Welcome to week two for the second training module and this week, and today we're going to be talking about the power of saying no and the impact it can have on your life and in receiving joy and true happiness within within. Because we need to set boundaries in our life, we need to be able to say Heck yes or in your head. No. Because until we have that absolute power of Yes, I need to do this or no, it's time for me. But we especially and this goes for men as well, but especially as women, we are natural carers, we are helpers. We are empaths we want to help and be there for those of us those around us in any way, shape or form and saying yes is just If it breaks your heart to have to say no to people that are truly in need.

And but when you're saying yes, it's also saying no to other people who may need you. And what you need to start doing is you need to stop seeking the acceptance and approval from those around you. Because as you're seeking for those, that approval and that acceptance you You're, you're basically you're, you're extending yourself. You were saying no to yourself, you're telling yourself that you don't matter and these other people matter more than yourself. And I don't want you to be doing that in your life. And for me personally, I was a perpetual people pleaser.

I said yes to everything, everyone, no matter what it was, I always sacrifice my time and my energy to help these other people that were asking me for my time and my energy, and quite frankly, looking back now I'm so grateful but I have gotten over being a people pleaser, I have realized myself worth I realized how much I value my time, I figured out my values of what is truly meaningful to me. Because if I didn't do that, I would not be where I am today, I would probably obviously be sleeping right now. It's like two in the afternoon or one in the afternoon sometime here. I would probably be sleeping because I would be so burnt out, I would be absolutely exhausted because all of my time and energy is going into others instead of into myself, instead of into all the things that are truly meaningful to me.

And there's this quote from the best gas from Lysa tearjerkers. And it's you must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please and that is so powerful because we feel Like if we say no to someone, it's not a loving response. To love is to say yes to people to care is to say yes to people to be a helper is to say yes to people. But quite frankly, if we say yes to everything that is given to us, and we are a yes Person A Yes, man. We need to figure out what our priorities or B priorities are. Because if we say yes to everything, you're not really saying yes.

You're actually saying, saying to yourself, you don't have your priorities, because we don't have enough of us to say yes to everything that we're saying yes to and yeah, we're gonna be we're gonna end up hurting some people's feelings by saying saying no, that we really want to say yes to, but we're really we're hurting ourselves by saying yes to all these people, because we're putting ourselves aside in order to say yes to these people, so you especially when it comes to, for example, say, you know, you go for a job, job interview and they give you an acceptance offer, we instantly, don't. We just want to say yes, because we're like, yes, we got the offer. Okay. Yeah, take it. But meanwhile part of you saying, well, it's not really what I wanted. I, you know, I feel like I deserve more, I'm worthy of more.

But you say yes, instead, same. There's so many different scenarios in our life where we're just we automatically say, yes, instead of valuing ourselves and what we want, you really feel like we value in life. So make sure that you know what your values are, and we're going to talk about that more in the next next training. But one thing that you can be asking yourself is identifying what your life looks like right now. And if your actions are aligned With that, if what you're saying yes to is aligning with where you want to be if what you're saying no to, is that aligning with where you want to be. I mean, you might be saying no to things that you really should be saying yes to.

And you might be saying yes to too many things that is not leaving space, the energy and the time to say yes to the things that you really need to be saying yes to. So it's so important to take that time to before you jump in and say yes, absolutely, I will totally be there for you. I'll totally help you with that event. I will totally babysit your kids. I'll totally take this job. I'll totally drive you to wherever it is all you know, like, I'll be there for you.

I'm here for you. Anything you need. take that time to say, I will let you know. I don't know right now. I'll have to check my schedule. But I'll let you know.

Because that gives you that peace of mind to really think about what it is that you want to be doing with this question that you've been asked. Because we instantly want to say yes to everything. And if you are a Yes, ma'am. I will absolutely help you with that. Let me know in the comments because we got to work through that. And if you're a VIP plants, we're working through that, because that will help you get to the next step.

But really ask yourself, Is this aligning with where I want to be in life? Because chances are, all of us, even myself, personally, I still ask myself that every day because I'm still working through this and my actions aren't always aligning with where it is that I want to be. And you can't help everyone. You can't be there for everyone. It's not humanly possible, you are going to burn yourself out. You're going to be exhausted.

You're not going to be 100% present for where it is that God really wants you to be right now because there's not enough Have you to go around for everyone? So that's why it's so important that when you say yes to someone, you acknowledge that by saying yes it's better be a heck yeah let's do this thing. Why can't we start right now? Or you're going to disappoint someone else? You're not going to be there for them 100% when you really need to be there 100% for them you're gonna start feeling guilt and shame that you said yes to that person when really you wish you said yes 100% yes to this person that you're not fully present for anymore because you don't have the energy and the time for them. You need to be 100% present it needs to be 100% Yes, or else it's not really a yes at all.

It's just a Yeah, I guess I can help you out. don't really want to but and then by you're going to be disappointing that person you said yes to anyways because deep down you're not really going to be there. part of you is going to be there. The people pleaser needs going to be there, but Deep on a soul level, you're not there. And that's going to, they're going to know that. And I don't want you to put yourself in that position.

And I certainly don't want that person to be in that position either. So make sure when you say yes, it is an absolute Yes. And like I said, you're going to start hurting people's feelings. But if they can accept the fact that you know, you just you love them on a deep level, but right now, you just can't invest this energy. It's just not for you right now. And if they really love you, and if they really are some, someone close to you, who appreciates and loves you, as much as I appreciate and love you, they will accept the fact that you just said, No, they will appreciate you even more that you stood your ground, you set your boundaries.

And you said not right now, or no, I'm sorry. It's not for me or no, I'm sorry. You know, I know. You feel like I would be a good person for this right now. But I know There's someone else out there who can do a better job than me. You need to start setting your boundaries.

And people are going to appreciate more as you stand your ground and you set those boundaries. But you know what, it hurts even more to put yourself on the sidelines than it does to say no to those people. Because in the end, the only person that matters is you. Because if you don't give yourself the value that you deserve, by setting your boundaries and choosing your best, yes, you're going to hurt yourself more in the end. And I don't want that for you. I don't because I've been there personally.

And it sucks. It sucks. So I have an assignment along with this video. I don't have a worksheet or anything for it. But after this video training, I want you to make a list of all of your commitments you have right now at this moment. I want you to write them down.

Everything you have, even personal business relationships, every commitment that you have that you have Yes to, and I want you to highlight or check off or whatever it is your style, I want you to acknowledge the ones that are actually meaningful to you, that are going to benefit you that you are excited and amped up to go and do and want you to acknowledge how many of those aren't highlighted. How many of those aren't your best? Yes. And that will be a wake up call for you on how many things you're actually saying yes to that is burning you out. That's taking up too much time in your life. Because there's tons of those out there.

I know there is I know I have tons. I've had to turn down for book projects, because I just don't have the time to write. Right for those people. I've turned down podcast interviews because I just don't have the time I've turned down, you know, different job interviews that offered me God knows how much money because I just don't have The time I don't have the energy, I know that I'd be making good money at those jobs, but I just know I wouldn't be 100% present for that employer. So whatever it is in your life, I want you to go through all those commitments and write down what it is that is actually meaningful to you out of those commitments, commitments that are self given or from others. Both, both of them because there's stuff that I tell myself I want to do that is actually it's self given.

But it's been assigned to me from someone else. It's from a video I watched or another entrepreneur, I see them doing things and I'm like, oh, they're doing that I should be doing that, too. So that's self assign, but it's really, it's given from someone else because it wasn't given to me on a soul level. It wasn't something that I intuitive was like intuitively was like I need to be doing this. So it was actually Given from someone else, so write down all the commitments you have, if it's, you know, something with your business, if it's something with your relationship, you know, like, I want to be going on a date night, every single week, I want to be having weekly money dates with myself. And that's like writing down all my money that I have, in my account all the money that I've spent all the money I've received, I have, like, whatever it is, any task that you have, write those down.

If it's an event, if it's, you know, something that you know, like, say for example, a family members calling you and saying I need you to babysit. And you said yes, write that down, and family members telling you that you need to, you know, watch their house, write that down, whatever it is that your commitments are right now that is investing your energy into write all those down.