While majority of the content in this course is designed to teach you how to improve your own behavior in the context of your relationship, it also helps you in learning how to change your partner's behavior so that it improves the entire relationship on the whole creates love in your life once again, and takes your sexual relationship to a very pleasurable level. And that's why it's important to learn how to create that change by making requests. requests are made in order to help your partner's change their behavior, do something differently. Now let's say they are doing something that isn't preferable to you. Now, they will learn that they need to do something differently once you request it. Finally, they'll learn to stop doing something that hurts or is not gratifying.

This is very important Because majority of sexual interactions usually has this problem, where something that you are doing or your partner is doing to you, it hurts or it isn't necessarily pleasurable. Now this is because they may have experimented with other partners, or they don't have enough experience. They may have watched it online or heard about it from a friend, and so on and so forth. multiple sources of misinformation exists today about what is considered pleasurable, instead of trying to figure out exactly what fits your relationship with your partner. That's the most important thing. That's what you need to figure out.

And you do all of this by making requests. So the next time that you need to do any of these, you want to create a change with respect to any of these things in the context of your sexual relationship. Or the kind of intimacy that you are trying to develop, then you can make use of these requests. Now, this entails you doing one very important thing, so that things become very clear for your partner, you need to start becoming more specific, you need to be specific while requesting a change. This is a mandatory process in the context of the scores. When you are more specific, you take out a lot of the guesswork, your partner doesn't have to assume a lot of things that are associated with things that need to improve.

Instead, you get down to exactly what needs to be done, and you make that change. So you bring yourself into a position of trying an exercise like this. So instead of saying, I want you to be nicer to me, which sounds kind of condescending and doesn't really respect the other person. You can try something else I would have Appreciate it. If you talk to me in a more pleasant manner, when you want something, I really would appreciate that. Now, this is a very powerful thing here, because not only are you detailing exactly what you want, but you're also talking in a futuristic sense that in future I would like to see this happen.

You have to be respectful while making a request. It sounds very straightforward, but how often do you practice it? So if you are faced with a situation like this in future, I would ask you to aim to be specific. Otherwise, it would lead up to a couple of problems like they would not understand exactly what you define as nice, or they may not understand how to be nicer. So it's up to you to carry the conversation forward once you use this opener, and explain to them what exactly you define as nice and how They can be nicer to you. Again, you can ask your partner to follow the same exercise so that you can learn more about them as well.

So proceed by making specific requests after openers, like there's something on my mind. Is this a good time to bring it up with you? Notice the tone. Notice the words. It's all designed in a specific way to bring up a specific request. So based on that, use statements, use open ended and closed ended questions to reveal to yourself and your partner exactly what needs to change and systematically go about this by being specific.

I'll see you in the next lecture.