So now let's talk about why we run out of things to say. So that can happen, that you are in a social interaction, you are interacting with someone, and then there is a blank. So in this video here, I would like to show you why it happens at the first place. But then also, how can you deal with that if that happens? So why do we have a blank, we have a blank, it's because we think that what we have to say in an interaction is not good enough. In other words, we have a filter for what we are allowed to say, in our brain, and then it's too high.

So if the filter is too high, we filter all the information that you have. We've picked up everything that you want to say, and the filter is so high that says, Oh, that's not good enough. You cannot say that, oh, that's not good enough. You cannot say that. So what you should do instead, is lower your criteria for what you say. Because remember, words are only 7%.

And what really matters is the 93% the nonverbal how you feel your emotions, The tone of your voice, your eye contact your smile, the energy that you have, that is really, really important. And words only 7%. So first, I would like you to change your focus. And don't focus on really what you have to say, but focus on what you have to feel. We'll discuss that later in this in the course on really all these nonverbal stuff. But really, I want you to change the focusing, hey, what do you have to say is not as important as you may think, yes, it's important to to get the conversation going.

That's really important. But you can almost say anything, as long as it's socially accepted, and you don't want to hurt someone, and you don't have bad intentions. So basically, you could talk about anything, because if you think if you talk with your friends, you can talk with them for hours and hours and hours. And you have something to say. But then what happens that when you approach someone at a networking event, or someone that impresses you, or someone that you think is of higher value, then you think oh, It's not great enough, I cannot say that it's not great enough and your your filter is really high. So lower the criteria and talk about what you want.

Remember, talk about everything that is around you about something that happened, something that will happen in the future, talk about you talk about the other person and just share something, share words with the other person. Now, what if that happens? What if you are talking to someone and then you have this blank, what happens? First, you should be comfortable with that. It means that whatever you feel the other person feels, so if you have the blank, and you start being really anxious and being really stressed, the other person will feel that. So be relaxed, be at ease, be comfortable with that.

I even had someone in the bar that that approached me because I approached this person, beginning of the night, and then at the at the end of the night. The person came and said Wow, it was really incredible because I thought one moment we had the blank, we had nothing to say. And then you felt really great and really comfortable. And I also really had a great time at that moment. And it's the first time that happened to me. So you see, by just being comfortable, you can even have great interactions.

Because whatever you feel the other person feels, but the goal is not to have blanks, okay? If you have one, it's natural, that happens. So, if you have a blank, be comfortable, and then try to initiate the conversation with almost anything. Why am I saying that? Because you're having a blank and the person will tolerate a lot of things that you can say, because you by saying something, you will remove the pressure of their shoulders, and it's something that is really valuable for them. So it means that even if you start talking and something it's a little bit awkward or off you reshape everything In a way, that's maybe not the best one in the world, it doesn't matter.

The person will appreciate it and will reengage the conversation. So how can you can you reengage the conversation? First, you can talk about what was said before, let's say that you were talking about going to Barcelona about your job, or about a passion that you have about the policy, something that the person said, for example, the person said that they like playing basketball. So to reinitiate the conversation, you could just say, A, which is the best team right now. Or something in in the way I'm just making things up. I just wants to to show you that it doesn't have to be perfect when you are initiating a conversation.

And it's not a big deal at all. And then what you should do, and what you can do is have a question toolbox. So I have three questions that I ask all the time. If there is a blank, so I don't want to share them with you. Why? Because it's aligned with who I am and my personality, I would like you to find three questions that you can ask if there is a blank and three, I would say generic questions that you could ask anyone.

And that would really shaped the conversation. And then you are ready, you are ready to go and have interactions. Because if there is a blank, you will become comfortable with that. And then you can reinitiate the conversation. And then you can also ask questions from the toolbox. You already