One of the most powerful ways to convey information and make a request to your partner is by using I talk I talk involves you having to use a lot more of words like I, me and my in your speech additional to this. You can also say stuff like, I think, I feel, I believe, and this allows you to not only express your feelings, but it also improves your sense of self worth. Remember that it is easier to achieve a desired result when I talk is used to frame requests. Why is this? That's an excellent question you may be asking, well, when you convey information in this fashion that I think, I feel, I believe my perspective, immediately it allows the other person who is on the receiving end of the information Connect with the information on an emotional level. And when you connect with the information on an emotional level, you connect very deeply with it.
What do I mean by this? Let's run through a simple example. Here when you have AI versus you, when you look at AI, when it comes from your perspective, it comes as I would like it if we spent some more time cuddling after sex. Now, that's your request. That's your perspective. And this allows the other person to work with the information that you've given them, versus putting the entire responsibility onto them.
You put it across as you don't care about me. All you seem to do is want to move away from me, and it seems like you're totally disinterested and you don't want to hold me after we make love. Clearly, the eye perspective is much, much more preferable here over the EU perspective. Recognize that information is conveyed in this fashion. And you don't over generalize your perspective. When you use I talk, that's why I talk is so preferable.
When you generalize your perspective to the entire situation, it creates a thought process in the other person's head in that this person doesn't really care about what I think this person doesn't really care about what I feel. But now, when you put it across in this fashion that I think, I feel, I believe that is your perspective only immediately the other person is allowed to play with the information that you have given on a very deep level, and that makes them more likely to follow through with it because they are able to relate with it as just your perspective. And now they can share theirs or they can tell What they think so that you can work out the request in the required fashion, try using I talk in front of a mirror, record yourself on camera, or even try practicing it with a confidant before you use it with your partner.
I suggest this because it allows you to see how this can actually be done in a very refined way. And you can improve yourself before you actually apply it in the real world. This is really effective. Remember that this also provides you with consistency about information, how it has been conveyed in terms of your facial expressions, your tone of voice and the actual words that you use. And it all comes together under the broad concept of congruence. What is congruence?
In short, congruence is consistency between how you think how you feel and how you behave. I'll say that again. congruence is consistency between how you think, how you feel and how you behave. Once you put all three of these into a central line and the information is communicated to the other person, it is communicated clearly, that is exactly what you are striving for, by trying to achieve congruence. So strive to achieve congruence by using your eye talk and make sure that your thought process is in line with how you behave. I will see you in the next lecture.