In this video, let's do a recap by In this video, I want to do a recap by sharing with you a checklist of a few do's. And if you don't have empathy, first of all, what you should do, ask questions. Listen, make sure you're very alert. And you need to pay attention to nonverbal communication cues, you need to be very alert, because there's really a lot going on. There's the things the content of the things that people are saying, then there's how they are saying it. And then there's all the like, body language, non verbal communication cues.

So you really have to think on your feet, and why you have to think on your feet because the mood of the conversation can change at a drop of a hat. And you need to be very, very perceptive so that you can not have a go straight so you can't let the conversation fall apart and go to go in the direction that you don't want. Okay, so you guys be very alert on it. They're always pay attention. Here's the don'ts. Don't assume that you already got it.

Like, Hey, I got it. Now I can be on cruise control because again, things can really turn one exchange of a few sentences that's like, went in a stray. And you've really lost a lot of the work you did before to put good energy in the conversation and have the conversation going in a desired way. Also, don't talk too much. Sometimes when we're nervous. In important situations, when we want to present our best selves.

We do the worst thing, we talk too much it cheapens us It makes us feel look too eager. And really, also if, when we talk, we can't listen. That's the problem. You have to do more listening than talking if you want to get empathy, right. Also, what you don't want to do is invalidate people by telling them How they should feel like for example, if somebody is telling you a story or something that happened, you should say, Oh, you shouldn't feel bad about that, Oh, this is nothing. And it might be nothing, but a damn moment that invalidates that person's will.

They're expressing to you their feelings and emotion, and it shuts them down, and they're not going to as readily communicate those things with you in the future. So you should never do that. And also, don't be too quick to tell people not just how they feel, how they should feel, but also don't be too quick to tell them what to do, unless they ask you because sometimes that's too pushy. And you don't want that instead, you want to get it out of them by asking and listening more, rather than and then thinking about it and problem solving rather than being too quick to tell them how they should feel and what they should do to those are some of the very basic do's and don'ts. I know I've made a ton of these mistakes myself like sometimes talk too much in pressure situations. And all the time in just to share with you an anecdote from my experience all the time when I end up talking too much.

I don't know why the conversation went bad, because it's so hard to talk and be attentive, attentive to the nuances of the conversation. It's much easier to listen and be attentive to the nuances of the conversation rather than when you're talking. It's harder to pick up on those little cues. And the more you talk, the more nervous you get, the more from which the conversation doesn't go fluidly. And so you get yourself in this bad negative cycle and when they say when I say you actually mean sometimes me, so that's that was like the old me. Now I don't do that because I learned better and hopefully, you don't make a lot of these mistakes as well.

Of course all of us are human. We all make these mistakes sometimes, but now that you know they are definitely do more of the do's and minimize don'ts.