something as simple as a thank you. Now, let's say the other person was paying attention while you were talking. And they actually listened to what you had to say.

You want to reward them or acknowledge the fact that they have listened. You can do this with a simple Thank you. Thank you for listening. Wow, you're such a great listener. Thank you for paying attention. Thank you for understanding.

Using this is simple, and yet so powerful. That's why it's up to you to realize that using verbal reinforcement every now and then, is very, very important, especially when your partner is showing desirable behaviors. Whether you agree or disagree here is inconsequential. Realize that sometimes people will do things that are not to our liking. You want to be in a position or a headspace that allows you to say even though sometimes this person may do things that are not to my liking, I will still reward them when they do the things that I like and that comes from reinforcement. Always reward them with a simple Thank you, or do something nice for them every time they do something that you like.

And at the same time, if they are in the same position as you, if they want something nice done for them, teach them about reinforcement, put them in a position that, you know, saying thank you doesn't hurt, it's a good thing. Bringing them to that place allows you to have a nice back and forth situation going on where you can reinforce the kinds of behaviors that you want to see in each other. Very powerful, one of the most powerful psychological concepts that I'm offering here in this course, but again, easy to apply. That's what it's all about. I'll see you in the next lecture.