The first thing we have to do before we come up with a solution is to diagnose the problem. We've got to see are you assertive, not assertive, really seeming scared, nervous? What exactly is the problem? What's driving you to this course in the first place? We've got to do a diagnosis. And when it comes to speaking, that's easy to do.

Technically, it's easy emotionally, it can be hard, getting motivated to do it. But I need you to give a speech a presentation. It could be three minutes, but I need you to video recorded on your cell phone or webcam. I know you don't want to do it. Guess what? It's the only way you're going to get better at this.

It's the only way you're going to have the confidence you need in order to come across as truly assertive when you speak. You wouldn't be in this course if you didn't feel like you were somehow lacking in assertiveness, lacking in confidence when you speak. And it very well may be True, but we have to figure out what we're dealing with. Because sometimes people feel like they're way down here and their confidence and assertiveness level. And everyone else feels like they're up here. And when they look at the video of themselves, they see it's up here.

Other times, people think they're assertive and confident, but they're really down here we're trying to do is to get it together. So there's no disconnect between the perception of how you are and how you actually are when you speak. That's the beauty of video. It doesn't lie. So that's the first step. I need you to record yourself giving a presentation any presentation.

And we only need about three minutes or so to speak on whatever it is that you are likely to speak on on a regular basis. That's harder for you. So if you give sales presentations every single day on copiers don't now give a speech about your child's Little League Soccer Team. It may be easy to get excited and passionate about that topic. about whatever it is you talk about in the business setting. And let's establish a baseline.

So I want you to record yourself now. Then I need you to watch it. And when you watch it, I need you to really focus on strengths and weaknesses. And I know some of you said, well, there's nothing I like it's awful. Everybody does something, well. Maybe you're not saying more like, maybe your speed is okay, maybe your volume is fine.

Maybe you have some good hand gestures. But I want you to give an accurate, fair criticism of how you're coming across. Now the things that typically make people seem nervous, uncomfortable, less than assertive is their voice. their voice is too low. Volume is too low. It's almost like they're scared.

They're afraid if someone hears them, they might hear them make mistakes. So volume is one thing Speed is another people who are nervous and uncomfortable. They're what they want to sit down. They want to hurry up and finish and sit down so they speak quick too quickly. That makes you seem scared. Does it make it seem like you're really confident?

And that you want people to pause and reflect on what you're saying. So speed is one of those things. There are other things that make people seem like you're doubting yourself. Ending sentences with question marks the upturn. Even though you're not asking a question, that's a huge element and making people think you're not assertive. Look at everything you're doing with your body.

If you're holding pens, pencils, paper, the lectern these are all things that make you seem scared that make you seem withdrawn. Oh, poor little me, as opposed to asserting yourself. And your ideas on your audience now, I'm not suggesting you have to be some theatrical Anthony Robbins or like the former's Ziegler and parading around the stage and demonstrating wildly. I'm not suggesting that I want you to be comfortable with your style. But if you're just standing frozen in one spot behind the lectern, that sends a message to people that you're scared, that you're timid, that you're uncomfortable. Certainly if you're reading that is a disaster because you've destroyed your eye contact with the audience.

And you seem withdrawn in yourself. assertive people are focusing on the people in the audience. They're trying to assert their will on their ideal spot. So if you are ignoring your audience, and you're in your own little world staring at your PowerPoint slides or worrying about notes. You can seem scared, timid, nervous and uncomfortable. So, look at that right now.

Record yourself, analyze it, come up with a list of what you like and don't like do it now.