The non negotiable list. So what is the non negotiable list and non negotiable list is a list of things that you are not willing to negotiate in your life. It's up to you to figure out what you will and will not be willing to accept in a partner, your relationship and your life. So make a commitment to yourself not to settle. And don't forget this list is for you. Be honest with yourself.

If you absolutely will not stand for something, draw a line and stick to it. If you think you could make some changes. Don't put that one on the list. This is a list of positive traits you absolutely want and negative traits you absolutely don't want. When we fall in love with someone, the mind is high on its own chemical reaction, which makes it hard to make rational decisions about the relationship. This chemical reaction can last for months, up to three years.

But when the buzz wears off, you start seeing things more clearly and seeing the person for who they truly are. Our minds will create whatever it is And makes the person and our relationship fit the story that we want. The reality of it can be good or bad. It can be good because you may realize that your partner or relationship compliment you and make you a better person. This could help make some of the unpleasant things that you were blinded from at first, not so bad compared to the great things that the relationship has to offer. On the other hand, you could learn that you and your partner have totally different views on life, temperaments, levels of commitment, ethics, personalities, dreams, etc.

Unfortunately, for some learning that you're not a good match after the in love experience can happen at a point in time when it's difficult to end the relationship. Even though it may not serve either of you. The couple could be living together engaged or married, or even more challenging, have a child together. If life is hard with a partner who has different viewpoints on life, imagine having to agree on parenting. Before you start a relationship, it's very helpful and important to assess stablish a list of non negotiables your guard will come down when the in love chemicals kick in. Being high on love makes us forget our needs and standards you have heard of love is blind, right?

Having a list of non negotiables will help you make clear decisions when you fall for someone new instead of just following an old pattern or judging the relationship based on the initial attraction. If you just started or are already in a relationship, it's not too late to make the list, it's for you. So don't show the list to your potential or current partner. This is because people can make changes temporarily, especially in the beginning of a relationship and try to be something that they aren't. This doesn't mean that they're trying to lie to their partner on purpose, but because they're in love, they may want to try to meet the other non negotiables. without even realizing it.

You need to let your partner be who they are. Instead of trying to change them. You can't make an informed decision on whether someone is a good match for you until you see their true colors. So how do you start your list start By writing all the things you can think of that you know you do not want, then do the same for those things that you must have. Do this for your relationship and for your partner. A good source for ideas is to think back on your past relationships and about what did and didn't work.

Think about other relationships you experienced as a child and adult examples can be something as serious as no violence or as simple as must like cats only you know what you will and will not tolerate and what you need. Try and remember that many people that are unhappy in their relationships they've settled rather than staying true to their needs. You can't fool yourself forever. Make sure when you're done that you review the list so after writing it, put it away and let it sit for a few days. Then look at it again and go through each item one by one asking yourself whether they are truly non negotiable. An example is is your partner not doing dishes really a deal breaker if they have all the other things that you want?

You can change non negotiable anytime it's totally up to you just know that you will either learn it was negotiable, or you will find out you compromise on something that was truly non negotiable. Take the time to think about whether this is something you may have missed during the in love phase and if you think you can continue the relationship or not. If you have a partner that has at least two non negotiables from your list, it's best to get out of that relationship. Staying in this type of relationship can make the unwanted behaviors get worse, the person will get comfortable acting a certain way and it will continue. Don't settle. Picture the relationship you want and deserve