Finally, Wallen identified the skill of perception check. This is your hunch about another person's emotion. You walk into work you get home, you all immediately have beliefs about how people are feeling. You notice this all the time. Whether or not the belief is accurate, can only be known if you take what's private, your belief about how they're feeling, and take the risk of making it public. While you seem upset.

I imagine that you feel worried about that. That's a perception check. It's your guests about their emotion. Once you make it public, then again they have a chance to verify or say not actually that's that's not it. That's not how I'm feeling. So then you can together close gaps when you keep it private, especially if you're troubled, just know that you're part of the reason the gap is staying stuck.

You have to make your information public and make it public as a guess. Hold it loosely. Don't say you feel this. Don't make it some sort of fight about what they feel. Let them tell you how they feel if they want to. But you can only do that again by verbally stating your guests your hunch about their emotion.

That's it. Those are the four Wallen skills. They sound simple. You have to practice, especially to use them intense moments, intense moments, people forget all their skills and just go back to judging the other and If they feel offended, assuming that it's the other person's fault, and not taking responsibility for their own emotions, I those are all mistakes of course they create bigger gaps. Take a deep breath, if it's a tense moment, and paraphrase. Let the other person know you're feeling, feeling description.

Check out your hunch about their emotion. And by all means, be behaviorally descriptive. Oh, when you turned your back on me, I thought you were upset. Oh, no, I wasn't upset. Oh, that's a relief or Yep, yes, I am upset. Okay.

At least now it's out in public and the two of you can learn from it and you can handle it. You can work through those moments, but if you keep it private, blame the other and just walk off. Then you are allowing the gap to grow in festival And sometimes people let that go on for a lifetime or for years. You can overcome that you can handle difficult moments, use these skills. It's a pleasure talking to you. I look forward to the next conversation.

Take care