What do you do when things are not going your way? What do you do when things are never going to turn out the way that you want? What will you do when your partner and you do not see eye to eye on something, and never will. This is one of the most important chapters, if not the most important that is listed out in this entire course. You have to learn to agree to disagree in these situations. It may just be that your partner and you will never see eye to eye on a particular topic, that you disagree on something and that is going to stay the way it is.

Nothing can change it. That's okay. You have to learn to agree to disagree on these particular issues. The thing is, even if there are disagreements from time to time, you can still remain strong, respectable worthwhile and effective as a couple in the long run. Most people fall into this assumption that disagreements are always a bad thing. They aren't.

It's what makes that person, your partner in this scenario, a special person. Maybe that's why you fell in love with that person in the first place. Maybe it's what makes them different. That's what makes them special to you. Have you ever thought about it like this? This agreements from time to time, are not always a bad thing.

It's what makes you strong as individuals. And in the context of being a couple that comes together. You've heard of the phrase opposites attract. I think that fits the case here perfectly. Understand that disagreements are not destructive. If you feel in the long run, that these disagreements are strongly impacting your relationship.

That no matter what your partner is just too different from who you are as a person, you're not enjoying yourself in the relationship you're struggling, then there's something that you need to do about it. You need to be 100% sure, in this circumstance that yes, my partner and I are not a good match. The disagreements have gone beyond what I initially thought, now dealing with it is not enough. Now I need to do something about it. And that typically in the case, if you do want to continue being in the relationship, then you need to agree to disagree. However, if you fail to even disagree, understand that it's going to frustrate your partner anyway in the first place.

So moving ahead and thinking about how you can get past this disagreement and whether it really matters does it deserve the amount value, the emotional energy that you're putting onto this, versus moving past it and understanding what really matters in the relationship. That's how you go about doing this. If you're looking to resolve your disagreements, first, understand that if the relationship is struggling with disagreements that cannot be resolved, then you need to focus on the important stuff. You need to handle these impasses productively by focusing on what you have in common. That's it. It's very straightforward.

Instead of focusing on your differences, you focus on what you love about each other. You focus on the things that you like, and then you move ahead from there. Now in case you cannot solve them on your own, then It's time. It's time to seek help. It's time to go to a professional and get The kind of treatment that you need in order to resolve the conflict or the sexual difficulty that you're currently facing epically your sexual relationship or your interpersonal relationship has different causes when it comes to a particular problem. However, the kind of symbiotic relationship that a physical problem has on a psychological level, and what a psychological problem has on the physical plane.

This has an intermingling relationship, that you cannot undervalue. What do I mean by this? A physical problem can affect one's psychological state of health, and once psychological state of health can affect their physical health. This in the context of your sexual relationship can mean desire disorders can mean arousal disorders, or even orgasmic disorders, you are having difficulty with these various aspects of your sexual health. And ultimately that is affecting your relationship and how you interact with each other on a day to day basis. Now it's time to go to a professional, get the help that you need.

This person can either be a medical doctor or a mental health professional. Among the medical doctors that you may want to visit are urologists, gynecologists, psychiatrists or Sexual Medicine experts. On the front of mental health professionals. You may also want to again see psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, or any relationship expert that can help you out with your problem. It's always better to visit a medical doctor first, to help rule out a possible medical issue that has physical Origin that a psychologist may not be able to diagnose, and then go ahead and seek psychological help. However, it's been proven through research that a combination of the two, that is medical assistance as well as psychological assistance has given the best results for both sexual and relationship issues that have common origin.

Now, even though I've given you a basic understanding as to what you need to do, whenever the problems go out of hand and you are not able to resolve disagreements, or sexual difficulties, here are some warning signs that you can look out for that can tell you definitively that yes, I need help. Now. The first thing is that your sex life has become exceedingly boring, painful, problematic or distressing. This one is very, very important to note. This is Y again, emphasize that you go and see a medical doctor first, so that they can help rule out a physical cause for any of these problems. This can be again linked to any of the sexual disorders that you have.

And that may be plaguing your relationship as well. The second thing is that your fights have been increasing in intensity and frequency. And now you're really struggling with having to deal with your partner on a day to day basis. This moves us into the third thing that is you are unable to stand the sight of each other. And the thought of the other person just drives you crazy. And this one is very, very important.

The Spark, the love, the amount of romantic expression that you show towards your partner that has drastically gone down. It's not the way that it used to be under both of these circumstances number Two and Three, that's a clear indicative sign that you need help from a psychologist or a person who deals with relationship issues. This is a very, very clear sign that you need to pay attention to. And if you miss out on this, you could prolong the problem believing that, hey, only physical problems are important, this one doesn't really deserve my attention. So let me just ignore it. That's where things get complicated.

That's when a psychological issue turns into a physical condition. And for a long length of time, people end up struggling with it, the issue which may have been easily resolved in the beginning, now it requires complex treatment procedures in order to solve it. The next thing that you need to pay attention to is that the problems have expanded from one area of your life to another area. What do I mean by this? Now, let's say you've been Fighting with your partner. Now you've started to perform poorly at work, your occupational performance has now gone down and you are now not able to perform or you are not as happy on a day to day basis as you previously were.

Now it's time to get help. The next thing is that you have tried everything to help the situation and nothing. And I mean nothing that you are doing as an individual or as a couple is helping the relationship improve. This one is very, very critical. We are so blinded by the fact that we can solve everything on our own, that we can do everything ourselves and that makes us ignore possible solutions that we can actually get from professionals. Understand this, you cannot solve everything on your own.

There are certain answers aspects of these problems that can be solved only by professionals. This is what most people get wrong. And this is why people suffering indoors for a prolonged length of time. They never come to understand the importance of going and seeing a professional and they believe that this rugged individualist in me can help solve the problem. Don't be that person. If you feel that there is a problem, then go out and seek help for it.

Lastly, if there's anything that I haven't listed here that you feel is a warning sign, and that deserves the attention of a professional, go out and seek it. Again, a short review, agree to disagree on certain issues that you feel are damaging your relationship, but you can look past it because you love your partner. The next thing is that even though these disagreements are now starting to affect your relationship, you need to understand and ask yourself some important questions. Why do I like this person? Why am I in this relationship? Do I really want to continue suffering and being a victim of our disagreements?

Or do I need to think about coming out of this relationship? Are there any sexual difficulties that I'm currently facing? Or are there any sexual difficulties that my partner is facing that requires the attention of a medical doctor or other fights that are going on a lot? Are there things that I have tried recently that are not giving me the results I want to see? And do I need to seek help for that? When you answer all of these questions, then you put yourself in a position to actually go out and do what is necessary in order to help the relationship.

This is the core of this entire lecture. That is If you do not resolve it now, if you cannot do it on your own, then go out and seek help for it. I'll see you in the next lecture.