Step one, when it comes to good listening skills is anytime you're listening to someone speak present, talk brief you share with you a concern. You have to have an agenda. And the agenda needs to be 100%. listening and understanding that person, everything else in your head has to go away. I realize we all have problems, we all have other concerns, issues, things we got to worry about. The roof is leaking.
But when you're trying to listen to someone, convince them you're listening and actually listen, you're going to have to free your mind. What that means is you can't go into this with the idea that you're going to outsmart them, debate them, show them where they're wrong. There may be times when you do have to do that. Believe me, I wrote doing that, but it doesn't work in most business situations. It works when you go on talk shows and debate. And for many years, I was a political talk show host and I went on as a guest on every network.
And there you've got a really, really wait for your opportunity to boom, hit your message points attack the other person. That's a great skill if you want your own talk show on cable news, or on talk radio, but when it comes to most situations in the workplace, it's horrible. People are gonna hate dealing with you. They don't want to be in a meeting with you. So step one, you have to empty your mind, really focus on that person, that human being talking to you, preferably, preferably when they're in the room with you talking to you. But even if it's over the phone, you've got to focus on what they're saying.
What is the actual meaning? What are they trying To convey what do they want you to do? This means you can't be thinking about Hmm, I wonder what my buddy posted on Facebook? Am I missing any interesting tweets? Oh, my gosh, I haven't checked my email in three minutes what if I miss something you've got to give the person you're speaking with the person who's speaking to you your Attention. Attention isn't just one is here and one is here.
It has to be 100% if you want to be an effective listener