Hello, and welcome back, you're almost done. This is the last major section, blame versus responsibility. So in this section you'll discover how blaming leads to feelings of powerlessness, and being responsible contributes to feeling powerful in your life. And that's what this is all about DIY mindfulness, do it yourself, mindfulness, making choices that make us feel powerful, having thoughts that make us feel powerful using words. And, you know, we talked about in affirmations, the energy of our thoughts and words, goes out into the universe, and then it's returned to us as our life experiences. And so that's what we're talking about blame versus responsibility.

Looking at how blame can leave you feeling small and powerful leaves you feeling expanded. Do it yourself mindfulness, because only you can make the choice moment by moment to have a powerful life. Have actions and behaviors that support the greatness and magnificence that you are. What is blame? And what is responsibility? I like going over the term so that we're on the same page of what I'm talking about.

So blame means to cues to find fault with someone or something to point the finger at someone else, away from yourself and place responsibility for an error or wrongdoing. He did it. She did it. My boss did it. Was it my fault? You know that we've all kind of done that a little bit.

Responsibility. Responsibility needs to be accountable for something to act on your own to make decisions, or to stand up for something or someone in a positive way when I'm being accountable. I know my spine is a lot straighter than I'm blaming, hiding, feeling bad about stuff that we're talking about the power of our actions and behaviors, which is a more powerful position and why responsibility, the energy of blame is a lower vibration and I talked about vibration before where you walk into a room, and you know, maybe you're in a good mood but then you feel like someone vibing negative vibes. So the energy of blame is a lower vibration. You know, when I blame, I start kind of feeling a little smaller, I start shrinking. Let me can leave you feeling powerless.

You have no control. When you claim, you lose the ability to change a situation. If you're pointing the finger at someone or something. I can't be powerful, and I can't affect any type of positive change. If I'm saying well, you know, wasn't me. I have nothing to do with it.

Because I'm always looking for someone else to handle it. The energy of being responsible is a higher vibration. You have control and power. It's the energy of pure leadership, the real movers and shakers I mean, just look at the pictures. So his fault, her fault, their fault, not me. So when I am claiming that it's someone else's responsibility, I'm moving it away from me.

There's no way that I can be any type of positive influence. If I'm always going like this now look at the picture of leadership, responsibility intelligent, honest, creative, confident, driven, courageous. So look at remember this picture, and then remember the picture of the negative thoughts and the affirmations where the woman was like this. She was literally weighted down by the negativity. And like this one even feels like it's raising me out when I look at it. Would you rather be around someone who blames or someone who's responsible?

Who do you feel you can trust more and why do you feel like you can trust Your boss. So imagine you're at work and your boss blames you for losing an account. How would that make you feel? Okay? You can you don't even have to know the words. You don't even have to know what this guy is saying.

But look at it. Look at the energy of the picture. That one guy is screaming and look at how the other guy had his head down. Does he feel creative? Does he feel that he looks like he's passionate about this? Do you think this man respects his boss?

Do you think he wants to follow his boss? Do you think he trusts his boss? I know that when I've had bosses that weren't responsible or blamed or did weird things. The only thing I wanted to do was try to find another job I wanted to get away from because it wasn't a harmonious environment. I didn't feel supported. I didn't feel like they had my back.

You know, so as a boss, as a parent, as a group leader, if we're Blaming, and we're leaving people feeling like this. And that's not what DIY mindfulness is all about. So how about a boss who takes responsibility for the department's losses and makes corrections? So what do you think is an effective leader? Which boss? Would you rather work with?

Look at this team, like, Yes, I get that these are just pictures, but they also represent energy and they represent how we lead people, and what our actions and behavior create in the world. So you are taking this mindfulness class because I feel like you are committed to being a contribution, you're committed to being responsible and to lifting the vibration. If you are more interested in blame, and pointing the finger away from someone you wouldn't be here. So that's what we're talking about. It could be a situation at work. You could be on a team or your kids could be on a team and you have a coach that blames the kids for the losing season.

No Man's got a bunch of kids who were disappointed And they're definitely not feeling motivated and passionate about playing with this coach or on this team, or maybe even a sport. So as responsible in the, in the in beings, we want to raise the vibration of the situations around us. We want to be a contribution. We don't want to leave people feeling like this. So what's the problem with not being responsible? So we're talking about blame versus responsibility, but sometimes, maybe were not blaming them.

We're not pointing the finger and saying someone else did it. But we're definitely not being responsible. So I like to share I like to share stories because I'm, you know, on this journey with you, I may have been on it a lot longer, but I'm still having to look at who I'm being one moment. And that's why I love teaching DIY mindfulness course because it's Keeps me present to what I'm teaching keeps me present to me. So not being responsible can show up in many different ways. So, recently, I opened a window in my kitchen, but I didn't realize it.

And so I was pulling on it and I got stuck and like kind of looked at the curtain back and realized that my husband at shot because it was perfect. So I didn't know this at the time. And so then I'm trying to pull down the window and bang on and the window was like just sitting there, you know, slightly askew and would not move. So he comes in from his morning hockey run. And I close the curtain because I'm feeling guilty. You know, memories of maybe getting in trouble, you know, and we talked about in beliefs, those things that are imprinted on my brain that you know, I still believe so there is a belief there that wow, I'm going to get in trouble or he's gonna be mad or irritated or annoyed or whatever it is.

And so see then that belief has Me, not being responsible hasn't tried to hide. And that's why it's important to uncover what those beliefs are so that I can be present of what's actually going on in the moment and not react from being a little girl afraid of getting in trouble. So I'm talking to him. And I find that I'm like looking at the window, like hoping that the curtain would stop billowing, because every time the breeze came in, so I'm hoping that he doesn't notice this window. But I'm half paying attention to our conversation. I literally feel like myself shrinking.

My spine is curving over because I'm trying to creep out of the room before he notices that this window is open. So I'm like stepping out of the room. And that small voice says, No, you're really not being responsible, and you're not modeling the behavior that you want. And so I finally just said, No, look, I tried to open that window. I didn't realize it was broken. So he looks like yeah, you know, that's why I had a tape as well.

You know, I'm sorry, I didn't know. And literally before I could even get out of the room, he had the window out of the bracket he had gotten us to, I had to move out of the way so that he could fix this window. It was his day off. I knew he had things planned and fixing a broken window wasn't one of it. But because I owned up to it, he like literally no attitude, no negative looks or anything like that. He just went and fixed the window.

So I went upstairs, I'm like, Oh, yeah, I was responsible. Yay. So you're thinking, Wow, what's the big deal? It was just a window. But each choice that we make even these small choices about not speaking up, and not being accountable, impacts our lives. So it wasn't just in that moment that that powerlessness would occur every time I would think about that incident, or every time, he would remind me of that incident, I would also be reminded of the feeling of guilt, or the feelings of being small because I didn't speak up.

And so that's the power. That's the problem with when I'm not responsible and accountable. And only I can do that. That's why it's called DIY mindfulness. Because only I can make the choice of speaking up, or not speaking up. But when I speak up, then the power that I felt from speaking up, I get to bring that with me into the future.

So we're talking about, you know, remembering things and bringing our past into the present. Well, when I am not powerful, and when I feel powerless and small, then that one incident follows me. Because I'm not just thinking about that incident. I'm thinking about how I've done And you know, the universe doesn't know the difference between what's really happening or memories. So if I'm thinking, God, you know, I'm so small, I'm not accountable. Remember, in affirmation we talked about every word you speak is energy.

So that's what I'm putting out into the world. And that's what's going to be reflected back to me. That's why I am so grateful to just be able to recognize when I'm feeling small and unaccountable, and then make a different choice. So when I make time for choices, I feel that power over and over and over again. And when I make choices that make me feel small, because small, over and over and over again, and that's why we talked about beliefs. You know, if I have a belief that I'm going to get in trouble or something, then that affects the type of behavior that I have.

And so all of this we're unraveling these things, because too often Then what how I'm behaving or reacting is from 20 3050 years ago when I was a little kid afraid of getting pregnant. So that's how all of this is starting to make sense. You ground yourself. You watch your words and the thoughts your affirmation, you start uncovering your beliefs and now we're talking about blame versus responsibility. To the game of life is not about being perfect and not making mistakes. It's about making corrections when you find you're off track.

It is only when I'm accountable for my own actions that I have the power to make adjustments and to create a different outcome. I can't be a positive change from a position of blame. You can't affect positive change in position a blank. Look at that successful people. Yes, here I am. unsuccessful people pointing away.

We were army to the exercise army, the blazers Just want to build the exercise and this is really easy. But it can be profoundly. So I want you to think about a time when you are responsible. Then think about a time when you blame someone else, make each recollection as vivid as possible. Remember, just like when you're listening to a song, you can hear a song on the radio from 30 years ago, and you can remember what you were doing. You can remember how you felt, if you if the song brings that happy memories, your experience and the happy memories, if he comes back sadness or heartbreak being remembering.

And so that's the same with when we're responsible or not responsible. All of these memories are held in our conscious and unconscious mind. And then we are re experiencing things so I want you to make each record lesson as possible. You can pause this video pause the video Get your worksheet out. We're going to go over the worksheet, but I'm going to keep going. The blame versus responsibility worksheet.

How did you feel when you think about it? Like, did you have your tax rate? you felt like you could hold your head up? Because accountable? I do I do. And I'm being responsible.

And especially when I've seen the power and the change that occurs. How did you feel when you were blaming, I know when I'm blaming like this, and maybe I wasn't even blaming someone else, but maybe like in the window, I just didn't speak up. I want you to practice being responsible. And remember, life is not about trying to be perfect. Each moment you get to make the choice of who you want to be. And so it's doing yourself mindfulness.

You get to choose who you want to be a moment. That's the end of it. Blame versus responsibility Up next is just the wrap up.