Fake Solutions that don't Work

The Complete Communication Skills Master Class for Life Conquering Your of Public Speaking and Communicating
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Transcript

If you have a fear of public speaking, you've probably tried a few solutions in the past. Let me name some of them and kind of debunk myths surrounding them. For starters, there's this idea that you can just take a drug, there is a drug, there are beta blockers out there, that will keep you from getting his 10th step. But if you're still giving an awful speech, if you're still boring, what good does it do? And what happens when you have to speak and you don't have these beta blockers? I have had clients have used beta blockers.

I do not recommend them. And now they don't make you high. But they do keep you from bidding is 10 step. I think that's masking the problem. The real problem is, you're not certain you have a great message and a great speech. And we got to focus on that.

That relates to some of the other solutions. People say, oh, let me just do a couple shots. I do a couple shots of tequila. I'll be relaxed and I'll do fine. Again, the Problem quite often is not that you're tensed up. The problem is, you haven't prepared the right way and you're not absolutely certain that you're going to give a great speech.

The problem with drinking a little is alcohol on most people affects your memory. I'm not telling you about after you've had 14 drinks and you can't remember your name, a lot of people even for one drink, it slows down the recall process of your memory. So it's even harder to think about what you're going to say. Now you're already tense and nervous, so your brain isn't working as well as it normally does. So if you add that little extra element of the alcohol, it slows you down even more. Plus with alcohol for some people it can make you read can also make you a little sweaty, that will make you look nervous.

The other problem with having alcohol, even one glass of wine before a speech, is quite often people come up to you afterwards, shake your hand maybe the only time they meet you in their entire life. If they're smelling alcohol and your breath, that may be the one thing they remember. So I don't recommend that. Some people said, Well, if I just have green tea, it'll calm me down. Maybe, but it won't make you a better speaker. There are those who like to deal with hypnosis, or visualization techniques.

If I just visualize myself getting a standing ovation, everything will be great. Or if I convinced myself I'm not nervous with speaking, I'm not saying there's no value in those things. But my point is, you're masking the underlying problem. The problem is, you've got to make sure you have a great, interesting, relevant speech for this audience. So let's not try to cover it up. Other techniques people use they think, well, if I just read my speech the whole time, then no one will notice that I'm looking scared because my eyes will be down.

Well, if you read your speech, you Gonna put everyone to sleep and you're going to seem scared. And that's the problem with using a teleprompter. Or some people say, Well, if I just sort of stand back here and read the bullets on my PowerPoint, then no one will notice me. They'll all be focused on the PowerPoint. Now they won't. If you do that, everyone will be focused on this.

That's right, reading their email. So these are all awful tactics, that people have to cope with their fear of public speaking, but it doesn't deal with the underlying cause. Let's step back a minute, let me ask you this. If I told you that I had a deathly fear of walking through Times Square naked because people would laugh at me and think I tell me I look stupid. And I'd be worried about gash in my fat. Am I going to get arrested for indecent exposure?

Am I gonna be in the news tonight? Would you tell me what to say here? a pill so you won't worry about it or here's a bottle of tequila get drunk, and you won't worry about walking naked Through Time Square. Or TJ just visualize yourself getting a standing ovation with everyone saying how wonderful you look naked. Would you give me that advice? Or would you say, for crying out loud DJ, put some clothes on before you walk through Times Square.

I think he would do that. Similarly, think about how you get ready to go to your office or your school or place of business every morning. If you like most people you get up, you look in a mirror, get out of the shower, you look in the mirror, you get dressed, you're there shaving, putting on makeup, you look in a mirror. So by the time you leave your house and walk into your office, you have looked at the mirror numerous times. And you know, there's not grape jelly all over your face, not lipstick over here, because you've looked you've had independent verification. So somebody said to you, okay, now be nervous when you walk into that office of eight colleagues you've seen every day for two years.

You probably say, Well, how can I be nervous? I mean, I know what I look like, and this is how I want to come across, this is the best I can do. There's no surprise, you wouldn't be able to be nervous, because you have a process in place. And because you looked in a mirror, you didn't visualize yourself, having your hair combed and your makeup on, you actually looked in a mirror. But when it comes to speaking, there is a similar process and that involves practicing your presentation. on video, we'll be talking about that in further lessons, but we can't get to that until I've sort of gotten rid of these bad ideas out there.

There's so many bad ideas on how to mask your insecurity about public speaking. The reality is there's a group reason for being nervous about speeches and talks. Because chances I don't want to sound mean here. But chances are your speech might be really boring. It might be really awful. Now, why am I saying that?

It's because think about it. Most speeches, most talks, most presentation, most PowerPoint presentations are really dull. They're just boring data dumps. So if you're nervous about being a speaker and standing up and giving a presentation, it may just mean you're a nice person and you're feeling sort of awful or embarrassed or ashamed about boring people to death. Well, the solution isn't for you to feel better about giving an awful speech. The solution is for you to actually give a great presentation and you can

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