The third wall and skill is paraphrase. paraphrase is not parroting. It's not repeating the words. parroting can be very important in an industrial situation, a military situation when you give instructions to isolate a circuit so that the electrician doesn't get electrocuted. You want to repeat that information. You want them to repeat it back.
You want to perhaps repeat it one more time. Yes, that's Bravo punk be that we're isolating. You don't want to mistake so parodying can be a very useful skill, but it is not. Paraphrasing. Paraphrasing goes after two things. It takes what's private, your belief about what somebody else meant and makes it public.
Do you mean that you are concerned about this situation or are they You want me to do something different or that you want me to complete this task sooner? You make your belief about what they mean public so that you can check it out with them. It may be very different than what they meant. Again, Wallen said most conflict is a result of misunderstandings and people think they know what somebody else meant. Don't like what they think somebody else meant, and then hold it in and keep it private. And that just holds the gap in place and increases gaps.
So, verbally verify, especially if it's an important situation and important moment and important work relationship or at home, what you think other people meant. Don't just assume you know, that's paraphrasing. paraphrase also creates the possibility for dialogue. If you take the time to make sure that you verbally check out What you thought the other person meant? Then you may learn that you did understand you may learn that you didn't understand you will likely start to get even better understanding of what they meant they will probably get clear. So you start to build a conversation, not based on assumptions and reactions, but rather on what was actually meant by the two of you and you start to create perhaps mutual new understanding and new meaning through dialogue.
It's very important in problem solving. verbally verify what you think other people are telling you. Don't just assume you know, especially if you don't like what you think they mean. intention is very important in paraphrasing covey said seek first to understand then to be understood. Whether or not you're ever understood if you're willing to seek to understand Through paraphrasing, then you will close gaps and decrease misunderstanding and needless drama.