Hello, it's Adam shore the heart guy. Now welcome back to my resilience course. Now in the last module, we talked about how to deal with stress and the stress response. And in this, we're going to look at how to solve problems. So let's look at problems in a blanket. Now.

There are some things that we can do something about, and there are some things that we can't. The amount of times I speak to people that are caught in this cycle of analyzing or playing back the same problem that they can't do anything about. That has already happened. That was inevitable. Now, let me give you an example of something that happened to me just to bring this lesson home to you. When I was in 2004, I was living in Thailand.

At the time on an island called Koh Samui, some of you may know it. Now, at this time, I'd been doing a bit of backpacking, I was with my friend, it was Christmas Day. And I decided to phone all of my friends and family and tell them that I was out in Koh Samui. And I was going out for drinks and it was early doors at the night, and we were gonna have a brilliant time. And we did, we went all the way through the night to the early hours of next morning drinking. And I can't even remember getting home that day.

That was the day after a couple of hours that we've been in bed, just the phone started ringing. And I wasn't answering my phone, I was too tired. And I had my friend in the room next door, go, of course, I'm not all right. I've only been in bed for two, two hours. And that's when we found out that a tsunami hit a lot of Thailand. Now it's only sheer luck and judgment that I was the other side of the peninsula and co submarine wasn't affected by the tsunami.

But it made me start thinking about my life and where it got to at that stage. You know, I always thought that meditation was a good idea, but I never really got around to do it. I'd rather be out having fun and partying with myself or another people than sitting down with my legs cross breathing. I mean, what's that all about? I never really understood meditation didn't really get it. Didn't see the point.

When people had told me about this VIP Asana 10 day Silent Retreat, where you get to sit on a Congo sleep on a concrete bed for the bamboo mat about that thick a Wooden Pillow in a mosquito net and a blanket. I thought that's not very appealing, getting up at 4am every day, not being able to speak, not being able to read books, not being able to make phone calls. I didn't really see the point. And yet, because that been such a close experience for me of being on a tiny island when the tsunami Hit, I thought it's time to evaluate my life to start looking at the deeper things to start looking at techniques like meditation. So I went to a 10 day silent Vipassana retreat to find out how to meditate. And of course, I checked in on New Year's Eve.

So these weren't just beginner meditators, these were all filled with very experienced meditators. And quite honestly, I nearly went stir crazy. Sitting down for eight hours a day in the meditation position, being taught to about Buddhism, about breathing, about meditation techniques. All I could think was my lower back started to hurt. My hips started to hurt, my knees started to hurt. All the time, we'd have this, this calm, Buddhist monk who radiated tranquility at the front, who must have been at least eight Something who could sit there for hours on end talking effortlessly, and not looking like he was struggling at all.

And he told us, don't worry, the the pain in your body is represents the pain in your mind. And it will pass through like clouds in the sky, let go of your thoughts and keep coming back to your breathing. But with my Western mind, I wanted a quick fix. I wanted it now. Come on, give me the insight. Where is it?

I'm breathing deeper. I'm not getting anything except for pain that you keep telling me is going to pass Oh, I was going through my psychological torment through this process. And what the Buddhist monk said to me, he said it to everyone but of course, I thought he's always talking to me. He said that your pain or paths, the breathing. It just shows you what thoughts are going like clouds in the sky. And thoughts are like clouds in the sky.

In the eye will pass, they will come, but they will pass. And it made me realize how certain thoughts kept coming back, and back and back. And the longer I got to spend in silence, the more time I got to see that these recovered thoughts, many of them well over things that already happened. And I was focusing on the incident, rather what I could do to start taking steps towards a better place. And it was through meditation. It was true silence, it was true.

A lot of pain in that Silent Retreat, that I suddenly realize that my thoughts were creating most of the anxiety in my life. And the same is the case for you. I want you to take some time now and write down the five things right now. The worried in you the most take time to do that. Now that you've done the exercise, I now want you to do another exercise straight away. And I want you to start thinking about things you can start to do to resolve those situations.

Again, this comes to writing things down of thoughts when they're contained in our head. Sometimes it takes writing them down, to get them out into a document to make us realize how, how lunatic some of our thoughts can be, that is where the lunatic gene starts to kick in. So journaling is a very good idea. And I challenge you now to pick up your pen and just journal write what's happened to you, right, what's going on? Certainly address those five issues. What could I do to improve this situation now?

Take some time and go do that exercise. Now that you've looked at those problems in your life, and today You've had an experience of looking through them. And I encourage you to really take the time to do this exercise, steps, bullet points, action points of practical things that you can do right now to take you to a better place. And it is that that phrase, I forget how long it is, but the journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. And what happens to a lot of people with certain thoughts, we get stuck in a thought it's like, it's like holding on to an electric and electric item, and going like this, and keeping hold on because it's such a bad thought, Well, the first thing you have to do is select out of the source of what's causing the problem and start asking a more powerful question the strength of our questions influences The results that we get in our life.

And if you start asking yourself better questions, you'll start to be able to put an action plan together. And here's a really good question for any problem that you have. What can I do now, to make this situation better? There was not a magic wand, she's not gonna sprinkle the fairy dust and everything's gonna change instantly. But your thought process well, and you'll start moving towards a better place just by asking yourself that question. So I want you to ask that question.

Sit on that. Write down your problems, start putting together action steps that you can do. And not only that, but start noticing how certain recurrent thoughts keep coming into your head, smiling at yourself. When it happens, say Oh, here it comes again. Again, that aspect of fun, let's be fun and light hearted with ourselves. Let's not judge ourselves, for going there, because judgment or judgment of situations is, is quite often the thing that gets us in trouble.

So guilt and judgment are the two enemies of your well being. How we judge other people, whether we feel guilty about ourselves, the two are often interrelated. You stop judging others, the odds are you'll feel less guilty yourself. Because when we judge others, we're putting out an energy of judgment. And we're enabling people to judge us. So start judging yourself.

It's the only person to judge here and to think about how you're going to take the challenging aspects of your life and turn them around and transmute them into something more positive action bullet steps and powerful questions that you can ask to get better. have results and in the next section we're going to look at how you can learn from your mistakes.