So now let's discuss about what to say in social interactions. So first, I would like to say that most people focus too much on what to say, and not enough on the nonverbal. Because Did you know that a communication between human beings 7% is words? Only 7% and 93% is the nonverbal, it means that it's your voice, your eye contact your energy level, your body language. So as you can see, the 93% are more important than just the 7% words are only 7%. So it's not as important as everyone thinks.

It's more important, for example, how you say things than what you say. But as you must say something. Let's discuss it. Before sharing my advice on what to say in social situations. I would like to tell you a story 10 years ago, I wanted to be better socially. So what I would do is that I would write down every sentence that I would say, when I would go out.

And what happened is that I would go out, and I would have a script that I would be telling people, and people would think I was crazy. And they would sense that there was something off about me, but they couldn't really understand what they would say I'm robotic. I'm, I'm just off all courts. And I couldn't understand why. And I understood that what is important is not what you say. But what is important is that what you say is aligned with who you are.

And that is expressed in the moment. Let me explain. If you are authentic, and you talk to people, you share yourself freely with the other person. Like I'm talking to you by now I'm just expressing myself. It will be more authentic than having a script. And that's just reading a script that is not even mine.

So what I want to say is don't stress too much from What to say, as long as you have good intentions, as long as you addressed expressing yourself, you could basically talk about everything. It's not about what you say, that is important. It's the fact that you are the one saying it. So now let's discuss what you can say in social interactions. Most people think that it's only you and the other person. So it means that you can only talk about what is happening between you and the other person.

But what they forget is that there is also what is happening around you. So there is the environment, there is what happened before in this environment, what will happen in the future in this environment, there is by past, there is my present and there is my future. There is also your present your past your future. So if we are talking together, there are a lot of things that we could talk about. So next time that you're talking to someone Remember that it's not only you and the other person, it's your past to present to future, the other person's Past, Present future, the environment that is around you, and what happened before in that environment? And what will happen before of what will happen after in these environments.

So this is really, really important. Now, the first questions that I would ask when I approach someone, so I approach someone, I compliment them, I ask a question, or introduce myself, then the question I would I would ask is, how do you know each other if I'm approaching a group? or What brings you here? Why? Because it's a great way to start knowing each other. It can be in business or it can be in relationships.

So if I'm approaching a group, how do you know each other so that I can understand the group dynamic? Or I can just ask What brings you here so that I know why the passion person is here and the intention that the person has. He's the person here to have fun to find the clients to have a great night, have to find a new friend. Why is this person here so that I can really understand better? Then most people would say, don't ask the boring questions. And I would say you can ask the boring questions Why?

Let's meet a straight up. Where are you from? What do you do? Do you come here often? Or you could say, hey, Do you come here often? What do you do?

Where are you from? It's not about what you say the questions that you ask, but it's about the energy that you have behind them. So as long as you are feeling great, and you have great emotions, you can ask the boring questions, and it will be okay. Because remember, words are only 7%. What is behind the words is what is really important. It's the 93% so you can ask those questions.

You can also talk about the environment, you can talk about the music, you can talk about the place about the food, about the wine, you can talk about the conference that was there before you can talk, you can talk about the presentation that the person gave, you can talk basically about anything you can see here, I don't want to tell you, you should say that that that that that what I want to give you is a framework that I would like you to have a freedom of choice about what you say. But my suggestion would be to have an intention when you start an interaction with someone. For example, you are to networking events, and you want to get a new client. So you will be saying things. For example, you will be asking questions that will lead to getting the new clients or you are in a bar and you want to find a girlfriend.

So you want to ask questions to say things that will lead to the fact that maybe will be girlfriend boyfriend. So maybe you will ask if she's if she or he single, will maybe try to share stories about yourself, you will ask questions to know each other. You see, it all depends on the situation that you are in. But my suggestion would be to start asking questions that are not personnel. Start with small talk. Why?

Because we want to make the other person feel comfortable. Don't start with a question, what is your darkest secrets? Why? Because it's too personal. So start talking about things that I would say, are not really important, or it's just about you and the other person, the environment, but things that are not too personal. So that's why asking the basic question is great.

So if you want to know how I do it, I approached someone, I introduced myself, the person say, his or her name, and then and then I say, oh, what brings you here? Oh, awesome. I'm here because I want to do that. And then I can observe something in the environment. I can observe something that the person is wearing. I can ask a question.

Where are you from? I can even guess where the person is from. I could say, Oh, you look from South America, or you look from Brazil or you look Italian, I would really have fun with conversations. I would ask question, I would maybe ask, what are your passions and interest, but later in the conversation, not when I meet someone, I would ask I would say the boring questions first, so that the person can feel comfortable, because it's not only about what you say, which is about how the other person is comfortable towards you. So if you see that you are talking to the other person and the person is not really comfortable towards you. It may be because you're asking questions was too personal.

You're asking questions that the person Want to answer all that you are literally correct. So try to have these social emotional intelligence that says, oh, the person is not comfortable. Maybe I should just talk about something about the environment, about the music, and just share something about myself, or something that I did today, or where I want to go. Well, my next vacation would be, I could just talk about anything. And actually, I tried that. I went to bars, to clubs, to networking events.

And I had to talk about nonsense. And most people don't, they aren't, you wouldn't be able to make it work. And what they had to do is to say one sentence that would make sense, and the other sentence would be total nonsense. And I was able to get clients, I was able to find new friends. Why, because it's not about what you say it's about how you deal with what you say. So, try to look for things that you can say in interactions.

And I really encourage you right now to just sit down and imagine that you are so more so, somewhere of value to you, for example, it can be a networking event, it can be a bar, nightclub, any social place, and you just write down and you think about the framework. So the framework again, there is the environment between you and the other person, the past of the environment, the future of the environment. For example, if there is an event that will take place here, or there was a conference before the resume the other person, so there is your present, your future, your past, there is the other person's future present past and you can talk about it. So write down what you could talk about with the other person and just have a general framework. I don't want you to Memorize the sentences and then go there and do exactly what I did 10 years ago, I would like you to have fun with that.

But never forget that when you approach someone, you should have an intention. your intention can be to have fun to find new clients, to find a boyfriend, girlfriend, to make a new friend. But you must have this intention first. So that you will lead the conversation that way. So you can ask yourself this question, what is he What is my intention in that social place? It can be for example, to find a boyfriend or to reconnect with my family.

So if it's about reconnecting with your family, you will lead what you say, and the questions that you ask so that you're able to reconnect with your family. That's all you need to talk to people. Have fun with that. And in the next lecture, you will learn what happens when you run out of things to say, and that will give you techniques so that you will be able to talk to people And it will be easy for you and you will become charismatic. So, do this exercise, write down the things that you could say in social interactions.