Hail

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Transcript

That's how to generate great content. You're thinking about the receivers, you're thinking about the audience, you're going to hit the bullseye, you understand how to motivate them. You've asked the crucial question. So what why is this important? Why should they listen to me about this? I'd like to talk about where to speak from.

There is a place you can speak from, which I think is very powerful. There are many places you can speak from. But there are four foundations for powerful speaking, which really should be your home base. In powerful speaking, they spell the word hail, which is easy to remember, and also means to greet or claim enthusiastically, which is I think, a very nice way to remember it. Hail Caesar, you know, that kind of hail. So what do they stand for?

Well, the H is honesty, honesty, being clear and being Straight in what you say. Now, those are two different things and we'll talk about exercises that can get you there. Being straight is no lies, no exaggerations, no obfuscations, we've talked about the dark side, we've talked about the seven deadly sins. And two of those deadly sins are very much eliminated. If you focus on being straight in what you say. There's a great TED talk and a great book by Pamela Maya, about lie spotting.

And I think she says that two strangers will lie to each other three times within the first 10 minutes maybe of speaking to each other. Lying is very human. How are you all Fine, thanks. I don't perhaps mention that I've got a sore foot because you don't need to know that. So that's not technically true. You know, those little white lies happen all the time in life.

And I think if one is being loving, if they're coming from Loving place. That's not a sin. That's not a seven that decent. But being clear and being straight generally is extremely important if you want to be received well if you want to speak in power, and just think of the people that you know, on a scale of the people who are really clear and straight to the people who are extremely unclear, hint, massage the truth exaggerate out and out lies or obfuscations won't ever say what they really think and which ones are you most powerfully connected with? Which ones do you want to sit and listen to? There's a great joy to listening to somebody who is clear.

That also means avoiding jargon, using short words where long ones can so often crop up if we want to look wiser than we really are. I am a big fan of simple language, and there usually is a simpler word. I have a passionate about To the word provide in business, what's wrong with give? That kind of slightly business like jargon tends to get in the way of being understood. And it's very refreshing if you can keep your language as simple and clear as possible. So that's honesty, clear, and straight.

Authenticity, being yourself. Now we're going to come on to some much more detailed stuff about authenticity. But the big question here is, if you're going to be yourself, you have to know yourself. If you're going to be true to yourself, stand in your own truth. You need to know what your truth is. And there is a big questions to us that many, many people have never asked of themselves, in the sense of knowing oneself knowing what is one's truth, and what image one wants to project about that.

So there's a lot in there. If you're going to be yourself, you have to know yourself. Integrity Being your word. Well, that's also extremely important. And we're going now to move on to look at some powerful concepts here, in being your word and how to how to work that in relationships, whether they be at home, or at work, and love. I do not mean romantic love.

This isn't about your loving relationships. This is simply about the way you connect with other people in general. I think the Greek word is Agha pay. It's well wishing, loving kindness the Buddhists would say it simply means wishing people well. And if you're delivering a talk from a stage, wanting people to get something out of this, again, so important to remember it's not about me. It's about them.

So this course is not about me, it's about you. And I am seeking to give you the gifts I can give you the fruits of any knowledge and experience I've had over the years in a way that you can use Now let's move on to some exercises, which will help you to stand on these four cornerstones really of powerful speaking, honesty is quite easy to assess. You can look at your writing, check your emails, or any other writing that you do. And just look for, are you being straight and clear in your communication? Are you using jargon? Do you use a lot of big words?

Do you use long sentences were shorter ones would do get into the habit of speaking plainly and simply and being straight in everything that you say. Obviously, there are limits to this. And as I said in the book, you know, being straight with people is fine, as long as you're not putting yourself in harm's way. I mean, there are abusive relationships. And I'm certainly not suggesting that you put yourself in harm's way. If you're in that kind of a situation then please seek professional advice.

Because it can be very dangerous sometimes to say the truth. I wouldn't want to be going round in a country like North Korea and saying what I really think, for example, so you can have a political situation, you can have a national situation, you could have a local situation or a family situation where it's not okay. And you will actually be in danger. Please don't do that. However, if that doesn't apply to you, then it's a noble quest to review what it is that you say what it is that you write, and to see how clear how simple how straight you are being in everything that you communicate, give yourself an audit. Authenticity, as I said, relies really on knowing who you are, if you're going to be yourself, you have to know yourself.

And I'm going to give you a couple of tools here, which I think may be very useful to you. I would like you to create a thing called a powerful personal introduction, a PPI, a powerful personal introduction. You know, when people you meet somebody for the first time and they say okay, What do you do? Most of us because we haven't formulated this and practiced it at all. We'll go well, I'm doing it at the moment. It's a bit you know, and and while I'm doing this other thing and and we kind of ramble about and feel a bit unclear about who it is we are, what it is we're doing, what do we stand for?

How much should I put across to this person and so forth. There is a way of getting over that lack of clarity that discomfort in saying who we are kind of your elevator introduction if you like if you stood next to the person you'd most like to meet in the whole world in an elevator and you had 30 seconds what is it that you would say to introduce yourself to them so they really know who you are? Well, there are four things to make up a great PPI and here they are. Who are you? Now this may be you may want to have a personal one of these and a business one of these things It's up to you, or you may just want to have one. So I'm Julian treasure.

I am an expert on sound and communication. What is it that you do? What are you setting out to achieve? I help organizations all over the world to improve the sound they're making. And I help people to communicate better for happiness, effectiveness, and well being. Why is it you do this?

My vision is to have a world that sounds beautiful, and a world where people speak and listen consciously, which always creates understanding, which results have you achieved? I've trained thousands of people. My TED talks have been seen by more than 90 million people now. And I really believe that this work is making a difference in the world. Now, think about those things for you. So I am x. I do why.

What is it? I'm really about what am i seeking to achieve? Why do I do this? What's my passion? What's my vision? What's the big picture?

What am I trying to get to at the endpoint? And how I've done so far? What results have I got? Or I run a team of 20 people or whatever it is that you do, I have a happy family. I've got five children who are growing up and doing this, that and the other, whatever it is, that you want to include in here. I do urge you to take on creating a ppi.

And just before I give you that exercise, there's one other thing that's worth doing. Two other things actually, that are worth doing and thinking about, I said right at the beginning of the course that it was worth creating, defining your values. And I said at that point, my values, faith love acceptance and gratitude which spell the word flag, easy to remember. And they give me a moral compass. They give me a direction they give me a yardstick a way of judging. Am I behaving in accordance with my values?

Is this pointing in the right direction for me, please do at this point, we visit your values or if you didn't do them, then do them now write them down. Ideally, not 10 things because it's too many to remember, probably not one, somewhere between two and six tends to be about the right number to focus on. If you can make them into an acronym, so you remember them so much better. If you can't, then just remember them. And that gives you your moral compass. That's a really good thing to color.

This powerful personal introduction, particularly when you get to the vision or passion piece there. The other thing to think about is the image that you want to portray. If you are a speaker, how do you want to be seen by people? Is it the suit? Is it somewhere in the middle, sort of casual but smart, or is it very informal jeans and a shirt or a T shirt or something? This is obviously colored by me being male and this image is male, females listening to this, the same thing applies, obviously, the parameters would be somewhat different.

So how do you want to portray yourself? What are the good colors for you? years ago actually had my colors done by somebody I came into contact with who did that sort of stuff. And I learned that blue is good for me and yellow is not. So I tend to wear blue things. As you may have noticed in the videos.

I'm not the person to judge whether they look better than yellow things, but I did tend to feel that that was correct. I mean, it's all about your skin color and your eyes and all that sort of stuff. You may want to get that done. You may want to get some professional advice on the image you want to portray the clothes you want to wear, but do think about it because these things have an effect on people. You know, some people are obsessive with it. In the old days, it used to be that people check people's shoes for example, probably were much less formal now.

I never wear a tie. For example, however, it is important to consider for the audience or the person you're speaking to what's going to get my message across in the most effective way without being inauthentic. I mean, if it's not you to dress up in some sort of formal attire, then don't do it. Be yourself be authentic. without losing that you can certainly decide on different looks for different situations. And just think about what's appropriate.

I have seen speakers who have gone down very badly because they've been entirely inappropriate in the way they presented themselves to a particular audience. So it is possible to get this very wrong. And it is certainly worth thinking about it, even if you don't want to change very much. So your exercises here, in terms of standing in your own truth, write a 32nd ppi. So go back to those four things that I've just dealt with the four questions. And ask yourself those questions.

And write down the answers. And then practice and practice and practice until it becomes more and more natural, you'll start to knock bits off and run bits together and so forth. It should, it shouldn't sound like you're giving four bullet points, it should sound a very natural thing. Keep it to 30 seconds. That's enough. That's pithy, short, to the point.

And it will be just about the right length. When you've got it, practice it, practice it, practice it, record yourself doing it, video yourself doing it if you need to. Practice it with your family or friends, you know, tell them what you're doing, that you're doing this course and that he said, You should do this thing and would they listen to you doing this thing and people will be delighted generally to do that. And when you've really got it and it's just coming out naturally, then you can start to deploy it in the real world. Also think about your authentic look or looks. So you might have a range of looks that really are all you.

Please do think about that. And think about it in the context of whom you're going to be speaking to. Okay, well, let's come back to integrity. If you're going to be your word, it's very important that you understand how to put your word across in a way that means you're not going to break it all the time. And there's a very large topic here that I'd like to introduce to you. And that is the topic clean communication, something I like a great deal.

It's also a very powerful way to communicate with people. Clean communication is asking questions. Don't steer people. in a particular direction, it's making clear agreements with people. And it's making simple, powerful requests of people. When you want something, if you're going to make agreements, incidentally, very important to note them, and check and keep them.

You can't keep an agreement. If you forget it, something that often happens to me, I'm not perfect at noting down agreements, it's very important to do that. And if you do that, you can then check them on a weekly basis, you might have a list of, I don't know how many agreements you might make in your life, even if it's 50, or hundred agreements, you can scroll down at every week and just remind yourself, and then they are lodged in your neurons much more effectively, than if you simply try and keep them in there in the first place, which is, in my case, anyway, a fairly dangerous place to keep information. So what do I mean by clean questions or understeering questions? Well, there are four kinds of question that you can ask. So a closed question would be if I were to say to you, have you enjoyed this course?

Well, that's yes or no, that's a closed question. I'm not going to glean very much information from that. Really? Yes. I've enjoyed it. Thank you very much.

Or no, I really haven't. I found it very difficult. Okay, well, that's, you know, that scratching the surface. And like all closed questions, it's not that informative. You'll get much more information out of open questions. How much have you enjoyed the course?

Or what have you particularly enjoyed about the course so far? Now, if I asked you that question, you're immediately thinking and you're going to give me information that's useful. And if I get quite brave with open questions, I might say, what would you improve about the course if I were to do it again. And then I would get some very useful information. So those are open questions. leading questions would tend to be the kind of questions we ask in the sales profession, for example, there's a thing called the alternative clothes.

Would you like the chocolate? Or the marshmallow? What have you enjoyed most about the course? Have you enjoyed the content stuff? Or have you enjoyed the delivery stuff? Well, your answer would be content at the moment because we haven't done delivery yet.

But you see what I mean? You're steering somebody's giving people options, fundamentally. Now, that's a powerful thing to do. If you know you're doing it, and you're doing it for good purposes, if you're checking in on the ecology of it, is my heart in the right place? Am I doing this in order to achieve something to give something to the other person? It might be that you're looking to sell something to somebody, in which case, that kind of language can be very powerful, indeed, clean questions, don't stare at all.

And there's a whole body of work now particularly in the therapeutic professions, which is Seeking to remove the questioners experience agenda assumptions from the questions. And instead of coloring the questions, asking simple, open, clean questions. A clean question would be What did you have for breakfast? The less clean question, more leading question would be, did you have a cooked breakfast? Or did you have fruit that's starting to steer you because in my world, those are the two alternatives. So I'm imposing my version of reality on you.

Open, clean questions can be extremely powerful. The important thing is to understand the difference between the types of questions that you can ask and to ask the ones that are going to achieve the objectives that you have set your intentions for you, your intentions for them, and of course, their intentions for them as well. If I relate that to a sales conversation, in my opinion, and in my experience having done years of selling the best sales conversations, and the ones that are going to lead to long term relationships are the ones that actually deliver their intentions for them. They may not have understood that they have a problem with this, that or the other. But they do. And here is the solution.

And you're helping them to achieve the solution, not selling them something they don't want. Don't need. There's no why there's no what it's just get on with it and pressure, pressure, pressure, that doesn't work so well. Even if you're asking leading questions in a very persuasive way, what you're not going to achieve that way is a long term relationship. long term relationships rely on understanding the other person, which is asking a lot of open questions about what it is they want to achieve. What's the big picture?

What are their long term goals? What are their short term issues, what things are in the way of them getting their long term goals? How can you help them to overcome those obstacles? Now, a particular form of question that's very important in all forms of relationship is a request a request. Now I distinguish a request from a demand like this. With a request, you're okay with all three outcomes.

So my request to you is listen carefully to what I'm about to say, the outcomes from you would be Yes, okay, I'll do that. No, I'm not going to do that. I'm too busy at the moment. I'm going to pause this or I've taken up some of the time, but I'm not going to give you that time now. Or a defer. I will do it.

But I have to wait 10 minutes, or I will do it tomorrow. So those are the three outcomes to a request, whatever the request is, if you're not okay, with any outcome other than Yes, then it's a demand. Not a request. And I do suggest that where it's possible and again, as long as you're not going to put yourself in harm's way in any way or damage yourself in any way, do try to make clear, clean requests of people for what it is that you need. Rather than hinting beating about the bush asking lots of indirect questions, which kind of pointed what it is that you want, or even more obscurely wishing they would guess what it is that you want, and not asking at all. It's a much more powerful way to be in conversation with people simply to say I have a request.

My request to you is that we go out in five minutes and do the shopping. And if I'm okay, with all three outcomes, that is a simple request. You can say no, I don't want to do that now. And I go, Okay, okay. Maybe we have a conversation about doing it another time. When would you like to do it?

Or you might say, not now but half an hour and I okay, that's fine too. Otherwise, I'm demanding that we go out now and do the shopping and I have Have a big soak up, don't do it. That's not a recipe for great success in communication. So my suggestion to you is that you practice clean communication. Just try it for an hour. First of all, as with many of these practices, they aren't natural things to do it first, because we've been in habits that are not these for a long time.

Try an hour. And then if you get that right try day. And if you get that right, try a week and then after a week, it will start to become more and more natural. The key thing is to be conscious. Now let's come to the L of Hale the love. And really the heart of this is the realization that it's not about you, as I've said several times, you're asking what's the listening, I'm speaking into you care about giving the people that you're speaking to the person you're speaking to a gift.

That might be the gift of your attention. You're listening, and it might be the gift of you Inspiring or informing or teaching or entertaining them in some way with what it is you're saying, it's not about you, and making them think well of you. That may be a natural byproduct. What it is, is about wishing them well. And thinking about their needs, and giving them what you can. Now there's a great exercise for this.

I was taught it by a very old friend of mine many, many years ago, when I was lost in resentment about somebody, I can't remember what it was. And I was complaining, which is one of the seven deadly sins about somebody and his name was Charlie, he said, Why don't you try this? You know, there's the old adage that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Resentment is something only you feel it doesn't occur to the other person at all. Instead of being in resentment, how about being in well wishing so that's the kind of love I'm talking about with the L of hail, wishing people well, you can do that simply by thinking, bless you, or I wish you well, as you go about in your daily business. Now I can tell you this is hugely effective.

When I took this practice on. It felt like I was walking several inches above the ground, I felt so much lighter, instead of having nasty thoughts about people when they got in my way, or they didn't do what I wanted, or whatever it might be. I was simply wishing them well. Bless you, I wish you well, I wish you well. It sounds crazy, but don't say it out loud because people will think you are very odd if you do that, but it does work. It gives you a lightness in being it means that you're able to meet people's eyes.

Whereas perhaps before you were thinking something less pleasant about them and avoided their eyes. It's a very, very effective practice. And it's a very important one because when you on a stage or when you're having a conversation with somebody, it needs to be about the gift you can give them and you need to be wishing them well and hoping that you get this ball over the net to them so they really receive what it is you want to say. So that's the foundations of powerful speaking in much more detail than I was ever able to do is on a TED stage, Hale honesty, Authenticity, integrity, and love with some exercises which will help you to develop each of those four cornerstones of effective speaking

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