In this video, I want to walk you through how I use elements of empathy. The three elements are, of course, knowing what they're thinking, what they're feeling, and my ability to influence that. And I'll walk you through how I use that in my own sales. And you can see how you can actually use elements of this in your sales and in your leadership when you're managing somebody or in your personal conversations. Sometimes, of course, various elements apply sales aren't your personal life, so use them tastefully, but here they are, first of all, I have to know my desired outcome in a conversation. Sometimes, it's like playing poker.

I don't really know going into a conversation. I don't really know how, how much they want to do business, how much they can spend. There's a lot of factors. I don't know what they're maybe like, if I say if I'm selling, I don't know what their team is, like. I don't know how hard it's gonna be for them to sell internally. How hard For them to park with certain amounts of money, there's a lot of things I don't know.

So my worldview of their mind going in is incomplete. But I do, always going in, I'm prepared, I know exactly what I'm best case scenario I can sell, and what my plan B's are. And and that's really important. It's really important to know the paths of where you can take the conversation, because you're going to learn a lot of things during the conversation, you can prep for it entirely. Now, the information during the call that I need to gather, I need to gather their needs, how big their needs are, I need to know what their major problem points are, was gonna, if I get to know their major problem points, I'm gonna use that. I'm going to address it and hopefully present something to them that will ease their problem points and always During during the sales conversation or any conversation, while in sales, specifically on a scale of one to 10 internally, you want to get a sense how eager they are to do business with you, okay?

Because all the time you can influence this. And based on their engagement and interest level, you can offer next steps. For example, if they're only a little bit engaged, you can offer them your expensive product, right? You have to either offer them something simpler, like a lower price product, or keep on talking to them and exploring how you know, paths of conversation that maybe can lead them to become more interested more engaged, see how you can help them much more so that then they get excited about buying more. Now, keep in mind and this is really important, their mood and their engagement changes every minute. Just subconscious.

We don't know it. But it does every time you say no. Right? It makes them a little less engaged, a little less interested, every time you smile, and you have a little bit of a human connection during the quality laugh, have a little laugh about something, or agree on certain points in the in a negotiation. It makes you it's easier for you guys to work together. And especially if you have similar styles of working together, maybe, you know, if you sometimes people don't have good chemistry working together.

And so the mood of the conversation is, is always a little worse because the chemistry is in there. But if you're on the same page and you're knocking points out one by one, then there's a flow to the conversation and the mood is gets better. And you can tell what their mood is if you're attentive to it. So here's how to Tell what their mood is at all times. So what I do is always you want to start with a warm, friendly and optimistic greeting. If their energy's down, you kind of want to come down, obviously, you want to mimic their energy, but you have a, you have control of bringing their energy up.

Just calibrate, see where they are in energy level. And always try to match them but bring them back up, bring them back up, because the conversation has to be fun and nice for both of you. It's going to flow so much better, and they're gonna start agreeing to more things and we're wanting to do more business with you. And for that reason, most of my important sales calls, I only or sales conversations, I do only in person or over something like Skype so I can see their face. I never do phone and I rarely do email for important details because sessions because I can see their face and I can't see their eyes I can't see if they're smiling. It's it's a, it's much harder for me to build that rapport because so many pieces of the puzzle are missing and if you are using empathy, you should be reading their facial expression all the time.

And and making sure you guys are emerged in your mood and energy level. So always, always, always, at least for me, I do in person or video call. Some people don't want to do a video call, I actually insist on it. Because he the conversations better. And the very important thing is, I have the conversation. Go very slow, because I'm aware that every minute their mood can change.

And it can go up, up, up, up, up, but any minute it can go down. You can say something or you can you can maybe talk too much or you can lead the conversation in a way that like they don't Really like anymore or even it can be something understated like tone of voice, maybe their tone, your tone of voice gets irritated or something or they ask some simple questions you don't like you get irritated, they get that negative energy back. And so the conversations, energy starts to go down. So you always want to go very slow. Don't talk too much all at once. Get always get their sense, ask them a lot of questions.

What the here's the question that I asked, whenever I present something or talk about something I ask, How do you feel about this point that I just presented? And this is gonna give you a sense, not just reading their mood by reading their tone of voice and facial expression, but they actually want to explain to you, right, how they feel about what you just said. And then you that will be exactly your guidepost to knowing where to take things next. Another thing I like to ask after our conversation, what are your next steps? What are you going to do tomorrow, that gives me a sense of like I know what they I know what I told them but what did they actually take away from what I tell told them I want to make sure that the stuff that I said actually made it made its way into their brain it's that's not a guarantee.

So then they asked how do you how do you feel like do you have an overall plan you can follow this the same thing I'm trying to get a sense if the stuff I was saying made it into their brain or did it get confused or break before it got to their brain? I asked before we finished the the cover everything any more questions because I want to make sure that they're feel fine after the call. Everything's you know, no more questions and they feel good and complete and positive. And I also add, sometimes when I also present I asked out of the things that I suggested because sometimes I suggest a few things during a call or conversation. I asked them which the which path that you prefer, and all these questions that My remember like the scale of one to 10 in this in this slide, all of these questions are exactly them helping me understand you understand, understand, understand what I can suggest to them as the next steps.

You see, so that scale of one to 10 essentially, you got to extract this information out of them by asking specific questions because they'll tell you and reading their facial expressions, their tone of voice, their body language, all these things you can see in person like, you know, it's people are very are programmed to read nonverbal communication cues very well. And being there on a video call or a in person. conversation will really help you get a really strong sense of where they are, and knowing where they are in their mood and in their thinking will help you suggest next steps and it's the perfect Use of empathy in sales and other kinds of conversation in your life.