Why we are attracted to who we are attracted to. We have evolved quite a lot from the caveman days attraction is based on more than just the need to procreate. We get to choose our own mates in most cultures, since things are so different now, what is it that makes us attracted to someone? Number one is social. There are three parts to social. The first one is similarities.

It's instinct and culture that lead us to be attracted to people who are like us. Statistics show that people often choose mates who are the same class culture and religion. status. In some cultures, partners are selected based on the economic and social standing. But all cultures do this to some degree. Most people select meats that raise their self esteem.

At aesthetic cultures influence our tastes and partners based on when What were shown to be beautiful, but not everyone goes after the most socially attractive person because everyone is unique study showed that many people choose partners that they feel have a similar attractiveness as how they see themselves. Number two is unconscious. There are two parts to this. The first one is differences. Psychologist Carl Jung taught us that opposites attract. The idea is that we're attracted to people who complement or complete us.

This can create balance and at an unconscious level, we might be attracted to what we feel that we're lacking in ourselves. It's true. We are attracted to differences in some ways, but opposites attract might be an exaggeration. Next, it's resolution. This idea is that we attract people that we feel can heal our wounds. harville Hendricks had a theory that an imago or a blueprint that our subconscious mind looks for in a partner that is made up of the public Positive and negative traits of our parents or guardians to resolve childhood wounds, basically saying you're looking for somebody that can make you feel better from childhood wounds or trauma.

And finally, number three is programming. Programming includes the things we tell ourselves patterns, habits and beliefs that we develop throughout our lives. By becoming aware of them, we can change them.