Welcome, my name is Kyle cap and I know what you're going through because I went through it and I've helped hundreds of other people get through it. I'm very excited to have you here and my social anxiety course designed to help you feel more energized and excited about social situations, public places, such as the mall or grocery stores, I'd like to start off with a bang. So as these videos go on, you're going to learn more fundamentals and more foundation. So in this video, I will be describing some practical steps that you can begin to take right now to help your personal growth. I just have to preface that these steps might feel pretty good to us right now, but they really will only be effective if you learn to apply them using the principles that you will learn throughout the rest of this course. So why are you here?

You are here to beat social anxiety. You are here to grow calmer and more comfortable in all situations. And plenty more confident. Right now you may fear going to the grocery store. You may fear going to the mall or other busy public venues, you may fear being in crowds. Ultimately, you probably fear having a panic attack or going through that cascade of horrible symptoms in front of other people.

But Has anyone ever told you what fear actually is? Fear is false evidence appearing real fear is a lie that starts as a feeling. It has a purpose for a second and then it becomes a useless ocean of suffering. But what are you actually feeling when you feel fear? Did you know that fear and excitement are actually the same exact chemical responses to the body? It is the mind that decides to define the circumstances as good or bad.

You see your experiences a choice. Can you see how some of the things that you fear especially as it relates to your anxiety, could actually be looked at as exciting, new places, new opportunities potential for great things to happen to you, so don't worry at all if you can't wrap your head around the idea of being excited about the things that you currently fear because right now you might be plagued with the what if monster? What if they laugh? What if I panic? What if someone gets hurt? We need to begin to rewrite all of your what ifs?

What if I make a new friend? What if I fall in love? What if this happens to be one of the best days of my entire life? What if I really, really enjoy this next trip to the grocery store? What would that feel like? What if my boss loves me?

Or what if my boss is jealous of my hard work and fires me and helps me realize that I could actually do so much better? You see, a lot of what we're going to do is take the framework that you're currently suffering from, and wield that into something that's powerful. The asking yourself the right what ifs should become part of your regular practice. You should also begin to imagine just humor the idea of excitement rather than fear. No, I know, kale, how am I supposed to feel excited about doing something I absolutely hate. So don't let hate become your prison, because life will continue to give you things that you need to learn to grow through until you do.

This is a giant lesson, life being a beautiful journey. And by the end of this course, you will have a much better perspective of that. The next thing I'd like to talk to you about is the acceptance of chance, you must understand that at every moment, anything could change and that true control is actually accepting everything as it is from moment to moment because anything else is purely an ignorantly resisting. Did you follow that one. If you're not accepting, you are ignorantly resisting. So begin to climb out of your head out of your own worry on what others might be thinking or feeling by practicing this level of acceptance.

When you're in a social situation, standing in line at the grocery store or any other very public place. I have some time To keep you out of your head and in better control of your situation, when you're with someone else, look at them intently. Think of your presence as a special gift to them. Listen to them respond to what they are saying. And if they decide to stop talking, ask them questions to seek out a common interest. If you can find something in them that you're genuinely interested in the conversation will flourish, Bond, love and be real.

Now, how will you begin to build a real sense of confidence? I used to focus on affirmations and listen to motivational speakers all the time. I still do. But it wasn't until I started challenging my very belief system that I realized that these things they only helped on a superficial level. To gain real confidence we need to plant this seed at the very core of your being. This means that you have to expose who you believe you are to the world.

If you keep your opinions to yourself, you will never be truly confident with them. You must test them. You must reveal yourself to others. Think about it this way. How do you know that your ideas are based on intelligence or based on a sound perspective, if you can't challenge them, if you believe you're funny, test your jokes out. If you believe you're creative, show off your skills.

But to get deeper here, don't give up on these beliefs. Just because a handful of people didn't accept them or handful of trials didn't yield the results you were hoping for everything in life is a journey, you're going to need to learn to be truly honest with yourself. This means testing everything again and again until you can be absolutely certain that you have the best idea you can have, at that present moment. Never robbed the world of your true self. You are special and you are precious, my little snowflake. And I truly mean that.

There is no right and wrong, be flexible and enjoy the ride. You can achieve this by five people that you trust to genuinely and constructively criticize the things that you do and say the ideas that you have and the beliefs that you hold. As they criticize, allow yourself some time to sit back and truly digest what they have to say. And then decide whether or not you feel it's appropriate for you to change. Do not avoid criticism, relish in it, like a beautiful sculpture, you want to look at it from every single angle and make improvements as you see fit. This is how you will grow true confidence by watering this seed again.

Now, as it relates to a grocery store. I want you to start to notice how anxious everyone else actually appears. You may empathize with them, but do not emulate them instead. attempt to be that calming force among them. How can you make someone smile today? How can you be the light in someone else's darkness you really have no idea how you can play Someone by smiling or saying something nice to them.

You never know how that might come at the perfect time. And you will love how that makes you feel. But do not seek this from other people stop wanting or needing it from others. Instead, start to give to yourself much more, you're going to want to continue to refine and rehearse who you want to be. And we'll talk about that in the next couple of videos. But for now, make sure you're digesting each of the points that I'm saying and for now, another practice that I'd like you to do is every time you walk past a mirror, look deeply into your eyes and put your hand over your heart.

Breathe deeply and tell yourself I love you kale cap, except you want to use your name, and most importantly, you want to convey this message with your eyes. You want to feel it. So look, there are many hard lessons to learn in this video in the videos to come. I can't beg you enough, but I'm going to Try please please watch this video more than once. Please watch all these videos more than once and take plenty of notes and the next lesson I will teach you how to apply everything to your mind and your body and how you will begin to rewire your entire nervous system for calm. Until then.

Don't take life too seriously.