Good news. The Five Love Languages don't only help you in the personal life department, understanding and applying the principles go beyond that, and can help you a great deal in areas such as finances, communication, management, education, and others. Of course, they were primarily created to fix issues that occur in family and romantic relationships. Throughout the course, you have been presented various examples of how tuning in on the way the person communicates, changes interaction for the better. And let's say that again, for the better. In this video however, I'd like to address a way of managing anger and also clarify the codependency issue that has been creating so much faster over the internet.

First of all, I want you to remember an instance in which your partner and you fought and think of something remarks or approaches you've made? I assure you the exercise is educational and eye opening. Okay? If these then has brought you back nasty feelings, try to walk the extra mile and instead of feeling hurt, become curious. Ask yourself the following questions. Why would my loved one say that?

What made them say that? is it relevant? Is it true? If you've got a yes to the last question, then congratulations, you have taken the first big step in solving out your differences. In my opinion, frustration is just misplaced anger. And if let loose, it can seriously damage a couple.

So the next step after answering the questions is to identify your partner's love language. I'm sure that if you've had the patience to hear me out for so long, you already know how to do that. Now comes the hardest part. approach your lover or spouse With openness, sit down and say what each of your needs and wants in order to feel love. Some might say that this apparent win win situation is a classic case of codependency. A definition of the term indicates it's a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's addiction or maybe poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility or underachievement.

So, in the case of the five love languages, this would translate like, if you love me in my love language, I will love you in yours. Oh, and whoever drops the ball first shall receive no love and punishment. sounds horrible, doesn't it? I think so too. But that is not the premise of what Dr. Chapman based his entire research and theory on. Firstly, love is not a bargain, or even words some sort of twisted dictatorship.

People who think like that are at fault to begin with, because they see the world as being black and white fair. Therefore love, just like everything else in their world has only two sides black, white. If we were to apply this to dimension love the way some understand it, it would mean that a mother will only love her children if they show the affection the mother expect them to. And if the children don't do that punishment, then the mother expresses no love. Is that really the case? If you speak physical touch, and your son or daughter comes up to you with a drawing and says, Mama, I made this for you.

We do not feel and express love in return. So what if your son or daughter communicates through gift and it's not your primary language, the emotions are there and they are real. And here we get to my second point, the whole point of using Chapman theory is to improve relationships by focusing on what the other person has to offer under various forms, and not on what they're not doing. In this regard, identifying issues in your relationships should be the starting point of reconciliation, not something that announces the start of a war. The Five Love Languages was never about keeping scorecards, but it's always been about letting love flow naturally. Whether it is through acts of service, words of affirmation, quality, time, and so on.

The individual is encouraged to learn to express affection under different forms and advice to take into consideration their partner's emotional needs and wants. In the end. I believe this is just common sense. In a healthy relationship, you listen and respect each other's needs.