The final thing that you need to become aware of while receiving criticism is learning how to negotiate differences, even when both partners seem right. both partners may have valid arguments, both partners may be right in their own way, yet a resolution needs to be achieved. So how do you go about doing this? How do you negotiate past your differences? Well, it's all about finding that solution by proposing something that meets the demands of both parties, something that your partner is angry with you about or you are angry with your partner about. Both of you have excuses both of you have your reasons, but now you need to find a solution and you do it in your own way.

So let's run through a simple example. To understand this better. Let's say the partners are arguing about who is going to take responsibility about cleaning the house, they could easily point fingers at each other saying that they're too lazy to do it, or each partner is lazy all the time. Instead, you can look at it like this. How can the house get cleaned? by dividing the work?

How can we reach a resolution without attacking each other and making each other feel small by telling that you're lazy? No, you're lazy and you're trying to get me out of this and you're trying to put all the work onto my shoulders. Simple. Divide the work and tell the other partner something like, okay, you clean the yard while I do the bathroom. Notice how it's looking to solve the problem, rather than try and win the argument. That's the most important thing here.

Try and find out if they are using this bird. Killer situation as a means to express anger about something else. This is very typical. They bring up issues from the past. And now that entire dearth of anger that is, beneath all of this stuff that has built up over a period of time, now it's coming out in one big rush. You want to be sure that your partner is not bringing up something from the past, that this is something about another issue that has absolutely no relevance with this.

But yet, because of that issue, it's now irking them, and now they're getting angry. So ask them a simple question. Is this really about just the bathroom about cleaning the house, or is it coming from somewhere else? What's going on? Let's talk about it. What happened?

Ask your partner as much as possible so that you can find clarity on the situation. Why are they actually angry with you? Is it related to not cleaning the house? Or does it have to do with something else make a proactive effort to avoid retaliation. There is nothing worse than causing an argument for no apparent reason over trivial matters. There is a systematic way to deal with criticism and find a solution whenever a problem arises.

Even though it may seem like retaliation will give you that immediate relief. It's not always the case. In the long run, it's always going to create more problems, and you want to avoid that as much as possible. So make sure you negotiate your differences by trying to find common ground, try and see how a solution can be achieved instead of pointing the finger at the other person and you will find yourself in a much better place than you were before. I'll see you In the next lecture